Hawa K. Bond - Innerventions

07/10/2024

𝗜𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗱?

I once read an article about how bicycle chains were used on the ankles of baby circus elephants to teach helplessness. As they grew older, they had the power to escape, but their brains were conditioned to believe the chain was holding them.

About two years ago, I read a post by a 23-year old woman who was raised by her aunt starting at the age of 9. She has no idea how to “escape” the aunt who doesn’t allow her to have friends, drive (her own!) car, or even have a job. The young woman is living in a jail with no bars and no guards. She’s free to escape but calling out to us for help on ‘how to leave and start living her own life right now.’ Like the elephant, she doesn’t realize she can snap her chains and simply walk away.

These stories remind me of the learned helplessness many can experience as an effect of Generational C̵u̵r̵s̵e̵ Dysfunction. The powerless feeling is a mirage – and a convenient one for the crabs snapping at your ankles from the bottom of the barrel.

𝗔𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝗮𝗱𝘂𝗹𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆… 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻.

Do you have the AUDACITY to take it back?

https://www.hawabond.com/general-interest-call

21/09/2024

“If everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light.” ~Rumi 😘

13/09/2024

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟴𝟲 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗵𝗼𝗹, 𝘀𝘂𝗴𝗮𝗿, 𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁/𝗴𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗻.

For as long as I have been a student of healing... you would think nothing new turns my head or raises my eyebrow. But I'm only on Episode 3 of this series... and... WOW. They're airing one episode per day until they're all out and then it costs to watch. I believe there will be nine (9) in total. Get in now for daily emails to watch for free.

I actually cried during Episode 2 as I had a moment of deep innerstanding of just how far we've drifted from our natural design. Just the act of touching the raw ingredients to prepare your own food is a divine experience that changes the way you digest it. Even the low-nutritional foods are received better when prepared at home as opposed to sourced from Uber Eats. It's not always just about the ingredients. 🙌🏾

I don't know how this docu-series landed in my lap, but I'm grateful.

Episode 3: Cooking for Immunity – Strengthening Defenses with Flavorful Fare Airing Here until Friday the 13th of September at 9:00 pm ET Please help us share this powerful healing information with your friends and family – they’ll thank you for it! Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Need Help...

24/08/2024

Every tear in the fabric of your family can’t be mended. That’s the cost of coming from dysfunction – you can’t always recover in the eyes of someone you hurt. It’s part of the reality on how dysfunction becomes generational.

There was a time I was a TERRIBLY unaware parent. I only knew dysfunction. No malice. No negative intent. Just moving in unhealthy patterns without a lighthouse or a beacon. I even endured almost two solid years of deep depression. It was a chore just to rise out of bed. You may not mean any harm, but children are absolutely harmed by observing such conditions.

Wounded people make terrible parents. Your best is NOT enough. Our children suffer when we don’t know better. Mine sure did.

Today, I am a transitioned woman – starting with a radical decision I made a loooooooong time ago. I’m a 180-degree-turn from the dysfunction that shaped me. The work it took to achieve that was brutal in every way – including the realization that I may always be viewed through a painful lens by people I love the most.

You may be trapped inside a filter through which someone sees you. Their cognitive function with regards to you makes you a villain in their story – a negativity bias you will not overcome.

Being a genuinely good person, and even further - a healed person - doesn’t excuse you from the payment you owe for the old version of you that your children had to endure. Don’t be too proud to pay your bills by admitting you were once a whole problem. Nobody escapes spiritual law. Accept the debt and keep going. Just admitting you were once a clown in that old family circus is the beginning of the most important work you’ll ever do in your life.

Really… if everyone is just a victim of the family pattern, then where are all the perpetrators? My entire ministry is about checking the mirror and healing what you see in the reflection. It’s entirely possible. Ask me how I know.

So what’s your next move?

17/08/2024

𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗮 𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺. Some of you can’t outrun Generational Dysfunction because you keep inviting people who mirror the madness of your family to dine at your table.

You can change the seating. At will. For ANYONE. You’re the architect. 𝗬𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘀𝘂𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴.

What’s your next move?

19/04/2024

When I speak about accountability in parenting, I often get responses from triggered parents who talk about ungrateful adult children who just don’t understand yadda yadda yadda. The worst ones project and insert things I never stated. ( ) Here’s a tip:

If you came from dysfunction, you likely weren’t at your best when your children needed you to be. I know I wasn’t. You had traits and proclivities you likely didn’t realize that mirrored your dysfunctional upbringing.

As a parent, your intent may have been good, but you failed in ex*****on. It’s like a chef with a perfect recipe (good intent) who burns the meal (ex*****on) and serves it anyway.

Our children can’t and don’t live off our intent. They live according to how they experience our ex*****on in real time. Just because you loved them doesn’t mean you were successful in delivering what they needed most: Being seen, feeling safe, and being sufficiently supported.

You may not like the reality that you traumatized your children and the relationship you have with them now reflects the rightful distrust they have of your ability to execute. Apologizing to them is only the beginning of restoring trust. The rest is an arduous process of accepting, not defending, the past reality of your dismal performance at key times. Ask me how I know.

I have two generations of living, breathing receipts that redemption is possible. What’s your next move?


Dysfunction

30/03/2024

I didn’t really have any grandparents to speak of, except my father’s father. I absolutely adored my grandfather although I don’t recall seeing him very much. Even given that circumstance, it was obvious to little me that grandpop adored me back.

I remember spending a week with him and Miss Fannie one summer in a cozy little Virginia home I learned 𝑤𝑎𝑠𝑛'𝑡 the home where my father grew up… and Miss Fannie wasn’t 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 my grandmother. My blood paternal grandmother lived nearby in another quaint little home where my father grew up, and she was as sweet as she was mentally ill.

When my grandfather died, I was 11 years old and waiting for him to come visit us in NJ after my parents purchased their first home. I was devastated because I wanted nothing more than for my grandfather to see we had a huge yard and to share a burger from the grill – something my family could never do from our little apartment in Atlantic City. I cried some of the most bitter tears of my life and had nightmares for weeks after losing the one family member I wholly trusted at the time.

Funny thing is, I recently found my dad’s grandparents (both sets) and other extended family on Ancestry [dot] com. He looked shocked. He didn’t even know who they were.

When families are fractured in a storm of Generational Madness, the children suffer the most. At one point, I had three living grandparents, 7 living aunts and uncles, and a host of cousins – none of which I knew. And with grandpop gone, I felt alone on an island without a lifeline. I had an entire family but no extended refuge families should provide. The reasons were vast and deeply unfortunate.

𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐃𝐲𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 💩 𝐬𝐡.𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐮𝐬.

06/03/2024

Some of you are struggling to heal family relationships because you’re slowly dying by the sword you openly choose to live by. You’re judging family members for their 𝒂𝙘𝒕𝙞𝒐𝙣𝒔 while you want to be judged by your 𝙞𝒏𝙩𝒆𝙣𝒕. You want a level of grace for your shortcomings that you’re not willing to give as the proper payment per karmic law.

For all of the times you didn’t show up as your best self with a “yeah… but…,” you failed to show compassion for the “well… buts…” coming your way. It’s astounding how often we fail to see ourselves as mirror reflections of the things we claim to hate.

And don’t be the hit-dog showing your hand in the comments. We all know this doesn’t apply to family members who are openly abusing you. But beware of your proclivity to be the proverbial pot calling the kettle black.

24/02/2024

Some will never stand in their power to reverse Generational Chaos because they fail to recognize their own dysfunction.

If your family presented you with a mountain of dysfunction during your formative years, you learned how to replicate those destructive patterns without any real awareness. You continued to live by your survival methods. Unfortunately, that autopilot can leave you stuck for DECADES with the dry bones of your conditioning hiding in your blind spots.

From age 0-7, you were a prolific sponge. Your brain was super absorbent. During that time (and beyond), you were conditioned by your family patterns. You developed your own methods to survive the madness you couldn’t control.

But if it’s blind… how do you know??? Well… How do you relate to your parents? How do you relate to your children? How do your children relate to YOU? How do you get along with your partners? Friends? What’s your stress level like? Do you feel like a “victim” of life? Are you relaxed and at ease during family functions – or do you stay on alert for “drama.” If you keep running into durable and repeatable challenges in these areas, check for the scripts running under the surface. You’ll start to uncover the patterns hiding in plain sight.

It’s time to GET EXCITED about asking yourself intentional questions about your core beliefs – about any undesirable results you keep experiencing. Where do they stem from? What’s at the ROOT?! Why do I choose how I choose? Move the way I move? It doesn’t take an eternity to change your entire world – just some real moments of targeted exploration.

What’s your next move?

18/02/2024

Some of you struggle to heal because you actually don’t know who you are. Can you tell me about you… the REAL you… aside from your roles and your job – and aside from the things you DO? Can you tell me who you are besides a mom/dad, son/daughter, nurse/mechanic, Christian/Muslim, African American/Caucasian, Baptist/Catholic? Can you tell me who you are aside from the pain and trauma others inflicted onto you. WHO ARE YOU?

You’re so attached to your worldly mask and to the point at which you were traumatized, you haven’t even met the YOU you’re trying to return to.

Tell me about the version of YOU that you hope to recover and I’ll show you a person ready to blossom.

And when you make your declaration, start with, “Now let me reintroduce myself…” 💪🏾 🙌🏾

I love y'all... fo'real.

14/02/2024

The hardest part of choosing to heal from generational patterns is fully owning your own accountability. It feels like going from being wrongfully harmed as a child to being blamed for your own trauma as an adult. Believe me when I say… I GET IT.

The patterns from which you must escape were installed like software when you were young. The scripts run under the surface, leaving massive blind spots lurking in the shadows of your beliefs, choices, and conditioning.

Your children are some of the BEST mirrors that aim into those spaces and reflect back what you need to see. If you’re not careful, you’ll see some of those reflections as disrespect, bad behavior, defiance, or something to be punished. You won’t see the opportunity to be accountable for what you’ve passed on to your seed.

The best way to start your own innervention is to remember the times the adults in your family labeled you when you just wanted to be valued, believed, seen, heard, validated, and LOVED. You were the mirror in their lives and they missed the chance to grow and heal from what you reflected back to them.

Understand?