18/10/2023
In the soft glow of the setting sun, our “yard people” converged, just as it had countless times before. Our fathers stood leaning against the fence, lost in political discourse, their eyes drifting to the evening's gentle commotion on the nearby street, as they were discussed the death of Bola Ige, who had died a week earlier. Meanwhile, we, the younger generation, came together for games and spirited conversations, often centered on movies and sports.
On this particular evening, I was busy impressing my younger neighbors with nuggets of loving your enemies. As I stood before my attentive audience, young dudes like Yusuf, Ibrahim, and Sunday sat on the bench, their eyes glued to my every gesture. “You do not have to fight to claim your space. “Maturity lies in walking away”, or so I though.
But, as fate would have it, an ominous presence shattered this gathering. Buga (Not real name) a name that sent shivers down the spines of all who knew him, walked into the compound. Buga was a walking nightmare, a relentless bully who left a trail of tears and despair in his wake. He showed no reverence for age or position, young or old. And, unfortunately, I had felt the brunt of his cruelty on numerous occasions.
As Buga's shadow loomed over our yard, a heavy blanket of fear descended upon us. His mocking words and taunts pierced the air, paralyzing all in his vicinity.
“Tunde, shey o Ya were ni? Shey Oo gbo pe Mo n pe lati ita ni?” (Tunde, are you m ? Can’t you hear me calling you from far away?)
And suddenly, without warning, his mighty fist collided with my chest, leaving me stunned and breathless.
In that fleeting moment, our adult onlookers reacted in diverse ways. My father's eyes met mine, and without uttering a single word, he “looked away”. Daddy Kubura pretended not to notice, while brother Rasaki grappled with his own inner turmoil, teetering on the edge of intervening.
Turning towards my young disciples, I saw their innocent faces contorted by fear, their innocence shattered by this sudden chaos. In an instant, an adrenaline rush surged through my veins, and two decades of gentle composure melted away. I had lost touch with the lessons I preached. The thought of walking away seemed impossible.
"Buga? Emi?" I stammered.
For the first time in my life, I understood what it meant to "lose it."
In a whirlwind of fury and desperation, I found myself entangled in a violent struggle with Buga. My body moved instinctively, and I retaliated with a powerful elbow to his jaw, a forceful head-b^tt that left his nose in ruins. It was a frenzied dance of rage, and I couldn't find the strength to stop. Buga attempted to strike back, but I eluded his fist, leading it to crash through a windowpane, g@shing his hand.
With a vice-like grip on his thro@t, I felt the bon3s in Buga's n3ck cr@ck, a gru3some sound that couldn't deter me. His breath grew labored, yet I couldn't release my hold. It took the combined efforts of four or five men to finally pull me away from him.
That was the day I finally broke free from Buga's oppressive tyranny. We did not exchange a single word for 14 long years. When our paths crossed again, we greeted each other with respect, exchanged phone numbers, but the connection remained shallow.
I knew that my father's unspoken gesture had been my driving force that day. He had raised no timid child, and he had let me fight my own battle. Though we never spoke of the incident, I could sense that he was secretly proud of my determination to break free from Buga's grasp.
The Bible's wisdom about answering fools according to their folly had never rung truer (Proverbs 26:4-5) . Violence was not a path I advocated, but there are times in life when one must muster the courage to stand up, say "NO," and fight their way through the challenges life throws their way. Whether it's in the realm of governance, an abusive relationship, a place of work or learning, or even within the confines of a sacred space like a church, there are battles where divine intervention is not the answer. Sometimes, you must find your stones, sling your shots, and claim your freedom.
