SoZ Satire incorporating The Whitechapel Whelk

08/07/2025

THE VERY WORST OF SOZ SATIRE #367

28/06/2025

THE VERY WORST OF SOZ SATIRE (2017)

25/06/2025

The Very Worst of The Whitechapel Whelk (2016)

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22/05/2025

A 50-year-old Whitechapel woman was last night charged with wounding with intent following a horrific axe attack on her husband. Tracy Dell, a hairdresser from Dock Street, allegedly flew into a rage and began hacking at her husband, Toby, after he started talking during the vibrato finale to ELO's hit song, Mr Blue Sky. As she was led away from their home by armed police officers, she continued to berate her husband, shouting: 'He knew that was my favourite bit, the bastard....

A 50-year-old Whitechapel woman was last night charged with wounding with intent following a horrific axe attack on her husband. Tracy Dell, a hairdresser from Dock Street, allegedly flew into a ra…

20/05/2025

East London was reeling yesterday following an Israeli air force attack on The Royal London Hospital, Whitechapel, which left many dead and wounded. A spokesperson for the Israeli Defence Force told newsmen: 'Our intelligence had indicated that Hamas fighters were sheltering in the hospital, which made it a legitimate target. 'It's unfortunate if a few non-combatants were killed, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles, I'm afraid'...

East London was reeling yesterday following an Israeli air force attack on The Royal London Hospital, Whitechapel, which left many dead and wounded. A spokesperson for the Israeli Defence Force tol…

03/05/2025

Mr Dell's dog pictured putting a brave face on it last night An East London man has been arrested on suspicion of murder after he reported finding a twelfth dead body in a week while out walking his dog Toby Dell, 35, a forklift truck driver from Whitechapel, was yesterday remanded in custody at Horseferry Road magistrates' court and will appear at The Old Bailey in December....

Mr Dell’s dog pictured putting a brave face on it last night An East London man has been arrested on suspicion of murder after he reported finding a twelfth dead body in a week while out walk…

02/05/2025

DEER DAYLY MAYALI WOZ VERRY HAPEE TWO SEE THAT THE REEFORME PARTEE DID VERRY WEL INN THE LOKAL COWNNSEL ELECSHUNS TWODAY!THEYR LEEDER, NI**LE FARRAGE, IS A BOOTEEFUL ANGLE, SENT DARN FRUM HEVEN TWO KEEP AWL THE SOOTIES ART OV OWR WUNDERFUL CUNTREE.NOWW THAT HEE IZ THE GUVERNOR OF AWL THE COWNCELS, ALL THE DARKIES WIL BEE SENT BAK TO THERE OWN CUNTREES WAIR THEY BEELONG!...

DEER DAYLY MAYALI WOZ VERRY HAPEE TWO SEE THAT THE REEFORME PARTEE DID VERRY WEL INN THE LOKAL COWNNSEL ELECSHUNS TWODAY!THEYR LEEDER, NI**LE FARRAGE, IS A BOOTEEFUL ANGLE, SENT DARN FRUM HEVEN TWO…

25/03/2025

A 54-year-old Whitechapel man was celebrating last night after accepting a five-million-pound bid for a stool passed by The Queen Mother in a Buckingham Palace toilet in 1963. Toby Dell, who was working as a sewer man throughout the 1960s, rescued the stool from an outflow pipe leading into The King's Scholar Pond Sewer and took it home where he has kept it in an airtight display case ever since....

A 54-year-old Whitechapel man was celebrating last night after accepting a five-million-pound bid for a stool passed by The Queen Mother in a Buckingham Palace toilet in 1963. Toby Dell, who was wo…

22/03/2025

Evenin' all! Policing a sprawling and diverse city like London can be an extremely demanding and even perilous business, particularly in the current uncertain international political climate. Take last Wednesday for example. We were playing cards in the canteen at the station when we received a shout that a well-known Russian dissident and outspoken opponent of President Putin had been found dead in suspicious circumstances in a local park....

Evenin’ all! Policing a sprawling and diverse city like London can be an extremely demanding and even perilous business, particularly in the current uncertain international political climate.…

18/03/2025

These magnificent lead-weighted boots will ensure that, unlike the late boyband icon, Liam Payne, you will remain sure-footed on any hotel balcony irrespective of how unsteady you are due to alcohol or drugs. Retailing at only £30,000 per pair, these North Korean factory-crafted boots will be the envy of your friends and family alike, especially if they've recently toppled from a balcony....

These magnificent lead-weighted boots will ensure that, unlike the late boyband icon, Liam Payne, you will remain sure-footed on any hotel balcony irrespective of how unsteady you are due to alcoho…

15/03/2025

Dear Sir The old saying goes that, 'men are from Mars', which in my husband's case is absolutely true as he leaves for work in a flying saucer and doesn't come back for his tea for eighteen months. Tracy Dell Whitechapel Earth. *************************** Dear Sir I have ensured that my toast always lands butter-side-up by leaving it un-buttered and coating my kitchen floor with Kerrygold Finest Irish Spread....

Dear Sir The old saying goes that, ‘men are from Mars’, which in my husband’s case is absolutely true as he leaves for work in a flying saucer and doesn’t come back for his …

08/12/2024

In this picture of Cable Street in East London in 1910 we can see a young girl testing the road surface for the treacherous sinkholes that were so common in those days. If the surface gave way under the child's weight, the adults would then move a little further down the street before attempting a crossing. It is estimated that over 40,000 children under five lost their lives in this manner in the East London Borough of Tower Hamlets alone, prompting the mayor to issue a statement in 1912 claiming, 'It's what they would have wanted'

In this picture of Cable Street in East London in 1910 we can see a young girl testing the road surface for the treacherous sinkholes that were so common in those days. If the surface gave way unde…