11/21/2025
I almost forgot what this part of the journey feels like. This relentless stage of growth spurts, constant crying, and total restlessness that leaves you physically drained and mentally defeated.
We're talking full-blown exhaustion, the moments where you feel dumb, a failure, and genuinely wonder what you’re doing wrong. Depression is real, and the loneliness can be crushing.
When I went through this the first time, back in the Philippines 🇵🇭, I had a village. Family, friends—help was always around the corner.
Now? It's just us. Alvin is at work, Aeden is at school. And sometimes, my exhaustion and mounting stress spill over... straight onto my older boy. (I know, I know—wrong).
The guilt is immediate and heavy. But every time I apologize for snapping, his answer is always the same: "It’s okay Mom, I understand." 😭 That empathy breaks me.
I completely understand why so many immigrant families bring their parents over for support. I envy the village they have. It’s not a knock on my amazing mom—I’m so proud of her and all she does—but the support system here is just different.
I feel like a first-time mom all over again. Alvin is doing his best to provide and help, but I have my moments where I feel like I am failing at my most important job. I'm only three weeks in, and it’s truly just the beginning.
To anyone else in the trenches of infant care right now: You are not alone. This is a marathon, not a sprint, and it’s okay to not be okay. ❤️