19/08/2025
Thea Khama - "𝑰𝒏 𝑩𝒐𝒕𝒔𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒂, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒊. 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒍𝒚 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 (𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔) 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒖𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒂, 𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒙𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 𝑪𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚—𝒐𝒇 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒈𝒆."
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💔In leadership and in life, apologies without action are empty currency.
🤝 Restoring trust requires more than words—it requires a commitment to do differently and the willingness to make reparations where harm was caused.
There is a great discrepancy between how we often speak of forgiveness, acceptance, and love—and how we engage with accountability, trust, and reparative action. Forgiveness helps us release bitterness so we can move forward with lighter hearts.
🔑 However, our forgiveness does not absolve the one who caused harm of their responsibility.
🦋 True transformation is measured not by how eloquently one can say “sorry,” but by whether they restore what was broken, heal what was lost, or at least attempt to repair the damage.
⚖️ Anyone can say they are sorry—even for the shallowest of reasons. But the one who has been harmed is not obliged to accept that apology in order to appear “the better person” or to retain “grace.” They have every right to request meaningful, personal, or even public reparation from the one who claims to be remorseful. ( Think back to South Africa’s Truth & Reconciliation It provided a platform for victims to share their stories and for perpetrators to seek amnesty in exchange for full disclosure. The TRC's work was guided by the principle of restorative justice, aiming to heal rather than punish.)
✨ For example: A person may forgive someone who caused the loss of livelihood, reputation, or even life—not because the act was excusable, but because holding onto bitterness would destroy their own spirit. Yet forgiveness does not erase the perpetrator’s accountability, nor their obligation to repair trust, restore justice, or make amends where possible.
This holds true not only on a personal level, but also within the collective.
🇧🇼 In Botswana, the Bangwato tribe and elders were shamelessly and unconstitutionally threatened by the previous government under Masisi. They were publicly prevented from peacefully meeting at the seat of their culturally democratic ancestral tribal meeting ground (as has been their tradition for centuries) to discuss their own agenda, tied to the persecution and exile of their Paramount Chief and his family—of which I am a part through marriage.
An apology to such a people, without genuine accountability or reparative steps, would remain hollow.
🌱 A Practical Exercise (from Consciousness Coaching training):
When one says “sorry,” it is not enough to leave it vague or hollow. A conscious apology is structured with:
1. Specific ownership → “I am sorry for [state specifics].”
2. Acknowledgment & request → “Can you forgive me for [X]?”
3. Commitment to change → “I submit that from here on I will [state how you intend to make up for the hurt, damage, or loss].”
4. Openness to repair → “Is there anything else I can do to make up for any damage caused?”
Evolution is not in the apology—it is in the lived commitment to change, repair, and rebuild what was harmed. This is where true integrity, leadership, and transformation are revealed—whether in our personal lives or in the soul of a nation.
🙏 I simply ask each of you who reads this to kindly allow this distinction and awareness into your own lives and the into how, when, and where you give or receive apologies. It has little to do with one’s ability to forgive and one should not necessarily need a direct apology in order to forgive and experience grace. However, an apology of substance can make it so much easier!
Love 💕always, Thea
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