12/16/2025
Until you heal yourself, youâll be toxic to every person who tries to love you.
That doesnât mean youâre a bad person. It means youâre carrying wounds that were never given the care they deserved. Unhealed pain doesnât stay quiet, it leaks. It shows up as anger when someone is patient with you, distance when someone gets close, control when you feel unsafe, and defensiveness when love asks you to be vulnerable.
When you havenât healed, you may push away the very people who want the best for you. You may test their loyalty, doubt their intentions, or hurt them before they have a chance to hurt you. Not because you want to, but because pain has taught you to protect yourself at all costs.
Healing is not about becoming perfect. Itâs about becoming aware. Itâs about recognizing your triggers, taking responsibility for your reactions, and choosing growth over comfort. Itâs learning to sit with your emotions instead of projecting them onto others. Itâs understanding that love is not meant to fix you, you must do that work.
The truth is, people can only meet you as deeply as youâve met yourself. If you are broken inside, you will break connections no matter how pure they are. But when you choose healing, everything changes. Love feels safer. Communication becomes softer. Relationships stop feeling like battlefields and start feeling like homes.
So take the time you need. Do the inner work. Heal your past so it doesnât poison your present. Because when you heal yourself, you donât just save relationships, you become someone who can finally receive love without fear.
Healing isnât selfish. Itâs necessary.â