06/06/2026
I’m finna go in…. Shorty sell 🐱 and believes in them zodiac signs, has a plaque from Planned Parenthood with 100 visits in 1 year (Guinness record) and a lifetime sponsorship from Plan B. Shawty got “Love Yourself” tattooed on her side but out here letting mfffffzzzz named DeShawn, Rico, and Chad treat her like a free trial. Shawty say she “too pretty to work” but her car got more lights on than a Christmas tree and she one missed payment away from the repo man coming to tuck her Altima in for good. Shawty be talking bout “energy don’t lie” but somehow keep getting cheated on back-to-back like a 2K losing streak. Shawty only drink Casamigos and cries about guyz she barely knows. Shawty talking bout “I just attract toxic guyz” like she ain’t the one choosing them. Shawty think Sage finna cleanse her soul but she need holy water and a financial advisor. Shorty got her rent sponsored by Zelle transactions and late-night “wyd” texts. She swear she “wifey material” but can’t even boil water without setting off the sm*ke alarm. Shawty got a Prada bag but no bed frame. Shawty talking bout “if he wanted to, he would” but meanwhile shawty sleeping on an air mattress waiting for her EDD deposit to hit. Her ideal date is h**kah, bottle service, and making another bad decision. Shawty got 15k followers but can’t name 3 real friends. Shawty mama done raised a daughter and a grandbaby in the same year. Shawty swear she “don’t need a man” but got five in her DMs ready to pay her light bill. She at the club every weekend but asking for gasss money on Monday. Shawty telling the world she “healing” but got three situationships, an ex she still texting “wyd” at 2AM, and a new dude she calling “my man” after two dates. Shawty the type to post “loyalty over everything” while texting her side piece from her man’s phone bill.
