
02/10/2025
Bloke Banged Up After Sucking Off 60-Year-Old’s T**s for Ten Minutes
You couldn’t make this up. A lad from Caernarfon, 32 years old, has just been jailed after sneaking back to see a woman nearly twice his age — and at one point, straight up breastfeeding off her like it was dinner time at nursery.
Michael Jones wasn’t even supposed to be near her. He had a restraining order, proper legal ban, but still kept turning up like a bad smell. Three times this summer he broke it, and one of those times he got his mouth round her chest like he was back in the pram. Ten minutes of it. In silence. Let that sink in.
When the cops asked why, he basically said he does it to “get back at his mum.” Said he’s got a thing for older women’s b***s. Man’s got issues deep enough to dig a tunnel.
The poor woman told police she couldn’t cope with the stress anymore. Said it was messing with her health and she wanted him nowhere near her.
Now he’s been handed 15 months inside — three for breaking the order, plus another twelve from an old sentence that finally caught up with him. Judge stretched his ban from seeing her all the way to 2030.
So yeah. Bloke’s sat in a cell, probably still thinking about milk he never got.