09/16/2025
Coming soon…..
Christmas in Pandemonium
by John “Jack” Willems
Southern Gothic · Holiday Horror · Theological Satire
One town. Two truths. And one line that divides it all. Welcome to Pandemonium, a snow-drenched island off the Carolina coast where the town square is split by a sacred Line. On the north side, puritanical Protestants decorate their churches with nativity scenes and stick to Scripture. On the south side, Satanic Temple members hang upside-down candy canes and perform solstice rituals under neon-lit spires. A brick line quite literally separates the divine from the damned… or so the locals claim. Into this wintry absurdity walks Father Gabe Strobel, a Catholic priest assigned to a forgotten church on the wrong side of town. He’s tasked with rebuilding a congregation, but what he uncovers is a town built on centuries of superstition, guilt, and conveniently forgotten history. As the town prepares for its most commercialized and chaotic holiday season yet, secrets buried beneath the snow begin to thaw. And something is coming for them all. A Holiday Novel Unlike Any Other Christmas in Pandemonium is not about saving Christmas, it’s about what happens when Christmas is used to cover the rot beneath the wreaths. With sharp prose, biting satire, and a surprising dose of heart, John Willems dissects small-town theology, late-stage capitalism, and inherited guilt through the lens of theological horror and cosmic weirdness. The novel reads like a gospel written by a man who’s seen too much, equal parts Good Omens, Lamb, and Midnight Mass, yet wholly original in voice and vision. This is not your mother’s Hallmark holiday tale. This is a book that will make you laugh, wince, and possibly call your pastor in the middle of the night.
Why We Published It: At I Ain’t Your Marionette Press, we believe in stories that don’t behave, and Christmas in Pandemonium is gloriously disobedient. It’s brave, blasphemous, and brilliant, but never cruel. It pokes fun at the sacred without losing its soul. It delivers horror wrapped in satire, and satire wrapped in snow.This is a book that dares to ask what we worship, why we cling to rituals, and who benefits when God and the Devil are both on payroll.
About the AuthorJohn “Jack” Willems is a published author and practicing attorney living in West Virginia with his wife, Rachel, and their two sons, Francis and Tony. Originally from Arkansas, Jack enjoys reading, writing, playing with his kids, and ranting about pop culture oddities on his blog jaxbooknook.com. He also yells into the digital void on Twitter at . In addition to Christmas in Pandemonium, Jack’s work has appeared in Synthetic Reality Magazine and The Quagmire Magazine. He also released his novella Beer Run through Solstice Publishing. With any luck, and a little time, he’ll have more fantastical mischief to unleash on the world soon. Marie Dawn Moldovan
