22/09/2026
I think a lot about women and s*xuality. Not s*x exactly. Sexuality.
That feeling of living inside your body. Feeling connected to it. Comfortable in it. Maybe even turned on by being you.
And I wonder how many women actually feel that way.
Because from such a young age, our bodies become something other people have access to.
We take pills to change our hormones. We have smear tests and examinations. We spread our legs under fluorescent lights while someone inserts a cold plastic thing inside us and tells us to relax (always helpful). Then, for some of us, comes fertility treatment. Pregnancy. Childbirth. Breastfeeding. Suddenly there are hands everywhere. People discussing your va**na while you're lying right there.
And the strange thing is that none of this is strange. It’s normal. Necessary, much of the time.
But I wonder what it does to us.
I think it makes you very good at leaving your body.
You lie there and look at the ceiling and detach yourself just enough to get through whatever is happening to you.
And then we wonder where our s*xuality went.
We say we’ve “lost our libido.” We blame hormones. Age. Children. Stress.The fact that our b***s are now looking slightly more south than they did in 2004.
And yes, all of those things can matter. But I think there is something else too.
Maybe some of us have spent so many years experiencing our bodies as something to be examined, managed, judged, penetrated, changed and looked at that we have forgotten what it feels like to experience them from the inside.
Not what does my body look like?
What does my body FEEL like? What gives me pleasure? What makes me feel sensual?
For me, movement was key... dancing in fact, especially pole dancing.
Not because I suddenly became s*xy. I was terrible at it! 😉 But because for the first time in ages I stopped looking at my body as an object and started feeling it.
And slowly, my body started becoming mine again.
I think we talk a lot about women needing to love their bodies. But I’m not sure love is even the first step.
Maybe first we need to come back into them.
To stop standing outside ourselves, looking in. And start living inside ourselves again.
