Lady Lewa

18/08/2025

Halle Berry once said: “I think, you know, historically, women-as we age-we just get old. Men get ‘sexy’. They get gray hair, they’re silver foxes. We’re just...OLD. And we’re haggard. And society tells us or has told us that our time is up—we should go out to pasture. We’re done with our baby making years, we’ve been viewed as that being our primary purpose for being here...is to bear children. And when we’re done with that at 35-40, there’s nothing left for us. Well, I know that WE’RE JUST GETTING OUR GROOVE. We’re just starting. But women don’t really understand that yet because society has told us something different. So they don’t want to talk about being a midlifer because that means there’s no place for them. They’re not wanted. So, it’s about us women reclaiming that narrative, and changing the way we’re seen throughout the entirety of our life. You know, aging is a privilege. It is a privilege to age, and we should see it that way. We should feel that way about getting older. WE SHOULD FEEL LIKE THE CROWN JEWELS OF OUR SOCIETY.”

18/08/2025

This poster captures recent pondering on friendships 💛

While this shift isn’t dependent on age, from recent conversations with people approaching their 30s and beyond, I’ve noticed how much their definition of friendship has evolved, and how much harder making new friends can feel.

In our early years, friendships often formed out of proximity. You bonded over shared classes, late nights out, or simply being in the same stage of life. But as the years pass, those easy circumstances fall away, and what we want in a friend changes, too.

We start to seek alignment. It’s no longer enough that we once laughed at the same inside jokes or went to the same parties. We want aligned values, vulnerability, and genuine care instead of just filling space in each other’s calendars.

Priorities also shift. Some people raise kids while others live child-free. These differences don’t make one path better than the other, but they can create distance if the effort to connect deeply isn’t mutual. A friendship without presence, trust, or authenticity begins to feel more like an obligation than a source of nourishment.

Making friends later in life feels like learning to swim in deeper water. The stakes feel higher because time feels more precious. You can’t afford to wade in slowly, building intimacy through countless casual encounters. Instead, you find yourself having surprisingly honest conversations with near-strangers, both of you wondering: Is this person safe enough for my real self?

What becomes clear is that friendship in adulthood isn’t about the number of people around you, but about the quality of the energy they bring. We become less tolerant of relationships that drain us, and more protective of the few that genuinely uplift us.

Perhaps the most beautiful thing about adult friendship is how it teaches us that intimacy doesn’t require history. You can meet someone at 35 and, within months, feel more understood by them than by people who’ve known you for decades. There’s something special about being chosen for who you are now, not who you were when you had fewer choices about who that might be.

14/08/2025

💛

14/08/2025

Thank you Jesus 🙏🏽

13/08/2025

13/08/2025

💛

I didn’t expect a book with war in the title to speak so deeply to my heart as a woman navigating ambition, self-doubt, and power. But The Art of War for Women by Chin-ning Chu, narrated with crisp precision by Marguerite Gavin, wasn’t about battles in boardrooms or shouting matches with bosses. It was about strategy of the soul. It met me where I stood—wanting to grow, to lead, but without sacrificing who I am.

The voice of the narrator was calm but firm, like a mentor who won't let you hide from your own strength. Chin-ning Chu didn’t teach me how to compete like a man. She taught me how to lead as a woman. Here are 11 lessons that stood out like fireflies in a dark field.

1. Power begins with clarity
She made me see how most of our struggles come not from the world, but from our own uncertainty. When you're clear on who you are and what you want, strategy becomes second nature. Confusion is the real enemy.

2. Emotional detachment is strength, not coldness
This was a tough one. Chu explains that mastering emotions doesn't mean suppressing them. It means not letting them control your decisions. I saw how often I confused kindness with self-sacrifice.

3. Timing is everything
Acting at the wrong time, even with the right idea, can backfire. She showed how waiting, observing, and choosing your moment is often wiser than pushing ahead. That lesson slowed me down—in the best way.

4. Your battlefield is your mind
Chu insists the external world is just a mirror. The real territory to conquer is inside. That made me start watching my thoughts more closely, like a general mapping terrain.

5. Women are born strategists
We’ve been told we're too emotional or too soft to lead. She flips that. Our empathy, intuition, and multi-layered thinking? Those are weapons. I began to feel proud of what I once saw as flaws.

6. Never underestimate your opponent—or yourself
She warns against dismissing others, but also warns against shrinking. Respect the strength of others, yes, but never forget your own. That balance? Life-changing.

7. Don’t seek approval—command respect
This one stung. I saw how much I craved validation, especially in male-dominated spaces. Chu reminded me: don’t wait to be invited. Step into your space like you belong—because you do.

8. Use silence as a tool
Sometimes the most powerful move is not speaking. Letting the silence do the heavy lifting. I tried this in a tense meeting. It worked. She was right.

9. Strategy over struggle
Chu doesn't romanticize suffering. She urges women to stop grinding themselves into dust. With the right strategy, we don’t have to exhaust ourselves. We just have to be deliberate.

10. Femininity is not weakness
She redefines power. Not as aggression or domination, but as graceful confidence. Femininity isn’t something to suppress. It’s a secret weapon.

11. You are your most important alliance
At the end of the day, you either betray yourself or you stand with yourself. That was her call to arms—to trust myself fully. And I’ve never forgotten it.

The Art of War for Women didn’t teach me how to fight harder. It taught me how to stop fighting the wrong war. It gave me the confidence to win with wisdom, and the permission to lead without apology.

Book/Audiobook: https://amzn.to/4llpHaZ

You can access the audiobook when you register on the Audible platform using the link above.

12/08/2025

💛