31/08/2026
THINGS NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT RAISING CHILDREN IN THE UK 😂🇬🇧 — PART 7
The first day Chimusilenknu went to a birthday party and I almost became the celebrant’s mother. 😭😂
Chimusilenknu got invited to a birthday party and the invitation said:
2:00pm – 4:00pm.
I looked at it and said, “Okay, no wahala. We will be there by 2.”
But tell me why I took this birthday invitation personally? 😂
From morning, I was already preparing myself like I was attending an important family function.
Hair? Done.
Outfit? Proper.
Face? Fresh.
Everything was giving “responsible mother.” 😂
I looked at myself in the mirror and said, “Ama, you are looking good today o.” 😂
We got to the party…
And immediately I noticed people were looking at me. 👀
I was smiling back like, “Good afternoon.” 😂
But inside my head I was thinking, “Why is everybody looking at me like this?”
Then I looked around properly.
Children were running around.
Parents were casually dressed.
One mum looked like she had just finished school run. 😭
Another person was in trainers and a hoodie.
And me?
I had entered looking like I came to represent the entire family at the birthday ceremony. 😭😭😂
That was when I realised
I had overdressed.
Not small overdressing o.
I was looking like the mother of the celebrant. 😂😂
I wanted to quietly ask somebody, “Please, is this actually the birthday party?” 😭
Because why did nobody tell me this was a come-as-you-are situation? 😂
Then I discovered another thing.
The time on the invitation is actually serious.
2pm means 2pm.
Not 2:15.
Not “we are almost there.”
Not “wait for us.”
2pm.
And the shocking part?
4pm means 4pm too! 😭😂
At 3:55pm, you can already feel the party packing itself up.
By 4pm, everybody is gone.
Finished.
Completed.
Thank you and goodbye. 😂
I was looking around thinking, “Wait o… are we really leaving already?” 😭
Then the food came.
Chimusilenknu got his food, drink and cake, and before I could even fully settle down…
They had eaten. 😂
Food.
Cake.
Playtime.
Done.
I said, “Ah ah, so we have finished?” 😭😂
Then came the party pack.
Chimusilenknu collected that little bag and suddenly it became his most valuable possession.
“Mummy, don't touch it.”
“Mummy, this one is mine.”
“Mummy, look what they gave me!”
I said, “Please carry your party pack and let's go before they change their mind.” 😂😂😂
The funniest part?
I spent the whole time thinking I was attending a birthday party…
Only to realise I had attended a two-hour professionally organised children's event. 😭😂
There was an arrival time.
There was an exit time.
There was food.
There was cake.
There was a party pack.
And there was absolutely NO EXTENSION. 😂
Me, I'm still learning. 😭😂
I told myself, next time any of my children gets invited to a birthday party, I already know what I'm doing.
I will check the time.
I will check the location.
And most importantly…
I will check my outfit again because I refuse to look like the celebrant’s mother when I am just somebody’s guest. 😂😂😂
UK mums, please tell me…
What was your first birthday party experience like? Abi na only me waka come? 😂😭👇🏾
