Bundle of Joy Birthwork

07/16/2025

…and because your amygdala quite literally won’t let you. ⁣⁣

A gentle reminder for Birth Trauma Awareness Week.
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The narrative that birth trauma is just an “unpleasant birth experience” or solely due to “unmet expectations” perpetuates the idea that you should simply be able to get over it. As if it were a game or competition that just didn’t go your way. ⁣⁣
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That’s not how trauma works. Trauma is a neurobiological response. Your brain processes trauma memories differently. ⁣
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We know through brain imaging studies that parts of the brain responsible for our memory and fear responses (hippocampus & amygdala) among others, are impacted when individuals experience trauma. ⁣⁣
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The hippocampus is what gives our memories context in time. It’s like it tags each memory with “hey this happened in the past!” And because the hippocampus is often suppressed during trauma, we don’t get that context processed with these memories. ⁣
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Trauma memories continue to live in and infiltrate the present. Even if we cognitively know it happened in the past, our limbic system does not get the message and continues to sound the alarm. It’s trying to protect you from a threat that it perceives still exists in the present. Your brain will not allow you to simply “let go” or “get over” the memory of your birth because it believes if you do, you will be harmed again. ⁣⁣
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We can see these physical changes in the brain. In no other injury do we expect ourselves to just get over it. So, while I absolutely understand your frustration of wanting to just “get over it” I encourage you to ask yourself if you would say the same thing had you been diagnosed with a chronic illness or a broken bone. I encourage you to practice some self-compassion and instead try “Of course you can’t just get over this, you were traumatized. There are changes that have occurred in your brain and it’s going to take time to heal them.” ⁣⁣
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So much of birth trauma and our reaction to it are actually logical responses given what we’ve experienced.
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I want us to approach ourselves with less shame and more empathy. Because that’s truly how we can begin to heal. ⁣

07/01/2025

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06/07/2025

🌟 The Parent’s Guide to Surviving the NICU 🌟
Because no one plans for this journey… but you are not alone. 💜

1️⃣ Take it one hour at a time.
The NICU is a rollercoaster — progress isn’t always linear. Celebrate the small wins, and allow yourself grace on the tough days.

2️⃣ You belong at your baby’s bedside.
You are your baby’s biggest advocate. Never be afraid to ask questions, speak up, and participate in their care — kangaroo care, diaper changes, feedings — every moment matters.

3️⃣ Lean on your support system.
Don’t do this alone. Let family and friends help with meals, rides, housework, and emotional support. Connect with fellow NICU parents — they get it.

4️⃣ Take care of yourself.
Eat. Rest. Cry if you need to. Step outside for a breath of fresh air. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and your baby needs YOU well.

5️⃣ Document the journey.
Take photos, write in a journal, or start a memory box. One day you’ll look back and realize just how far you and your baby have come.

6️⃣ It’s okay to grieve what you expected.
You didn’t picture this path — it’s okay to feel sad, angry, scared, or anything in between. Processing these emotions is healthy and normal.

7️⃣ You are stronger than you think.
NICU parents are warriors. This chapter is hard, but you are capable of more than you ever imagined.

8️⃣ Celebrate YOUR baby’s timeline.
Comparison steals joy. Every NICU baby has their own path. Focus on your baby’s milestones — they are miracles in every sense. 🦋

Sending love to every family walking this path. You are not alone. ❤️‍🩹

06/04/2025

06/03/2025

🫡🏳️‍🌈

06/03/2025

05/29/2025

a gentle reminder for the mom who needs it 🫶🏼

05/28/2025

All three of my kids have been NICU babies. I know no other birth experience but this one. The last few weeks I have been grieving that I'll never have a full term birth or the birth experience I planned for and wanted, while also trying to be positive that although my babies come early they are all born healthy with minimal care needed for their gestational age. It's a tough road to navigate emotionally but I know I will get through this. I am so grateful for my children and although having to leave the hospital without my baby is tough I'm trying to take in all the positives of the NICU that maybe I wouldn't think of if I didn't go through this. Like the amazing and compassionate nurses and doctors that care so deeply about my babies, and the extra rest I am able to take so my body can heal. Last time I was worried I would never get to take my daughter home but this time I know that's not true and when I get home with her it won't matter she spent her first few weeks in the NICU, she'll still be a newborn when we get home, this time is just extra bonus time that I get to spend getting to know her. If you're a NICU/Preemie mom remember to give yourself grace. It's okay to have good and bad days, and it's okay to be grieving what could have been while also being grateful for your little one. 💕

05/23/2025

We talk often about the unique relationship many NICU mamas have with their postpartum bodies. For preemie NICU mamas, it can look like a relationship mixed with gratitude that it was their baby’s first home, and grief that it couldn’t carry their baby full term. For full-term NICU mamas, it can look like a relationship mixed with gratitude that their body was able to carry them full-term, but grief that it wasn’t enough to sustain them immediately after birth.

So sweet mama, tonight we want to remind you that your body did absolutely everything it could to not only protect your baby, but also to protect you. You are a survivor.

Often times in an emergency delivery, the delivery not only saves the baby but it also saves the mother. And when we take a step back, we can see that your body was using all of its resources to try and protect the both of you - both during and after birth. 💕 We know it’s so hard to believe it now, but your body is not against you.

We also know it doesn’t always come natural to thank our bodies and our wombs for what it did during pregnancy. Especially if we are still learning how to speak kindly and compassionately to ourselves. So as a starting point, here is a gentle exercise:

Place your hand on your heart or if you are comfortable, on your womb, and say something like: “Thank you for being my baby’s first home. I know we may have a long ways to go before we are at total peace with each other, but I want to say that I’m sorry for blaming you. I realize that you were not only trying to protect my baby, but you were also trying to protect me. I recognize today that we survived and for that I am grateful. Today I commit to learning how to speak compassionately and kindly to you. We are on the same team.”

As you heal and as you grow, just remember that you are never alone. Your body did not fail. 💕

04/03/2025

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03/07/2025

Pregnancy Discomfort? You Don’t Have to Just Suffer Through It!

Back pain, pelvic pain, sciatica, and round ligament pain are all common during pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean you have to just push through the discomfort.

💆‍♀️ A chiropractor can help align your spine and pelvis, easing pain and even encouraging optimal baby positioning for birth.
👐 A manual osteopath uses gentle, hands-on techniques to relieve tension and improve mobility.
🌿 A pelvic floor therapist can help strengthen and relax your pelvic muscles, reducing pain and preparing your body for birth and recovery.

Pregnancy and postpartum should be supported, not suffered through. Seeking the right care can make all the difference in your comfort and birth experience! 💕

05/13/2024