01/10/2025
Abandoning Parents in Their Old Age is a Grave Sin
All praise is to Allah, and may His peace and blessings be upon our Master Muhammad (Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him), his family, his companions, and all who follow his path.
Islamic teachings place a profound emphasis on honoring parents, especially as they enter their later years—a time of increased vulnerability and need for both physical and emotional support. While we are always commanded to be kind to them, Allah specifically highlights their old age, instructing us in the Quran:
“Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” (Quran 17:23)
This verse calls us to unwavering patience, compassion, and respect, even when faced with the challenges that aging may bring. It teaches us that caring for them in this way is among the most beloved acts of worship to Allah.
In fact, the reward for serving one’s parents, particularly in their old age, is immense. It is equated with the highest acts of devotion. Consider the man who came to the Prophet (Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) eager to perform Jihad. When the Prophet learned the man’s mother was alive, he advised him: “Then fear Allah regarding her. If you do that, you are like a pilgrim, a performer of `Umrah, and a Mujahid.” (Narrated by Al-Bayhaqi)
On another occasion, when a man sought permission for Jihad, the Prophet (Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) asked him, “Are your parents alive?” Upon hearing “yes,” the Prophet simply said, “Then strive in serving them.” (Narrated by Muslim) This makes it clear that fulfilling their needs and seeking their pleasure is itself a form of Jihad.
Yet, in our modern world, we witness a painful contradiction to these teachings. Some parents are left entirely alone, without visits, financial support, or basic care, leading to neglect, harm, or even death from preventable causes like illness, despair, or loneliness. This abandonment—known as ‘Uquq—is a profound act of ingratitude, a denial of the countless sacrifices they made for us. No matter how busy life gets, there is no excuse for this neglect. The Prophet (Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) was explicit, listing disobedience to parents among the gravest of major sins, second only to shirk.
It’s also a mistake to think that sending money is enough. The sin of neglect is not erased by financial support alone if it comes without love, companionship, or a caring presence. Parents have a deep emotional and psychological right to our time and attention. They deserve to see their children and grandchildren, to feel connected and loved. After all, they gave us the best years of their lives, their energy, and their resources. As Ibn `Umar said, “Making one’s parents cry is an act of disobedience.” (Al-Adab al-Mufrad)
True dutifulness goes far beyond the wallet. It encompasses inquiring after them kindly, sitting with them, comforting their hearts, keeping them company in their solitude, and bringing happiness to them. In this lies a great act of devotion that many other righteous deeds and acts of obedience cannot equal.
So, to all children: Let your kindness to your parents be your ticket to Paradise and the key to Allah’s pleasure and blessings in your life. The Prophet (Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of the parent, and the wrath of Allah is in the wrath of the parent.” (Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi).
Remember, the treatment you give your parents today is a lesson your own children will learn for tomorrow. And never forget the power of a parent’s prayer—it can elevate your status, shield you from harm, and open doors you never knew existed. The Prophet (Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) reminded us, “The parent is the middle gate of Paradise. So if you wish, neglect that gate or preserve it.” (Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi).
We pray to Allah to grant us the ability to honor our parents in life and in death, and to make our devotion to them a means to His eternal pleasure and our everlasting home in Paradise.
May the peace, blessings, and grace of Allah be upon our Master Muhammad, his family, and all his companions. All praise is to Allah, the Lord of the worlds.
