Ilja Abbattista

17/07/2025

Shaping human rights strategies through lived experience- not just ticking boxes.

Today, I had the honour of speaking at the Ethical Trade Strategic Supplier Forum, representing Bright Future Co-operative Future Co-op as both a board member and survivor.

The session, Shaping Human Rights Approaches Through Lived Experience, brought together a room full of people ready to listen, learn, and engage - not from a place of tokenism, but from genuine interest and intention.

I was joined by some brilliant co-panellists:
🔹 . Sophia Gonzalez de Aguinaga – Modern Slavery Policy and Evidence Centre
🔹 Phillip Clayton – Align Consultancy
🔹 David Hammond Esq. AFNI Hammond – Human Rights at Sea International

Each brought a unique perspective, but what connected us all was the belief that lived experience must be central, not symbolic, in shaping ethical practices across industries.

I shared parts of my own journey - and why supporting survivor-led employment through Bright Future Co-operative Future isn’t just ethical… it’s effective.

A huge thank you to everyone who attended, asked questions, and opened the door for future collaboration. And to the suppliers and organisations who are beginning to see lived experience not as an add-on, but as a critical part of strategy and change - thank you.

Let’s keep moving toward a future where inclusion means action. Where survivors are not only heard, but hired. Not only welcomed, but leading. Thank you Aisha Aswani and your team for hosting such a great day.

If you’d like to find out more about Bright Future Co-operative or how your business can engage meaningfully with lived experience, feel free to message me directly.

17/07/2025

Can’t even stop yawning.The exhaustion is real after sharing a trauma-based story publicly.This is how I feel after speaking - not just in passing, but from the deepest parts of my life. It’s not a complaint. It’s not a cry for sympathy.It’s just the truth.There’s an emotional cost to using lived experience for awareness, education, and change, even when you choose to do it, and even when it’s powerful.I always plan for a rest day after. Because this isn’t just public speaking.It’s revisiting something you’ve fought to survive - in service of others who still need the door opened.If you work with lived experience speakers, please remember: preparation, rest, and proper support matter more than you know.

12/07/2025

https://iljaabbattista.co.uk/podcast-dating-on-high-alert/

Episode 8, Why we keep falling for the wrong ones (and how to stop it)

The podcast for women with ADHD, trauma, and big, spiraling hearts trying to date, love, and come back to themselves. Listen on Spotify or Listen on Apple Podcasts About the Podcast Let’s be honest: dating advice wasn’t made for women who overthink every message, question their gut, or get emoti...

23/06/2025

⚠️ Two Known Child Predators Were Allowed to Stay in the UK – And One Reoffended. Why Are We Still Protecting Offenders Over Children?

Earlier this month, two men—both wanted in Brazil for horrendous crimes—used the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR) to block their deportation from the UK.

One of them, Marlon Martins Dos Santos, had already been convicted of murder and repeated r**e of a five-year-old. He claimed that Brazilian prison conditions were too inhumane, so he couldn’t be extradited under Article 3 of the ECHR. But while living freely in the UK, he reoffended—convicted here in April for possessing and distributing over 1,000 child abuse images, including some of the most extreme.

The second man, Nicolás Gomes De Brito, is accused of ordering a revenge killing. He also used Article 3 to avoid extradition. An undercover investigation recently exposed serious questions about the truthfulness of his case, including evidence he has a wife and child here.

This is not about politics. This is about protection—for children, for communities, and for survivors.

I know this pain personally. As someone who was exploited by gangs, I know what happens when predators are allowed to operate unchecked. I also know what it feels like to be failed by systems that were supposed to protect us.

Over 300 extradition requests from Brazil have resulted in just 4 people being sent back. This is not justice. It’s a loophole big enough to cost lives.

We need:
👉 ECHR reform that prioritises public safety over theoretical harm
👉 Stronger powers for the Home Secretary to intervene when serious offenders are involved
👉 Transparency and monitoring of known offenders while they remain in the UK
👉 Support for survivors who live every day with the consequences of these failures

You cannot say you stand with survivors while allowing their abusers to stay—free to harm again.

If you believe children deserve better than this, join me:
✅ Share this post
✅ Contact your MP
✅ Push for change that centres protection, not loopholes

23/06/2025

🔥 Why Are We Still Letting the Same Men Hurt Our Girls?
Another grooming gang convicted.
Another survivor speaking out.
Another reminder that we are not learning.

This month, seven men were found guilty in yet another Rochdale grooming case. Some of these men were already known to authorities. They had been convicted before. They had faced justice—and yet somehow, they were able to do it again.

How? Why?

As someone with lived experience of being exploited by gangs, this isn’t just news to me. It’s a reality I’ve carried in my body, in my memories, and in the silence that so many of us were taught to keep.

What we’re seeing isn’t new. But the pain it causes—every single time—is fresh.

Systems are still failing. Offenders are still being released and left unmonitored. Social services are still ignoring warning signs. Survivors are still having to fight to be heard, to be believed, to be safe.

Josie Clark’s recent testimony—sharing how she was drugged and r**ed by a gang from the age of 11—echoes what so many of us have experienced: exploitation cloaked in plain sight, institutions brushing it under the carpet, and a deafening silence that protects perpetrators.

Let me be clear:
👉 This isn’t just about punishing individuals.
👉 This is about dismantling systems that enable exploitation to continue.
👉 This is about centring survivor voices not after the damage is done—but before it happens again.

We need:
✅ Better monitoring of known offenders
✅ Accountability for services that turn a blind eye
✅ Education that actually protects children—not blames them
✅ Support that listens to and uplifts survivors, instead of retraumatising them

We must stop being shocked. And start demanding change.

Because silence is complicity.
And we’ve been silent long enough.

23/06/2025

S*x. ADHD. Trauma.
Three words that don’t get talked about together enough.
But they should — because they overlap more than you think.

I wrote a blog that goes deep into why intimacy can feel confusing, disconnected, or even overwhelming — especially when you’ve been through trauma or live with a neurodivergent brain.

If you’ve ever felt broken, distracted, numb, or like you couldn’t “just relax” — this is for you.

🔗 Tap the link in bio to read
🎧 And listen to the latest podcast episode while you’re there

*x *xualHealing

20/06/2025

🎙️ NEW on Dating on High Alert
Why We Fall Fast (and Hard)
A podcast for the neurospicy, the romantics, the ones still healing.

📍 Link in bio
💌 https://iljaabbattista.co.uk/podcast-dating-on-high-alert/

08/06/2025

👉 My latest blog explores how trauma and ADHD shape our boundaries—and how to find safety again.

🔗 https://iljaabbattista.co.uk/how-trauma-shapes-our-boundaries/

08/06/2025

✨ New Episode Alert! ✨
This week on my podcast, Dating on High Alert, I’m talking about something that’s been a turning point in my own journey: boundaries.
For years, I thought boundaries were walls — ways to keep people out. But I’ve come to see that boundaries aren’t about rejection — they’re about self-respect and coming home to yourself.
I’ve put together a mini carousel with some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned about boundaries:
✅ Emotional boundaries
✅ Physical boundaries
✅ Time boundaries
✅ And why they’re not just about dating — they’re about healing.
🌿 Swipe through and let me know: What’s one boundary you’re working on right now? How has setting boundaries changed the way you show up in relationships — and in your own life?
Let’s inspire each other!
🎙️ Listen to the full episode:
https://open.spotify.com/show/5eGehIjJ7KMDNWhKMq89O3...
🧡 And remember: boundaries aren’t about pushing people away — they’re about making space for what’s real and safe.

04/06/2025

You can now find me on Apple Podcasts and on Spotify

Relationships Podcast · Dating on High Alert dives into the messy reality of dating with ADHD and trauma - because when your heart's in survival mode, love gets complicated. What could possibly go wrong?

29/05/2025

🔊 New Podcast Episode: Overgiving Isn’t Love — It’s Self-Abandonment in Disguise

If you’ve ever been called “too nice” or found yourself doing more in relationships just to feel enough — this one’s for you.

In this latest episode of Dating on High Alert, I talk about overgiving as a trauma response — how it shows up in dating, intimacy, and even in the way we chase connection instead of receiving it.

I share personal stories, raw truths, and practical ways to step back from patterns that keep us stuck — including how I learned to trust myself, set boundaries, and give without abandoning myself in the process.

❤️ This episode is for the people-pleasers.
❤️ The survivors.
❤️ The ones trying to get love “right” while healing their story.

It’s honest. It's hopeful. And it’s one of the most personal episodes I’ve shared yet.

🎧 Listen to the full episode here: https://iljaabbattista.co.uk/podcast-dating-on-high-alert/

✍️ Read the accompanying blog: https://iljaabbattista.co.uk/healing-doesnt-mean-coping-perfectly/

📬 Sign up to receive Truth Notes: https://iljaabbattista.co.uk/sign-up-for-the-truth-notes/

Because you don’t have to do more to be loved. You just have to be you.

10/05/2025

Ilja Abbattista reflects on her journey of survival & strength, sharing a powerful reminder that you're not defined by your past, you are a product of greatness