Ivana Poku - Mumsjourney

Ivana Poku - Mumsjourney However, I soon understood I was not the only one struggling.

Mum of mixed race twins+1 | Postnatal depression survivor | Host of Life in Black & White podcast |Author of Motherhood - The Unspoken | Founder of Author for Motherhood - The Unspoken, maternal mental health advocate, award-nominated blogger, award-winning mentor, motivational speaker; Parenting contributor for BBC London

After giving birth to my twin boys in 2016, I suffered from

severe postnatal depression which was the scariest experience of my life I don’t wish on anyone. Even if things don't go as far as depression, becoming a mother is nothing like we had expected and without relevant information and support this can easily lead to self-doubt, guilt, and severe mental health issues. After I pulled through depression, I set up Mumsjourney and have been on a mission to create the world where new mums don’t suffer in silence. You could see my work feature in Forbes, Guardian, Telegraph, Independent, NBC, Fabulous, Metro & others. Website: https://mumsjourney.com/

My book Motherhood -The Unspoken: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07XXJ67TT

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10/10/2025

You know those leaflets they give you after birth — the ones filled with helpline numbers to call if you ever have thoughts about hurting yourself or your baby?

I wonder - does anyone in real crisis actually pick up the phone and call them?

Because honestly, we need more than just leaflets.

We need real conversations.

We need someone to notice when we’re not okay — and not just hand us a number to call.

Most mums in crisis don’t need a leaflet. They want a person. Someone who listens, who gets it, who says, “You’re not crazy. It’s normal to struggle. I’m here for you. You’ll be okay.”

Mums deserve more than a leaflet don’t you think? 🤔

Another baby has tragically lost their life to postpartum depression. Another mum is behind bars for an act that stems f...
06/10/2025

Another baby has tragically lost their life to postpartum depression. Another mum is behind bars for an act that stems from a severe mental health crisis, not a cold-blooded crime. As a mother who’s been dangerously close to hurting her own babies, I feel compelled to speak.

What many people don’t realise is that postpartum depression can last for years. These mums are not monsters - they are unwell and in desperate need of support. Locking them up does nothing to prevent further tragedy. The real crisis is a system that fails new mothers, leaving them isolated, untreated, and at risk.

Postpartum depression can last for years, but it doesn’t have to end in heartbreak. I’ve seen what practical steps - early intervention, accessible support, and community care - can do to protect mums and babies.

If we continue ignoring this, more lives will be lost. But if we act now, we can save them.

And here’s the part most people don’t know: the solutions are within reach - and most don’t cost a thing.

What do you think we as society can do to make a lasting difference for new mums (and dads)?

The older my boys get, the more I see this clearly.As mums, we often focus on the wrong things.When they start weaning…W...
04/10/2025

The older my boys get, the more I see this clearly.

As mums, we often focus on the wrong things.

When they start weaning…

What age they walk or use the potty…

How much screen time they get…

Of course, these things matter (a little)… but we often give them extremely much attention.

Meanwhile, the things that really shape who they become can slip through our fingers.

Like…

👉 Independence (so underrated, yet so important)

👉 Kindness and respect

👉 Believing in themselves

👉 Problem-solving

👉 Open-mindedness

These are the life skills that will carry them through anything.

Not whether they were potty trained at 10 months or 3 years.

Not whether they were breastfed or bottle-fed.

Not whether they had 1 hour or 10 hours of screen time.

The problem is—we don’t talk about these things enough.

Not on social media.

Not in parenting groups.

Not even with each other.

So we end up worrying about the “little stuff” that doesn’t actually matter in the long run.

Today, I invite you to let go of the pressure to do things “by the book” and instead, pour your energy into the things that truly matter for their future.

Because parenting isn’t about raising perfect kids. Or proving yourself to others.

It’s about raising good humans who leave the world better than they found it.

It’s about planting roots so deep that even when we’re no longer here, our children can still stand strong. ❤️

“Mummy, did you love us when you first saw us?”My son asked me this today. And my heart broke a little.Because the truth...
01/10/2025

“Mummy, did you love us when you first saw us?”

My son asked me this today. And my heart broke a little.

Because the truth is… I didn’t feel the magical, overwhelming love everyone talks about.

Back then, I felt like the worst mother in the world. I kept thinking, what’s wrong with me? Why don’t I feel it like everyone else?

Today I know it’s completely normal, but I also know something else: That the bond and love WAS there. It just didn’t experience it that way I thought I would.

You see, when I was four months pregnant, I started to bleed. That was the first time i physically trembled from fear - the fear of losing my babies. And when I found out they were okay, it was the greatest relief and joy I have ever experienced.

Yes, the love didn’t explode in fireworks the moment they were born. It grew. It shifted. It shaped itself around me slowly, quietly, in ways I didn’t expect. And that’s true for so many new mums. Just because the love doesn’t hit you like a tidal wave at first sight doesn’t mean it’s not there. It’s there. It’s real.

After birth, your hormones, emotions, and exhaustion all collide. Feeling anything less than perfect at first is completely normal. The bond doesn’t always look like Instagram - it often grows over time, quietly, deeply, and in ways only you can feel.

So, when my son asked me today if I loved him the first time I saw him, my heart ached. My first memories of meeting him were tangled with guilt and shame, not the instant fairy-tale love I thought I should have felt.

But today, wiser and more gentle with myself, I know the answer is Yes.

To every new mum who feels this: your love might not look how you imagined, but it’s still there.

It’s there. It’s real. It’s fierce. It’s unshakable. And it will grow in ways you cannot yet imagine.

We need to stop romanticising motherhood and start acknowledging all forms of love between new mums and their babies. ❤️

For years, I’ve talked about the hard, unspoken parts of becoming a new mum.The mental load. Intrusive thoughts. Lonelin...
27/09/2025

For years, I’ve talked about the hard, unspoken parts of becoming a new mum.

The mental load. Intrusive thoughts. Loneliness. Loss of identity. Mental health struggles. Postpartum depression.

But as my children grow, and my PPD feels further and further behind me, I feel the need to share more of the good and happy stuff.

I didn’t talk about it much before, because I didn’t want mums in the thick of it to feel bad for not being able to feel the joy yet. (I know all too well how damaging endless “happy mum” posts can be to a new mum.)

But I’ve also realised that sharing that joy can actually HELP mums - by giving them hope rather than feelings of inadequacy.

Don’t get me wrong, PPD will forever be a part of me, and it will always be the driving force behind making a difference for mums around the world.

But there’s more to my story, and I feel drawn to share more of it.

I’m not just someone who survived PPD.

I’m living proof that the sun does come out, even after the scariest storms.

So if you’re a mum who is struggling right now, please know that there ARE brighter days just around the corner.

If you want help and support on your journey, feel free to DM me. I also invite you to check out my blog, mumsjourney.com, where I share lots of free resources and tips to support you.

PS. This pic doesn’t reflect every moment of my life, but it reflects what I choose to focus on, what I hold in my heart, and what keeps me going when things feel hard.

Many of you know my PPD story.I often compare it to cancer - because in so many ways, PPD is a form of cancer.So I was… ...
20/09/2025

Many of you know my PPD story.

I often compare it to cancer - because in so many ways, PPD is a form of cancer.

So I was… well, “relieved” might be closer to the truth, when shared that her postpartum struggles were more challenging than her battle with breast cancer.

Of course, every journey is different.

PPD is different for everyone, just like cancer is.

But one thing remains true: when you have PPD, people around you don’t understand it.

Support is limited, guidance is scarce, and there’s poor education about how to recognise it, how to cope, and how to recover.

With cancer, it’s different.

People often know what to expect. They get all the support, care, and understanding from everyone around them.

With PPD, it’s often a big, scary unknown - to the person experiencing it, and to those around them.

It makes you think… how different would the world feel if we treated postpartum mental health with the same awareness, compassion, and urgency?

And most importantly - how many lives could be saved? ❤️

Thank you Olivia for your bravery and for speaking up! Xx

A big shoutout to another incredible woman, Charlotte Kelly  — singer with the legendary band Soul II Soul — who has len...
19/09/2025

A big shoutout to another incredible woman, Charlotte Kelly — singer with the legendary band Soul II Soul — who has lent her beautiful voice to the ‘Motherhood: The Unspoken’ audio project by narrating a part of the book

Together, we’re spreading awareness about postnatal depression and raising funds for the .foundation.

Right now, more and more amazing women are joining in to narrate parts of ‘Motherhood: The Unspoken’.

Once finished, all their voices will come together as one powerful audiobook filled with truth, hope, and connection.

Stay tuned, it’s going to be powerful.

Had a magical weekend with the kids. ❤️We didn’t do anything “special”... in fact, we hardly did anything.Yet we did EVE...
16/09/2025

Had a magical weekend with the kids. ❤️

We didn’t do anything “special”... in fact, we hardly did anything.

Yet we did EVERYTHING.

Let me explain.

So many mums (me included) feel guilty for not doing more with our kids.

We think unless every day is packed with adventures, crafts, or big moments, we’re somehow failing them.

But here’s what I’ve learned (the hard way):
The best gift you can give your children is your presence.

Not just being there physically, but really being there - mind, heart, and soul.

Because if your body is with them, but your mind is running through to-do lists, deadlines, or worries… it’s almost the same as not being there at all.

But when you’re fully present - whether you’re watching a movie, chatting, walking, or even sitting in silence - that’s when the magic happens.

It doesn’t have to be hours. Sometimes even 15 minutes a day of undevided attention can make all the difference.

Because in those moments, they don’t just get your time.

They get YOU.

18/08/2025

When did motherhood turn into a competition?

Why are we even arguing about which stage is the hardest?

Truth is though that having your first baby is the biggest and most brutal transformation you’ll ever go through.

That’s what makes it so damn hard.

And yet, people conveniently forget just how relentless those first weeks are.

So I have to ask: what’s the point of these “hardest stage” posts?

For likes?

For going viral?

At the risk of pushing a new mum, already at her most vulnerable, right over the edge?

That’s not awareness.

That’s reckless.

Crazy isn’t it?
17/08/2025

Crazy isn’t it?

When we give mums the knowledge, tools, and support they need, we don’t just prevent suffering – we help them feel seen,...
16/08/2025

When we give mums the knowledge, tools, and support they need, we don’t just prevent suffering – we help them feel seen, heard, and supported.

That’s why I speak up. That’s why I write, share, and support.

Because no mum should feel alone, broken, or afraid to say: “I’m not okay.”

Motherhood isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but it shouldn’t be a secret.

Let’s start being honest, together. ❤️

My latest blog post: Alex Jones shares what every mum feels but rarely admits👇
14/08/2025

My latest blog post: Alex Jones shares what every mum feels but rarely admits👇

Motherhood has two sides: the one people show you, and the one they don’t. When Alex Jones, host of The One Show, opened up about her raw, emotional experience during those early months of motherhood, it struck a chord with so many women. Her honesty peeled back the polished image of motherhood an...

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http://www.thepokus.com/

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