Wangaratta Bugle

Wangaratta Bugle Factually incorrect, and light-hearted, reporting of the BIG issues in Wangaratta and NE Victoria.

***PUBLIC PSA SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT***Re: 2025 Austrian (Wangaratta) Federal Mayoral Election Polling LocationsFr. James ...
03/05/2025

***PUBLIC PSA SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT***

Re: 2025 Austrian (Wangaratta) Federal Mayoral Election Polling Locations

Fr. James Byrne Memorial Hall
52-60 White Street, Wangaratta

Purbrick Hall
4 The Close, Wangaratta

St. Bernard’s Primary School
2-12 Williams Road, Wangaratta
(Demokratie Wiener schnitzels available)

- - - - - - - - - -

Leading Candidates

• Andrew Daniels
• Reece Dean
• Russell Currawong-O’Worland

- - - - - - - - - -

Major Election Campaign Issues

• Delays in construction of Wangaratta’s International Airport
• Wangaratta & Border Area Ice Skating opening hours
• A second Olympic Pool at the old Olympic Pool site in Swan Street.
• The elimination of loud bangs in Wangaratta (Yarrunga & Rangeview areas)
• The identification of aircraft flying in the sky (especially at night)

Photos: 2025 Austrian (Wangaratta) Federal Mayoral Elections are being held today (eins zwei drei), grab a Demokratie Wiener schnitzel at St. Bernard’s Polling Centre (kartoffelkuchen)

***BREAKING NEWS***Sunday, 20 April 35:07Jack Russell (Animal Criminologist)A Wangaratta dog has been taken into custody...
20/04/2025

***BREAKING NEWS***

Sunday, 20 April 35:07
Jack Russell (Animal Criminologist)

A Wangaratta dog has been taken into custody after barking too loudly in the Manley Cressent area earlier this morning.

Numerous complaints on Wangaratta’s Community Noticeboard led to the arrest with officers from Wangaratta’s K9 branch apprehending the dog.

Bail for the 6 year old Pomeranian (pictured) has been set at three 1.2kg tins of Chum with Beef & Kidney and a 500g packet of Schmackos Strapz dog treats.

More to come…

GRAB ‘EM BY THE PUTTERWednesday, 19 February 14:06Joe Culley (Local News)Wangaratta will be home to a new world class 18...
19/02/2025

GRAB ‘EM BY THE PUTTER

Wednesday, 19 February 14:06
Joe Culley (Local News)

Wangaratta will be home to a new world class 18-hole championship mini golf course after design plans were rubber stumped by Council earlier this week.

Miniature Amateur Golf Australia (MAGA) expects the project to be completed by the end of 2025 with hopes of hosting the World Mini Golf Championships in March 2026.

Florida based design firm, Designers Of Golfing Excellence (DOGE) will oversee the $45-$47 million development after they trumped Delaware’s Biden Builders. DOGE released a statement saying this project will run well under budget and no stone would be left unturned to complete the task at the best possible price.

The site, situated on the corner of Ryley and Moore Streets, will house a fully landscaped 18-hole championship course, licensed bar and cafeteria, children’s play ground and multi-level driving range. The facility will also be floodlit for night time enjoyment.

MAGA spokesperson, Donald Knavs, says this mini golf course will stack up with some of the best in the world.

“This will be a beautiful course.”, Knavs told the Wangaratta Bugle.

“Some might say this course will be the most beautiful in the world. People expecting me to run a clown show will be extremely disappointed”, he added.

Wangaratta Mayor, Reece Dean, welcomed the project and said it would create employment opportunities and recreational benefits for the local community.

“This will be a major asset for Wangaratta, creating some 30 full-time jobs and a place for residents both young and old to hang out and socialise”, Mr Dean said.

Mr Dean refused to comment when asked about renaming the Rural City of Wangaratta to the Golf of Wangaratta.

Photos: the old Wangaratta Rural Supplies site on the corner of Ryley and Moore Streets will be home to a new mini golf course facility (-2 thru 6), an artist’s impression of the fully landscaped golf course (1W-3W-5W), MAGA spokesperson Donald Knavs and his secretary Mary Lago (34 felonies)

***BREAKING NEWS***Sunday, 19 January 40-15Staff WritersUnconfirmed reports are filtering in about an explosion at a che...
19/01/2025

***BREAKING NEWS***

Sunday, 19 January 40-15
Staff Writers

Unconfirmed reports are filtering in about an explosion at a cheese factory in northeast Victoria.

Da brie is everywhere.

More to come…

***Edit: Not Milawa Cheese Company

***BREAKING NEWS***Sunday, 29 December -3 thru 7Norm Findlay (Sports)A Geelong disc golfer is missing, presumed dead, af...
29/12/2024

***BREAKING NEWS***

Sunday, 29 December -3 thru 7
Norm Findlay (Sports)

A Geelong disc golfer is missing, presumed dead, after not returning from his round earlier today.

Gary Selwood, 29, teed off at 09:10 this morning, with fellow disc golfers raising the alarm at 2pm when he did not return.

It’s feared Selwood has met a venomous snake in overgrown grass and weeds, or more likely the deadly Golden Sun Moth.

Volunteers and SES members are searching the scrubland in an attempt to locate the missing man.

More to come…

Photos: 3-foot high grass and weeds are hiding venomous snakes (hyzer flip), the Golden Sun Moth suffocates it’s victims and is attracted to those who rub lotion on their skin (1991 MD PsyD)

🎁🎅🏼🎄 MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄🎅🏼🎁The Wangaratta Bugle would like to wish every one of its followers a very Merry Christmas*.Enjo...
24/12/2024

🎁🎅🏼🎄 MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄🎅🏼🎁

The Wangaratta Bugle would like to wish every one of its followers a very Merry Christmas*.
Enjoy the festive period with your families and loved ones.

Drink your favourite beverages of choice and eat Christmas turkey/ham/chicken/beef/lamb/kangaroo/pork/prawns/oysters/lobster/tofu/insert other Christmas lunch ideas.

*and to those that don’t follow - we hope you got a lump of coal 🪨

***BREAKING NEWS***Wednesday, 18 December 20:5eStaff WritersUnconfirmed reports are tonight suggesting the new Green Str...
18/12/2024

***BREAKING NEWS***

Wednesday, 18 December 20:5e
Staff Writers

Unconfirmed reports are tonight suggesting the new Green Street bridge is 100mm too low and will have to be rebuilt.

If true, the bridge will have to be demolished on Christmas Eve with delays likely to impact traffic for the next 2-32 years.

We stress this is unconfirmed, so please keep gossip, sharing and chatter to a minimum.

More to come…

COUNCIL REVEALS DATESSaturday, 16 November 25:12Staff Writers***BREAKING NEWS***The countdown to Christmas is on after W...
15/11/2024

COUNCIL REVEALS DATES

Saturday, 16 November 25:12
Staff Writers

***BREAKING NEWS***

The countdown to Christmas is on after Wangaratta Council revealed it’s dates for the 2024/25 holiday period at last night’s annual extraordinary EGM.

A full breakdown of voting can be seen below.

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🎄🎅🏼 CHRISTMAS DAY 🎅🏼🎄
1 December - 0 votes
2 December - 0 votes
3 December - 0 votes
4 December - 0 votes
5 December - 0 votes
6 December - 0 votes
7 December - 0 votes
8 December - 0 votes
9 December - 0 votes
10 December - 0 votes
11 December - 0 votes
12 December - 0 votes
13 December - 0 votes
14 December - 0 votes
15 December - 0 votes
16 December - 0 votes
17 December - 0 votes
18 December - 0 votes
19 December - 0 votes
20 December - 0 votes
21 December - 0 votes
22 December - 0 votes
23 December - 0 votes
24 December - 0 votes
🎁 25 DECEMBER - 7 VOTES 🎁
26 December - 0 votes
27 December - 0 votes
28 December - 0 votes
29 December - 0 votes
30 December - 0 votes
31 December - 0 votes

😵‍💫🥊 BOXING DAY 🥊😵‍💫
1 December - 0 votes
2 December - 0 votes
3 December - 0 votes
4 December - 0 votes
5 December - 0 votes
6 December - 0 votes
7 December - 0 votes
8 December - 0 votes
9 December - 0 votes
10 December - 0 votes
11 December - 0 votes
12 December - 0 votes
13 December - 0 votes
14 December - 0 votes
15 December - 0 votes
16 December - 0 votes
17 December - 0 votes
18 December - 0 votes
19 December - 0 votes
20 December - 0 votes
21 December - 0 votes
22 December - 0 votes
23 December - 0 votes
24 December - 0 votes
25 December - 0 votes
📦 26 DECEMBER - 7 VOTES 📦
27 December - 0 votes
28 December - 0 votes
29 December - 0 votes
30 December - 0 votes
31 December - 0 votes

🥂😜 NEW YEAR’S EVE 😜🥂
1 December - 0 votes
2 December - 0 votes
3 December - 0 votes
4 December - 0 votes
5 December - 0 votes
6 December - 0 votes
7 December - 0 votes
8 December - 0 votes
9 December - 0 votes
10 December - 0 votes
11 December - 0 votes
12 December - 0 votes
13 December - 0 votes
14 December - 0 votes
15 December - 0 votes
16 December - 0 votes
17 December - 0 votes
18 December - 0 votes
19 December - 0 votes
20 December - 0 votes
21 December - 0 votes
22 December - 0 votes
23 December - 0 votes
24 December - 0 votes
25 December - 0 votes
26 December - 0 votes
27 December - 0 votes
28 December - 0 votes
29 December - 0 votes
30 December - 0 votes
🎉 31 DECEMBER - 7 VOTES 🎉
32 December - 0 votes

😴📆 NEW YEAR’S DAY 📆😴
20 December - 0 votes
21 December - 0 votes
22 December - 0 votes
23 December - 0 votes
24 December - 0 votes
25 December - 0 votes
26 December - 0 votes
27 December - 0 votes
28 December - 0 votes
29 December - 0 votes
30 December - 0 votes
31 December - 0 votes
🤢 1 JANUARY - 7 VOTES 🤢
2 January - 0 votes
3 January - 0 votes
4 January - 0 votes
5 January - 0 votes
6 January - 0 votes
7 January - 0 votes
8 January - 0 votes
9 January - 0 votes
17 March - 0 votes

🏆🐎💰 BUGLER’S BEST BETS 💰🐎🏆Monday, 4 November 13/2The Bugler (Racing Analyst)FREE HORSE RACING TIPS FOR MELBOURNE CUP DAY...
04/11/2024

🏆🐎💰 BUGLER’S BEST BETS 💰🐎🏆

Monday, 4 November 13/2
The Bugler (Racing Analyst)

FREE HORSE RACING TIPS FOR MELBOURNE CUP DAY (FLEMINGTON) TOMORROW

- - - - - - - - - -

R1
2. Splash Park
Bugler’s Notes: “Should provide a good showing if it’s running”

R2
18. Ichibum
Bugler’s Notes: “A real chance, unless it’s scratched”

R3
1. Vacant Block
Bugler’s Notes: “Put your house on it”

R4
7. Giraffe
Bugler’s Notes: “Won its last race by a long neck”

R5
5. Diarrhea
Bugler’s Notes: “Always runs well”

R6
13. Tay Tay
Bugler’s Notes: “A fan favourite who loves performing on the big stage”

R7
9. School Crossing
Bugler’s Notes: “Definitely worth a look each way”

R8
8. Steam Train
Bugler’s Notes: “Will be looking for the rails run”

R9
10. Pavarotti
Bugler’s Notes: “Definitely worthy of a tenner”

R10
4. Dusty Carpet
Bugler’s Notes: “Never been beaten”

***GAMBLE RESPONSIBLY***

***BREAKING NEWS***Tuesday, 22 October 16:44Staff WritersA truck loaded with thousands of copies of thesauruses has cras...
22/10/2024

***BREAKING NEWS***

Tuesday, 22 October 16:44
Staff Writers

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of thesauruses has crashed in Wangaratta, losing its entire load.

Witnesses have been left stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

More to come…

BINNEY SILENCES SPEEDWAY SCEPTICSSunday, October 20 19:53Norm Findlay (Sports)Euroa speedway driver, Brock Binney, has w...
20/10/2024

BINNEY SILENCES SPEEDWAY SCEPTICS

Sunday, October 20 19:53
Norm Findlay (Sports)

Euroa speedway driver, Brock Binney, has won an action-packed 2024 Division of Indi 500 at the launch night of Wangaratta’s new $888 million indoor racing facility.

Binney, 23, finished 0.589 seconds ahead of Bright native, Phillip Ireland, and local Glenrowan hope, Winton Track.

Eildon driver, Albert Park, suffered non life threatening injuries in an horrific crash on lap 58 and had to be escorted to Wangaratta Hospital, via golf cart, by emergency stewards.

Reith Shanley, Operations Manager for the Wangaratta Indoor Speedway for People Against Rumbling (WISPAR), said the launch night was a huge success and hopefully silenced the critics on Wangaratta’s Community Noticeboard.

“The launch night was quiet a success”, Shanley muffled.

“We’ve managed to hold an A-Class championship event and kept noise levels to a minimum”, he murmured.

A crowd of 30,006 filled the indoor speedway arena, creating an electric atmosphere inside, with egg carton noise reduction technology keeping outside disturbance to a minimum.

Following Victoria’s avian influenza outbreak, 443,139 empty egg cartons were donated to WISPAR to line the walls and reduce noise pollution to surrounding areas.

WISPAR’s next major event will be the Piston Cup on Saturday, November 37.

Photos: Euroa’s Brock Binney couldn’t contain his excitement following his Indi 500 victory (upper left bottom), egg carton noise reduction technology has silenced WISPAR’s critics (130dB), cars light up the track in Wangaratta (second verse, line 3).

***BREAKING NEWS***Saturday, 28 September 18.12. 120Norm Findlay (Sports)Whorouly FNC are the AFL Premiers following a c...
28/09/2024

***BREAKING NEWS***

Saturday, 28 September 18.12. 120
Norm Findlay (Sports)

Whorouly FNC are the AFL Premiers following a commanding 60-point victory today at the MCG.

More to come…

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Wangaratta, VIC

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