18/09/2024
I just finished reading a very depressing story of a woman who just left a loveless marriage. I cried reading that story. She conveyed her emotions so well with her great writing skill and I felt what she was feeling in my soul.
Some may be waiting for the other side of the story but look, there are no two sides of the story when someone is telling you how they feel. It’s only one person that can tell us how he/she feels and I HEARD her loud and clear. Nothing worse than unrequited love.
After reading, I sat there and imagined how such a smart (from her writing), self-aware young woman was jejely working in her career ooo. At that time, she was probably very happy with her life ooo and thought that the only thing missing was love. She fell in love with this man and got married to him. Left her job because of him. He cajoled her into doing business, something that she hates. They have two kids and at the time she wrote the story, her second child is under one year.
Now, career she no see, love she no see, money she no get, even the marriage is gone because …
… all this while, the man is cheating on her to her face. He would give her silent treatments for months, for no reason. She has tried to speak with him about this to no avail. When she could no longer take it, she told him she was leaving, he didn’t flinch. She packed her bags, she left with their two kids and the man did not lift a finger to stop her from going.
At the end of her story, she expressed some self-doubt about leaving her husband, she asked if she should go back and beg him to take her back. This is the part that brought tears to my eyes: that after all of these, this woman is considering going back to be used as a doormat forever and ever.
Ladies, there are some basic survival skills in this life that should not be thrown out of the window simply because we are in love with another human being.
1. Never give up your financial independence for anybody.
2. Never give up your financial independence for anybody.
3. Never give up your financial independence for anybody.
Believe it or not, a lot of things in this life are linked to financial independence: the kind of people you attract to yourself, having a happy relationship/marriage, the way people treat you, the things you can take from people, the things you worry about, the ease to move on when you find out that you married your enemy, I can go on and on. I’ll need to make a video on this one because no amount of writing can adequately illustrate this one.
The only reason that this lady is asking all these questions is because she gave up her financial independence.
NEVER, EVER, let anyone convince you that you have to leave your job to be a good Mum. When you take the decision to stay home to take care of your kids, you have a plan. But when you do it because someone else is pushing you to do that, it never ends well.
If I, Flo, can do the type of job I do, a job that takes me away from home for weeks at a time, to different parts of the world, you can do an office job that lets you go home every day and still raise good kids with a man that wants a happy wife, a happy life and and a happy home.
I’m writing this from South America, in June I was in Norway, some of you followed me to work in Nigeria late last year. My husband and I are raising the most well-behaved teenagers (biological and several foster children we raise from afar). All these kids are excelling in their education too.
You came home late from work and he is guilt tripping you because of that? When he came to ask for your hand in marriage, didn’t he know the type of job you did? Didn’t he know that both of you will have kids to take care of in the future?
I’ve said this in some of my videos and I will continue to say it: I will never understand why a full-grown man will leave all the ladies that want to be full time stay-at-home mums, and go and marry a career woman then guilt-trip/bully her into leaving her job. If a man thinks that kids can only be raised when one parent is at home full time, then he should stay home. Once a child is out of the womb, you don’t need a va**na to take care of or raise that child.
It's only a malicious person that will make you believe that a 9 to 5 is too much for a mum YET push you into business. Running a business takes more out of you than a 9 to 5. Is it not all these one-man businesses that most people are doing in Nigeria? With such businesses, you never close shop. If you are not tending to your shop, you are buying goods, you are doing inventory, you are responding to your customers, you are updating your social media pages to make more sales. When it comes to running a business, you are always ON. Business people will tell you.
You ladies that are career women, I also will never understand it either when some of you allow yourselves to be forced/cajoled/tricked/bullied into leaving your jobs. Were you just disguising as a career woman while waiting for a husband to come?
Because I don’t get it!
Did you suffer to secure your job at all? In a country where good, well-paying jobs are hard to come by?
Please explain to me because this is always hard for me to understand.
Some say they do it for peace to reign but as we have all seen from other people’s experiences, even if you lay yourself on a platter, with someone who is out to annihilate you, that peace will never reign kwanu. Before some people will give you the respect you deserve, there needs to be war first for peace to even thrive and later reign supreme in your home.
Yours always,
Flo,
the Essential Balm for all your life experiences.
