Ivana Poku - Mumsjourney

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Ivana Poku - Mumsjourney

However, I soon understood I was not the only one struggling.

Mum of mixed race twins+1 | Postnatal depression survivor | Host of Life in Black & White podcast |Author of Motherhood - The Unspoken | Founder of Author for Motherhood - The Unspoken, maternal mental health advocate, award-nominated blogger, award-winning mentor, motivational speaker; Parenting contributor for BBC London

After giving birth to my twin boys in 2016, I suffered from

severe postnatal depression which was the scariest experience of my life I don’t wish on anyone. Even if things don't go as far as depression, becoming a mother is nothing like we had expected and without relevant information and support this can easily lead to self-doubt, guilt, and severe mental health issues. After I pulled through depression, I set up Mumsjourney and have been on a mission to create the world where new mums don’t suffer in silence. You could see my work feature in Forbes, Guardian, Telegraph, Independent, NBC, Fabulous, Metro & others. Website: https://mumsjourney.com/

My book Motherhood -The Unspoken: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07XXJ67TT

Instagram:

02/01/2026

I’ve started noticing this a while ago…

How we apologise for everything.

Sorry, would you mind…?
Sorry for moaning…
Sorry, but I need help…
Sorry, I don’t agree with you…

We sprinkle “sorry” into our sentences like it’s a meaningless filler.

But have you ever stopped to think about what that’s actually doing to you? (And those around you)

Growing up, many of us were taught to be “good girls.”

To be polite, quiet, agreeable.

And slowly, without realising it, that constant apologising chips away at something much bigger than manners—it chips away at your confidence, your voice, your sense of self-worth.

“Sorry” becomes a default. A shield. A way to avoid conflict.

But it also becomes a weight.

Every unnecessary sorry whispers: You’re too much. You’re not okay as you are. Your needs are inconvenient.

Of course, there are times when saying sorry absolutely has its place - when we’ve hurt someone or made a mistake.

But I’m talking about the “sorry” that sneaks into your words even when you’re in the right.

The one that makes you feel smaller and takes away your power.

So, next time you feel that reflex to apologise, ask yourself: Do I really need to say sorry? Or am I just trying to shrink myself to make someone else comfortable?

Your voice matters. Your feelings matter. You don’t need to apologise for existing, for needing help, or for standing your ground.

Stop apologising for being you!

31/12/2025

As the year is coming to an end, I just wanted to pause and say a huge THANK YOU.

Thank you for trusting me, reading my words, and allowing my work to sit alongside you on your motherhood journey.

And most of all, thank you for everything you do for your family.

I know mums don’t get appreciated as often as they deserve. That doesn’t mean people don’t appreciate them — but it’s really nice when someone says it out loud, isn’t it? 😉

So here I am, saying THANK YOU for being such an incredible mum.

For showing up, even on days when you feel like running away.

For loving your children fiercely, even on the days they drive you crazy.

Thank you for also looking after your needs, because you know that looking after yourself is part of looking after them.

Thank you for learning, growing, and trying again each day - with them and for them. ❤

You are an INCREDIBLE mum!!!

With love and gratitude,
Ivana xx

22/12/2025

When does it get easier?

Every new mum asks this. Many older mums say… never.

I didn’t like or agree with that answer. But now, with my boys getting older, I understand exactly what they mean.

Our twins are 9. Recently, they joined a new club and faced some harsh words from other children.

At first, my instinct went full mama bear. I wanted to pull them out, wrap them back under my wings, protect them from every hurt.

But then, deep in my bones, I felt it: it’s time.

Time to let them face the world as it is — not because I want them to get hurt, but because shielding them forever would cost them something far greater.

Their resilience. Their confidence. Their ability to stand tall when life isn’t gentle.

It wasn’t easy to accept. I still want to protect them. Always.

But I realised: letting go a little is part of helping them grow.

And somehow, that thought both terrifies me and makes me proud all at once. ❤️

03/12/2025

So this is the first year Henry and Mason actually KNOW about Santa.

I was honestly dreading this moment… but it turned out beautifully. ❤️

They’d been questioning things for a while - both Santa AND the tooth fairy.

Then one morning Henry woke me up and said that he knew the tooth fairy wasn’t real… because he’d lost a tooth the day before, didn’t tell me, put it under his pillow, and no money appeared.

I admit I was very proud of him In that moment, for how he figured it out. 😂💪😎

So yes soon they learned about Santa too , and to my relief there was no drama!

They actually laughed and said, “So it was YOU who ate the mince pies we left by the fireplace?!” 😝

And the most amazing thing is that keep the Santa magic going for their little brother.

(Now THAT’S real magic :))

I also overheard them in the car when their friend asked if they’d written a Santa list.
They nodded and said they had, gently protecting the magic for their friend without saying a word. 🥹

It’s AMAZING watching them grow and change and turn into young men right in front of me.

Sure, it’s also bittersweet, but the magic of it all is honestly incredible when we’re willing to see it.

25/11/2025

I came across this quote recently and HAD TO share it with you, fellow perfectionists - both recent and recovering 😝❤️

18/11/2025

Happy 4th birthday baby Yaw! Forever my favourite picture of you ❤️

11/11/2025

Just reading “Baby drama” by Sandi Lynn and wow… apart from it being a great book, she absolutely nailed what it really feels like to be a new mum!! The emotions, the exhaustion, the love, the chaos… all of it.

Sandi, I don’t think you even realise how powerful that is. Talking about the real side of motherhood helps break so much stigma and struggling in silence.

On behalf of all mums, thank you so much for reminding the world that becoming a mum isn’t - and isn’t meant to be - all sunshine and rainbows. ❤️

01/11/2025

Is it normal to regret having a baby?

What a question, right?

One that most mums would never dare to say out loud.

But here’s the truth — many of us have thought it.

You dreamed of this moment for years. The positive test. The tiny hands. The sweet cuddles.

And then… reality hit.

The exhaustion. The constant crying. The loss of freedom.

And a tiny whisper in your head says:
“What have I done?”

It feels awful, doesn’t it?

You love your baby — of course you do — but a part of you misses your old life so badly it hurts.

Here’s what I want you to know:

You’re not broken.

You’re not a bad mum.

You’re simply adjusting to the biggest transformation of your life.

Regretting parts of motherhood doesn’t mean you regret your baby.

It means you’re… well, a new mum.

No one talks about this side of motherhood — the shock, the grief, the guilt — but it’s so common.

Every new mum goes through conflicting emotions. You’re just brave enough to admit it.

In my latest blog post, I talk about:

✨ Why postpartum regret is actually normal (and kind of expected)
✨ What it really means (spoiler: it’s not what you think)
✨ Simple things you can do to start feeling like YOU again

If you’ve ever felt like you’re the only mum who’s struggling to “enjoy every moment”… this post is for you.

Click the link in the bio to read the full post, or visit mumsjourney.com.

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http://Www.mumsjourney.com/, http://www.thepokus.com/

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