06/12/2026
BREAKING NEWS:
Birch has reported a major crisis.
Facebook is down.
After several frantic refreshes, two router reboots, checking the Wi-Fi three times, and questioning all of his life choices, Birch has determined that the problem is definitely not on his end.
Meanwhile, Sunny has absolutely no idea why this happened and would like everyone to stop looking at him.
Coincidentally, witnesses report seeing a beaver in a black coat near a Meta data center moments before the outage.
The investigation continues.