30/03/2025
Dealing with infertility issues is one of the most painful and difficult moments that any woman can experience. It often feels that most people around us do not truly understand how hard it is on our souls and bodies. Women have been preparing to become mothers since they were little girls. From playing dress up to pretending to feed their baby dolls, they automatically have in their mind “Once I get married, I will be a mother” and “I will be complete as a woman”. But for some women, including myself, this has not been the case.
Many women who are married have to deal with the constant question “When are you going to have a baby?” a question that haunts them day after day. As a someone who is going through this heartache for a very long time now ,I know the anguish in hoping that on the next mother’s day, it will be the time to celebrate. So many women struggle to become pregnant and hope each month to finally receive the good news. Failing to get pregnant is extremely emotionally painful.
Every Mother’s Day, I had to put a smile on my face, and let everyone know that I was just fine, but I was carrying the emotional pain internally. This not is not an easy process for me. Because No one understand the pain I can also say that this has been my most difficult moment.
But how do we overcome this pain?
At first, you go through denial, you cannot comprehend why this is happening to you, you are a woman who has always dreamt of becoming a mother, you start comparing yourself with others, and ask yourself” if they can, why not me?” to answer that question on your own is draining and sad. Some women feel guilty for not being able to procreate, especially because it is the natural thing to do.
Society has wired our minds to make us believe that if a woman is not a mother, she cannot consider herself a fulfilled person.
I will always remember the time when my younger sister got pregnant I know and remember what someone closed to me said that made me cry for many nights. Though I was happy for her, I felt sad and disappointed at the same time because I had been trying to get pregnant for so many years and I saw without positive results then I started seeing my self as a failure. It took me a couple of days to gather myself together.
It is time to
decide that your well- being and emotional stability will not only depend on becoming a mother, but on being first physically healthy and pain free, and at peace with yourself. realized that Motherhood does not make you a better woman than who you already are.
There is hope……..
There is a still place for those of us who are not able to have a child. You get to celebrate the joy with your friends, your siblings and your mother on their special day. If you are a teacher, you get to be your student’s mother for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, if you are an aunt you get to be the one who spoils your nieces and nephews, and you have friends with kids, they will always consider you their second mom, until God smiles on you and decides to bless you womb either via normal conception or through IVF.
You don’t become a mother when you get pregnant or give birth, you become a mother once you have the capacity to love and care like one for others. MUCH LOVE TO ALL THE TTC WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
