Girl on a Bench

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A Sober Neurodivergent Writer & ADHDer✨
Sarcastic Humour|Recovering Outloud|Awareness✨
My Face,My Myopia Eyes, CFS & ME| ED🎗️✨
Sober 5 Yr’s 12/11/19✨

Well, I don’t do Mondays. Never have. They’re just… gross.🤣 And today? I had to go to the local hospital—a place I’d hon...
13/01/2025

Well, I don’t do Mondays. Never have. They’re just… gross.🤣 And today?
I had to go to the local hospital—a place I’d honestly rather spend a day scraping chewing gum off pavements than visit. 🤮But off I went, dragging myself in like the reluctant sh*tbag I am. 🤦‍♀️

And then, the unthinkable happened. Brace yourselves… a consultant who actually listened to me. 🤣🫣

I know, I couldn’t believe it either. For the first time ever, someone let me talk without interrupting, didn’t contradict me, and actually acted like I might know a thing or two about my own knackered body. Shocking, I know.😂

He even apologized for the wait (someone pinch me 😂), said he understood how rubbish things have been, and then told me, “Don’t worry, we’ll sort it.” I nearly fell off my chair. I didn’t cry (though it was touch and go), but honestly, the relief was massive.

After years of doctors and consultants treating me like I’m rubbish, overreacting, being dramatic, or, you know, just making it all up—this guy actually got it. He didn’t see me as just another name on a list. He saw me as a human being who’s been through the sh*t.

If you’ve got a chronic illness or an eating disorder, you’ll know how rare this is. Most of the time, it feels like you’re shouting into the impossible , hoping someone will look up from their clipboard and actually hear you. But today? Someone did. 🫶

So yeah, miracles do happen. ( ish) Mondays are still the worst, but for once, I came out of one feeling like maybe, things might get better.

Now, if only I could bottle that consultant’s attitude and hand it out to every other NHS consultant I’ve ever met. 🤣🖕 …A girl can dream.!














Sunday Reflections / Sunday Service.Chaos, Calm & a Bit of Crazy 💫What a week, eh?! 🤣❄️⛄️Cold, icy, snowy, and yep unden...
12/01/2025

Sunday Reflections / Sunday Service.
Chaos, Calm & a Bit of Crazy 💫

What a week, eh?! 🤣❄️⛄️

Cold, icy, snowy, and yep undeniably beautiful. Peaceful in some ways—well, as peaceful as it gets when the snow puts the brakes on everything. For someone like me, running on ADHD-powered chaos and Aries fire (aka permanent turbo mode), slowing down feels like actual torture. What even is this stillness nonsense? 🤷‍♀️

But here’s the thing—we can’t control the weather (trust me, I’ve tried), but we can try to control ourselves. Try being the keyword. Slowing down when life throws a Snow storm or Any Storm in our way ?
Yes, it’s an Absolute pain in the a*s. But maybe just maybe—it’s worth it.

To top it off, I had my second reiki session this week… and wow. ⭐️💚It’s starting to shift years of stuck emotions and stubborn old crap I didn’t even know was there, already! Turns out holding all that in really does mess with your body and mind (who knew?!). It sounds bonkers, but it’s starting to help.🙌

So now I’m sat here wondering… could this actually be the start of finding out who I am and what I’m meant to do? 🤦‍♀️🤣 Don’t roll your eyes at me! I know, I know—I sound like I’ve had one too many wines (sarcastic joke, obviously), but hear me out. For years, I’ve felt like I didn’t belong, like something was blocking me from finding my purpose and what I was doing. But now? Those walls are starting to crumble. Slowly.🙌

So here’s your Sunday reminder- Stop, Breathe & Laugh if you can. Scream into a pillow if you need to— we listen, we don’t judge! 🤣 Take it all in, even the messy bits.

Now off you go—enjoy the day and try not to slip on the ice! ❄️🤦‍♀️💫















Happy Friday, everyone!❄️🌅Nope, this isn’t another one of those “new year, new me” posts again.🤮I hate those. Honestly, ...
10/01/2025

Happy Friday, everyone!❄️🌅

Nope, this isn’t another one of those “new year, new me” posts again.🤮I hate those. Honestly, they make me gip! And don’t even get me started on all the fad diet/gym/weight/celery juice nonsense… who actually enjoys that? Way too much pressure. It’s hard enough just surviving the week without being told I need to suddenly transform into some perfect version of myself (I know, impossible, right? 😂). Let’s all just calm down and embrace who we actually are.

Here’s the deal- I’m not changing. I’m not trying to be anyone else or dramatically being a New person. I’m just growing. Growing is good. And if recovery’s taught me anything, it’s that growth isn’t about big, dramatic changes. It’s about taking things one day at a time, showing up for yourself, and knowing that even the tiniest step forward still counts.

And speaking of slowing down—how about this week’s snow and ice, eh? 🥶⛄️❄️Yes, it’s absolutely stunning. You know I’m a sucker for a winter wonderland. But let’s be real—it’s not been easy. Roads are like ice rinks, life’s slowed down to a crawl, and even walking to the shop feels like some kind of weird survival mission. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing? Sometimes life forces us to slow down, take a breather, and just be.

So, as we wrap up the first full week of the year, I’m reminding myself (and you) to just keep going—however that looks. Whether you’ve smashed the week, dragged yourself through it, or skidded across the ice trying not to land on your arse—😂 it’s all good. Growth isn’t perfect. Some days we thrive, some days we survive, and that’s okay.

Here’s to more baby steps, fewer wipeouts, and celebrating the little wins—even if it’s just getting through another cold, slippy day. So, stick the kettle on, get warm, and let’s keep moving forward. Slowly, steadily, and exactly as we are…. ( unless you are D*ck, stop being a D*ck - definitely change that 😂)

Love,

Me x ❄️🥶🙌















Let’s Talk About Alcohol and the Damage It Causes 🍸🥃Alcohol is everywhere. It’s so normalized in our society—pushed on u...
06/01/2025

Let’s Talk About Alcohol and the Damage It Causes 🍸🥃

Alcohol is everywhere. It’s so normalized in our society—pushed on us by shops, adverts, TV, and social events. But we don’t talk enough about the real damage it causes to so many people and families.

In Derbyshire alone, a record 157 people lost their lives last year because of alcohol. It’s heartbreaking, and it shows just how serious this issue is. Nationally, alcohol-related deaths are at their highest ever, with the pandemic making things even worse.

Take the Gavin and Stacey Christmas Special as an example—nearly every other scene showed drinking or people being drunk. I’ve spoken to so many people about how triggering it was for them. It just goes to show how deeply alcohol is ingrained in our culture, and most of us don’t even notice it.

For me, getting sober was the best gift I’ve ever given myself. I’m 5 years alcohol-free now, and I can honestly say it saved my life and my family from losing me. I’m so grateful I gave up alcohol in 2019 before COVID. I know that if I’d still been drinking during the pandemic, I wouldn’t be alive now. I’ll always be grateful I made that decision.

A huge thank you to anyone brave enough to share their story about this. These conversations matter—they help people feel less alone and might even give someone the courage to take the first step.

If you’re struggling, thinking about making a change, or just need someone to listen, you know where I am. You’re not alone. Let’s keep talking about this—it’s too important not to. ❤️








  ❄️✨You know the drill! Grab a brew, settle in, and have a read 🩷📖❄️ There’s something about snowfall that feels so dee...
05/01/2025

❄️✨
You know the drill! Grab a brew, settle in, and have a read 🩷📖

❄️ There’s something about snowfall that feels so deeply magical. I could honestly sit and watch it fall all day and night long. 🫶❄️⛄️ When those soft flakes begin to settle, the world slows down, everything quietens, and for a moment, there’s this rare, peaceful stillness.✨

Right now, I think we all need a little more of that calm—I know I certainly do. Life feels so loud and chaotic sometimes, and watching the snow reminds me to pause and just be.

And no, I don’t want to build a bloody snowman ❄️⛄️😂 (or snow person, before anyone starts 🤦‍♀️). I just want to sit by the window with a hot drink, watching it quietly fall, or maybe head out in the 4x4 with a coffee, just to soak in the beauty of it. 🫶 My body doesn’t handle the cold well, no matter how much I love looking at it.

It’s funny, really—🤣🔥 me being a fiery Aries who thrives on heat, and yet here I am, craving the tranquility of snow. 🌟 I just wish we had more of it!…. Like Snowed in totally , bucket loads of Snow ❄️ !!

Meanwhile, I bet Mozzdogs and Fresco’s are absolute carnage right now😂—The bread aisle wiped clean, milk shelves bare, loo roll gone, and everyone acting like it’s the apocalypse. 😂 But honestly, maybe we all just need to stop, slow down, and let the magic of the snow remind us how to find stillness again. We seem to have forgotten how to do that these days!

Enjoy your snowy Sunday, and soak up the calm while it lasts! ❄️🫶

P.S. To the stressed, tired parents gearing up for taking the devil crotch goblins on the morning school run after the holidays tomorrow … good luck. May the odds be ever in your favor. 🤣😂

And P.P.S. to the teachers praying for a snow day tomorrow—sending snowy vibes and prayers your way. ❄️🤣😝🤲

( 📸 Pic I took in December 2020 ❄️🫶)








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New Year- A Time to Begin as We Mean to Go On 🌟🤣(ish)This year, I’m making it all about healing. I know what you’re thin...
03/01/2025

New Year- A Time to Begin as We Mean to Go On 🌟🤣(ish)

This year, I’m making it all about healing. I know what you’re thinking …….“Haven’t you been doing that for years now?”

Yes, No Sh*t Sherlock I have.🤣Seven years, to be exact—especially the last four. But now, it’s time to stop paddling in the shallow end and dive headfirst into the deep end , the messy and tough deep end to tackle the hard nitty gritty shizzle.✨

This isn’t one of those “New year, new me” posts🤮😆—absolutely not! Yesterday marked the start of that next chapter, though.

Let’s be real, I’m still very much me😜—sarcastic, stubborn, headstrong, and running on coffee, chaos, and a bit of luck🔥🫶. This isn’t about reinventing the wheel-it’s more like lightening the load. A “New year, same me, but with less heavy baggage” vibe. Time to drop the pain, the anger, and those grudges I’ve been hoarding like they’re rare collectibles!!!

Step one on this adventure? A Reiki session with Reiki Wellbeing by Gary Brown ✨

What can I say about that session? Honestly, I’m still processing it, but wow. Gary, you’re not just a practitioner✨you’re an absolute angel. I’m so grateful our paths crossed, and I hope they always will. Thank you from the depths of my heart—you’re magic, an inspiration and I shall see you again soon .✨

So, here we are. The hard work starts now. Healing isn’t glamorous, is it (spoiler alert- it’s mostly ugly crying, snot and downing gallons of water—because apparently, hydration is key 🥴🤦‍♀️), but I’m ready…. I think !

Wishing you all a Happy New Year filled with growth, peace, and plenty of laughs to keep it all bearable. Here’s to moving forward—whether it’s baby steps, massive leaps, or that awkward shuffle when you trip and try to play it cool.😎

❤️Love S x










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So here it is..my last post of 2024.✨ ..Early 🫶😜What a year it’s been! At times it felt never-ending. It hasn’t been the...
30/12/2024

So here it is..my last post of 2024.✨
..Early 🫶😜

What a year it’s been! At times it felt never-ending. It hasn’t been the healthiest or easiest, and its definitely threw some curveballs my way. 😂There were moments of stress, anxiety, tears and days I’d rather forget—but we made it. (Just about!)😂

Amid the chaos, there were beautiful moments too and so many amazing people who helped me through—you know who you are. I don’t say it enough, but I Love you and I’m forever grateful.🫶

This Christmas, I got organized early to avoid any more burnout, and it’s been exactly what I needed- calm, peaceful, and doing F**k all😂. (weird for me) I used to dream of living like this—quiet and still.

In Recovery, you’re so used to fight-or-flight that stillness feels impossible. But we face it now, don’t we? We use the tools we’ve built to keep moving forward. I’m not where I want to be yet—maybe I never will be—but every day is progress.🙌

There won’t be a “New Year, New Me” post from me—no pressure, no gippy ridiculous resolutions 😂I’ll see you in 2025, no doubt. Same old me - ADHD, can’t-see-a-thing, chronically ill, half-deaf, alcoholic with an eating disorder, hot-headed, light-headed, tattoo-loving, An Aries , Dark humoured short-arse, perfectly imperfect, and unapologetically flawsome 😂😂

Thank you all for being part of my 2024. ✨

Here’s to 2025—please be kind. Let’s make it fun, calm, and full of good things. 🫶

So 2025 ✨- Bring it on, sugar tits!!!!!!😂✨😘💜💛🩷
Happy New Year 2 u Love Me x




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🌟   🌟Good morning, my beautifully imperfect, wonderfully human souls!Today’s word is Flawsome💜✨🩷 —the art of owning your...
29/12/2024

🌟 🌟

Good morning, my beautifully imperfect, wonderfully human souls!

Today’s word is Flawsome💜✨🩷
—the art of owning your flaws (I mean, I’ve got enough for a lifetime subscription and yes I’m writing a book about them all 🤣) while fully embracing your awesomeness. Forget perfection- it’s overrated and frankly, exhausting. Authenticity, Mon cheri—that’s the real shizzle we want .

Your quirks, scars, and glorious mishaps? They’re not flaws, they’re features of you. They tell your story—a story only you can tell. So, this week, strut boldly in your truth, knowing you’re loved exactly as you are.🫶Just Be You , it drives the haters mad 😜!!!

✨ Shine like the star you are, stumble if you must (bonus points for a dramatic recovery), and keep sassing it with flair. Be flawsome, and you’ll inspire others to do the same.

Blessings, laughter, copious amount of joy and unapologetic fabulousness to you this Sunday. Go out there and own it, Mon cheri. You’re divine.❤️💜🩷









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Happy Boxing Day! 🥊🎅🎄This pic is last night, just before the dramatic nosedive into bed—happy, content, and grateful 🫶. ...
26/12/2024

Happy Boxing Day! 🥊🎅🎄

This pic is last night, just before the dramatic nosedive into bed—happy, content, and grateful 🫶. Proud to say we smashed another Christmas Day sober! Yep, my 6th Christmas Day Booze Free !! ⭐️🍾

Christmas can be tricky because booze is everywhere. But we managed to give ourselves and our families the best gift ever —sobriety. 🎁 (And no hangovers. Bonus!😂👌)

On Christmas Eve, we nipped into Morrisons (aka Mozzdogs), and the booze aisle looked like the loo roll aisle during Covid—completely ransacked! 😂🍾

But the alcohol-free section? That was almost empty too! 🫶 I did a little squeal inside, knowing so many were having a booze-free Christmas this year. It made me smile and gave me all the warm, fuzzy vibes. 😂

Rewind to the drinking years, and Christmas for me looked more like this- Copious amounts of cava by 10 a.m, Sozzled and passing out before lunch, puking by mid-afternoon, starting again and blacking out by bed time. Now ? 🫶⭐️ It’s calmer, clearer, and SO much better. Real laughs, real memories, zero chaos.🫶

So Here’s to Boxing Day🥊🎅🎄
The PJs, the leftovers, the chocolate tins, the new smelly gift sets and the rubbish telly. Sending love to anyone finding this time tricky—one day at a time, you’ve got this! ❤️

Now, where’s that last slice of chocolate orange? 🍊 (Don’t panic, I’ve got six more stashed. Priorities right and it’s one of your 5 a day. 😂)

P.S Controversial I know 😂, but the G & S last episode ?? 🤷‍♀️……. It was alright. The last half , was the best bit of the whole special for me !!! … and we still don’t know what happened on the fishing trip ??? 😂🤦‍♀️🎣









? 😂🎄🤦‍♀️🎅

✨🎄 Dare I say it… I’m DONE and ready for Christmas! 😂🤶🎅🎄✨Who even am I?! Seriously, this year I don’t even know myself… ...
23/12/2024

✨🎄 Dare I say it… I’m DONE and ready for Christmas! 😂🤶🎅🎄✨

Who even am I?! Seriously, this year I don’t even know myself… but yep, it’s true. I’m DONE (I think 🤔) and ready for Santa to shimmy his jolly self down the chimney! 🎅

For the first time EVER, I’m not running around like a stressy raged wreck on Christmas Eve. No last-minute wrapping, no frantic supermarket dashes—just me, chilling with my nosecco and feeling slightly weird about it all.

But hey, I’m calling it a BIG baublelicious WIN! 🏆

Cheers to you, my fellow tinsel-tits 🤣😜 (or balls , whichever you are! 😂). Here’s to a fabulous, festive, and slightly calmer Christmas for us all! 🥂✨

Love Me🎄❤️

🎄 🎅

😂
🎁

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 - One Last Push 🤣We’re nearly there, everyone… I think! One last push, and we can make it through together.🫶I know we’r...
22/12/2024

- One Last Push 🤣

We’re nearly there, everyone… I think! One last push, and we can make it through together.🫶

I know we’re all feeling it right now—this time of year can be so overwhelming. Whether it’s-

• The Christmas rush, panic, and sheer craziness. 🎄⭐️🎅

• Feeling rough, run down, and absolutely exhausted (I know I am!).😴

• Struggling with the emotional weight this season can bring—missing loved ones, navigating tough memories, or simply not looking forward to Christmas. 💔

If this time of year feels difficult for you, that’s okay. You don’t need to feel pressured to be happy or festive if it doesn’t feel right. Do whatever you need to get through. Give yourself permission to grieve, rest, or simply take time for you. Remember, you’re not alone—there are always people willing to listen and help if you need support.🫶

Or maybe, it’s just the little crotch goblins driving you up the wall while you try to do it all! 😂 If you’re at your wit’s end, we see you. We’re all doing our best, and that’s enough.

Hang in there—one more push, and we’ve got this.💪

You’re not alone, and you’re doing amazing. 💜

😂🎄





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