03/08/2025
🎧 Why your mate Scotty probably shouldn’t DJ your wedding…
It all sounded like a great idea at the time:
“Scotty DJs at the local boozer — he’ll do it for £100 and a few drinks!”
What could go wrong?
⸻
6 months to go-
The bride starts sending playlists, song requests, dancefloor must-haves, a do not play list and voice notes explaining “the vibe.”
Scotty says “yeah yeah, no worries”… and then completely forgets about them.
⸻
3 months to go
The venue emails asking for:
✅ Public Liability Insurance
✅ PAT Testing
✅ Risk Assessment
Scotty’s reply?
“Do I really need all that just to play Dirty Dancing megamix?”
Also quickly googles what a risk assessment is.
⸻
1 month to go
The bride hires a sax player.
Now the sax guy is emailing Scotty about linking into his system and sending him another list of songs.
Scotty’s wondering if he’s somehow become the musical director of a wedding band.
⸻
1 week to go
The bride’s mum rings.
“We’re organising a surprise flash mob — can you handle the music and the timing?”
Scotty says “of course”… while Googling what a flash mob actually is.
⸻
3 days to go
The photographer reaches out:
“What lighting are you using for the first dance?”
“Also, no lasers — can you confirm?”
Scotty: “Just got my green and red disco lights. They kind of flash when they want to.”
Confidence: low. Stress level : High
⸻
2 days to go, the bride has a special request:
“Can you mix ‘Forever’ by Chris Brown into our first dance song?”
Scotty’s thinking: “I thought I just pressed play?”
⸻
📞 The day before the wedding
Scotty texts: “Sorry, I’ve come down with something.”
The bride’s in tears.
Now she’s panicking, trying to find a professional DJ with 24 hours to go.
⸻
💡 Moral of the story:
Scotty’s a top lad and a good DJ down the local. But he’s not a wedding DJ.
Let him enjoy the buffet and a pint.
Leave the music and everything else that comes with it to someone who knows what they’re doing — and whose lights don’t overheat after 10 minutes
