19/06/2024
This is going to be a long post –clear warning! Cooking dinner tonight, I glanced at the New York Subway jigsaw on my fridge, and I realised it’s exactly 9 years since my life changed. You see, I'd been studying law as an off-campus student at Deakin University and quite frankly, I wanted some excitement. Here I was doing my placement at Social Services Rights Victoria (in Fitzroy - that’s another story) (over 3 hours travel each way!). My lunch break changed my life. I can still see the park where I read it -a study tour to New York. I seriously did not care what the subject matter was. I just wanted to go to New York. After all. I had spent my whole life's dancing New York, NY and if you can't make it there, you can't make it anywhere.
So, on this day, thanks to Deakin University I had the most extraordinary experience that changed my life. The first day I arose early and realised we were located in the court sector – New York Supreme Court etc but seeing Lafayette Street blew my mind. I had self-taught his impact in American history as a 21-year-old mother. The first day couldn't have been more out of the script than anyone could have imagined. We actually went into the Supreme Court building that you often see on television series or on the news. But to cut to the chase; I haven't told you the name of the study tour. It was International Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR). The next few days we spent at JAMS. Resolution. Centre on the 34th, floor of the. New York Times Building. The next two weeks we were immersed in such amazing experiences at other institutions including the UN.
I'm now an accredited Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner, and yes, I am a lawyer, but I don't give advice. I'm now fulfilling my dream assisting people away from the courts, the drama, the expenses, stress and in other words, all the **** that goes along with it.
Being a private practitioner allows me the freedom to spend time with parents to help them to work out, as separated parents, what is best for the children. It's bloody hard work. Would I recommend anybody to go into this? Maybe. But I will never forget the day on the 34th floor of the New York Times building when I was so obviously the oldest (I was in my late 60s) when the facilitator commented that a mediator does not just bring learning to the table – life experiences cannot be under-estimated - and my God do I qualify for that. So, having completed my training, firstly as a mediator and then as a family dispute resolution practitioner, I realise I have my own unique style. I spend a lot of time before the mediation with parties trying to build the relationship, whether it be family, neighbours, community so that they at least can communicate. They don’t have to physically talk to each other; they just need to be able to communicate with each other. Nobody questions why my pre-conference fees are the same as the mediation but thanks to JAMS in New York, I know that mediation is more than just sit down in a session; you can't separate conciliation. The conciliation process is, in my mind, far more important and far more effective.
Now, if you’ve read so far, what do you think about my fridge magnets?
Marlene Rita ❤️
Gobetween Mediation
