04/23/2023
This week I met anxiety.
And wow.
A puzzle piece that wasn't easy to put together.
Timing was also not easy.
Eitan went on a surfing trip while
my body betrayed me as I suddenly had a severe inflammation that left me completely dependent on others. My 11-year-old son.
And from there it began.
Suddenly everything was floating.
The anxiety of losing him
The anxiety that I'm dependent on him, on my son who needs to take such a great responsibility for his mother.
The load
The need
The tasks
The place that asks me to function despite the great pain in my body.
The anxiety (again) became "my best friend" . I couldn't see anything outside of it.
In the past, I knew that feeling well, in the last decade when I tried to bring children into the world. I thought we parted ways forever,
But this manipulative one waited for me around the corner and entered through the back door in a tantrum.
What was even more frustrating was the huge gap between where Eitan was - a surfing trip in paradise -
Versus my own surfing trip in hell.
A communication gap was created between us, and he couldn't reach me.his reality was so different & his point of view was a conclusion of the lack of appreciation on my part.
This was even more frustrating; it created a great sense of guilt and shame in him because he couldn't see where I was at that moment and be empathetic.
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Anxiety can be a challenging but powerful tool for personal growth. Through communicating with it, we can overcome mental rigidity and evolve. I learned that even in my toughest moments, I am strong and that love prevails, even when things are not in sync. Deep within us lies the tools to heal, balance, and unite the black and white in our lives into a rainbow of colors. Remember, love conquers all. We just need to learn how to process & narrow our gap between the two mind & heart 🧠🌈❤️it’s all a matter of CHOICE!