The Caregivers Podcast

The Caregivers Podcast The cost & courage of caring - stories that spark resilience.

06/16/2026

Estrangement, aging parents, end of life, and the pressure to reconcile.
Guest: Dr. Joshua Coleman, psychologist and author, in conversation with Dr. Mark on The Caregivers Podcast.

When an estranged parent is near the end of life, the pressure to reconcile can feel enormous.

Dr. Joshua Coleman says it can create an opening for repair, but it can also create pressure.

His advice is to think about how you may feel later.

One year from now.
Two years from now.
Ten years after they are gone.

Not every relationship can be repaired. But when time is running out, it may help to ask what you will be able to live with later.

If this clip resonated with you, the full conversation goes much deeper into caregiving, estrangement, aging parents, reconciliation, family obligation, and what adult children owe their parents.
Listen to the full episode for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. The link is in the video comments.

06/16/2026

When an estranged parent is near the end of life, the pressure to reconcile can feel enormous.

For some adult children, it may be a real opening.

A chance to speak.
A chance to say goodbye.
A chance to make amends, or at least leave less unsaid.

For others, it can feel like another demand. Another expectation to take care of the parent emotionally, even after years of distance, hurt, or conflict.

In this clip from The Caregivers Podcast, Dr. Joshua Coleman talks with Dr. Mark about the difference between repair and pressure.

He suggests looking beyond the emotion of the moment.

How do you think you will feel one year from now?
Two years from now?
Ten years after they are gone?

That question matters because immediate feelings are not always the best guide.

This does not mean every estrangement should end at the deathbed. It does not mean every adult child should ignore their own history or safety.

It means the decision deserves more than pressure.

It deserves the future version of you in the room too.

Guest: Dr. Joshua Coleman, psychologist and author, in conversation with Dr. Mark on The Caregivers Podcast.

If this post resonated with you, the full conversation goes much deeper into caregiving, estrangement, aging parents, reconciliation, family obligation, and what adult children owe their parents.
Listen to the full episode for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. The link is in the video comments.

06/15/2026

Caregiving, aging parents, estrangement, and the limits of family duty.
Guest: Dr. Joshua Coleman, psychologist and author, in conversation with Dr. Mark on The Caregivers Podcast.

Do adult children owe care to a parent who hurt them?

Dr. Joshua Coleman says the quality of the relationship matters.

If a parent was abusive or neglectful throughout a child's life, he does not believe the adult child is automatically obligated to bring that parent into their home and become their caregiver.

But he also says compassion and concern may still have a place.

This is one of the hardest caregiving questions families face.

If this clip resonated with you, the full conversation goes much deeper into caregiving, estrangement, aging parents, family obligation, abuse, resentment, and what adult children owe their parents.
Listen to the full episode for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. The link is in the video comments.

06/15/2026

Do adult children owe care to a parent who hurt them?

That is one of the hardest questions in family caregiving.

In this clip from The Caregivers Podcast, Dr. Joshua Coleman speaks with Dr. Mark about whether children are obligated to care for aging parents simply because those parents gave them life.

His answer makes room for the relationship itself.

If a parent was abusive or neglectful throughout a child's life, he does not believe the adult child is automatically obligated to bring that parent into their home and become their caregiver.

At the same time, he says there may still be some obligation to express concern.

That distinction matters.

Concern is not the same as taking someone into your home.
Compassion is not the same as sacrificing your own safety.
Family duty is not separate from family history.

Dr. Coleman also warns that not every painful family conflict should automatically be treated as abuse. Some estrangements, in his view, may come from ordinary disappointment, conflict, character flaws, or mistakes that deserve more empathy and resilience.

That is what makes this conversation difficult.

Some adult children are protecting themselves from real harm.
Some aging parents are living with the pain of estrangement.
Some families are trying to decide what care, distance, compassion, and responsibility can look like when the relationship has been painful for years.

Guest: Dr. Joshua Coleman, psychologist and author, in conversation with Dr. Mark on The Caregivers Podcast.

If this post resonated with you, the full conversation goes much deeper into caregiving, estrangement, aging parents, family obligation, abuse, resentment, and what adult children owe their parents.
Listen to the full episode for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. The link is in the video comments.

06/14/2026

Sibling conflict, caregiving, family roles, and the burden of carrying parent care.
Guest: Amy Vasterling, author and public speaker, in conversation with Dr. Mark on The Caregivers Podcast.

One of the hardest parts of caregiving is when siblings do not share the load.

Amy Vasterling says old family roles often return under stress.

The favorite child.
The scapegoat.
The sibling doing the work.
The sibling saying the most.

When a parent needs care, those roles can become louder.

The person carrying the responsibility may be criticized by people who are not actually helping.

That can make caregiving even more isolating.

If this clip resonated with you, the full conversation goes much deeper into caregiving, sibling conflict, family roles, boundaries, guilt, and parent care.
Listen to the full episode for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. The link is in the video comments.

06/14/2026

One of the biggest breaking points in caregiving is when siblings do not share the load.

The painful part is that the person doing the least can sometimes have the loudest voice.

In this clip from The Caregivers Podcast, Amy Vasterling talks with Dr. Mark about why siblings raised in the same home can have such different ideas about what they owe each other and what they owe their parents.

Her answer is family roles.

The favorite child.
The scapegoat.
The one who performs concern.
The one who carries responsibility.

Under stress, those roles often come back.

Caregiving can make them impossible to ignore.

The scapegoat may still be blamed or talked about behind their back. The favored child may talk about how much they do while someone else is carrying most of the care.

That kind of dynamic is not just frustrating. It can become isolating and toxic for the caregiver who is already exhausted.

Caregiving does not only test who can help.

It also reveals the old family patterns that never really went away.

Guest: Amy Vasterling, author and public speaker, in conversation with Dr. Mark on The Caregivers Podcast.

If this post resonated with you, the full conversation goes much deeper into caregiving, sibling conflict, family roles, boundaries, guilt, and parent care.
Listen to the full episode for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. The link is in the video comments.

06/14/2026

Caregiver burnout, self-abandonment, and the cost of being treated like an extension of the patient.
Guest: Kate Washington, author of Already Toast and Midstream, in conversation with Dr. Mark on The Caregivers Podcast.

Kate Washington says even caring for herself was framed as a way to keep caring for him.

Like an oil change so the car can keep getting you to work.

Many caregivers know that feeling.

Your exhaustion matters only because it might stop you from providing care. Your needs are acknowledged only when they affect the patient.

Kate says burnout and self-abandonment can become closely linked.

If you are not sleeping, losing yourself, becoming irritable, and feeling constant frustration, it may be time to reassess how you are living inside the caregiving role.

If this clip resonated with you, the full conversation goes much deeper into marriage, caregiving, burnout, self-abandonment, guilt, and what happens when one spouse becomes the caregiver.
Listen to the full episode for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. The link is in the video comments.

06/14/2026

Kate Washington says she was already completely burned out.

Even caring for herself did not really feel like caring for herself. It was framed as maintenance so she could keep caring for him.

Like an oil change so the car can keep getting you to work.

Many caregivers know what that feels like.

You are expected to keep going.
You are expected to manage your own exhaustion.
You are expected to care for yourself just enough to remain useful.

Kate describes caregivers as sometimes being seen as an inconvenient but necessary appendage to the patient.

That is a painful thing to name, but it will feel familiar to a lot of people.

In this clip from The Caregivers Podcast, Dr. Mark asks Kate how you know when staying in the caregiver role is no longer love, but self-abandonment.

Kate links it closely to burnout.

Not sleeping. Drinking more. Giving up the things that used to help. Losing your interests. Becoming short with people. Feeling constant frustration. Having no loving energy left because you are already pulled to the brink.

That does not always mean leaving the caregiving relationship.

It may mean reassessing how you are living inside it.

Guest: Kate Washington, author of Already Toast and Midstream, in conversation with Dr. Mark on The Caregivers Podcast.

If this post resonated with you, the full conversation goes much deeper into marriage, caregiving, burnout, self-abandonment, guilt, and what happens when one spouse becomes the caregiver.
Listen to the full episode for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. The link is in the video comments.

06/13/2026

Caregiver burnout, sleep loss, stress, and the physical toll of caregiving.
Guest: Kate Washington, author of Already Toast and Midstream, in conversation with Dr. Mark on The Caregivers Podcast.

Caregiving can hurt your health too.

Kate Washington talks about the physical toll: poor sleep, constant stress, missed meals, skipped appointments, hospital waiting, medication schedules, and lifting or transferring someone without enough training.

Many caregivers are watching someone else so closely that they stop taking care of themselves.

Sleeping with one eye open is not rest.

If this clip resonated with you, the full conversation goes much deeper into marriage, caregiving, burnout, health, guilt, and what happens when one spouse becomes the caregiver.
Listen to the full episode for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. The link is in the video comments.

06/13/2026

Kate Washington talks about the physical toll of extreme caregiving: disrupted sleep, constant stress, missed meals, skipped appointments, hospital waiting, medication schedules, and the strain of helping someone move without enough training.

A caregiver may be giving medication every six hours, which means they are not sleeping through the night.

They may sit beside a hospital bed for hours, afraid to leave because the doctor might come while they are gone.

They may skip lunch, avoid going to the bathroom, miss their own doctor visits, or injure themselves while trying to keep someone else safe.

This is part of caregiving that does not get talked about enough.

Caregivers are often asked to do demanding medical and physical care with very little training and almost no room for their own recovery.

Sleeping with one eye open is not rest.

Guest: Kate Washington, author of Already Toast and Midstream, in conversation with Dr. Mark on The Caregivers Podcast.

If this post resonated with you, the full conversation goes much deeper into marriage, caregiving, burnout, health, guilt, and what happens when one spouse becomes the caregiver.
Listen to the full episode for free on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. The link is in the video comments.

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