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Raven Starr Rains, Norwich (2025)

02/08/2025

Mindset is everythinggggg!! I can not and will not stress that enough

Recently I've had quite a few comments/questions/compliments on how I look, people asking what I do or what I did to get started on my journey to living a healthier lifestyle - and what do I tell them?

I started with my mindset. I started by working on creating mental wellness, eliminating various limiting beliefs, and shifting my views about physical fitness - BEFORE getting more serious with my goals etc

As a girlie who has suffered with various E.D's throughout her life, it was imperative that I fixed my mindset around exercise and food first. I needed to shift my mindset, before I could really start to take my next steps

Reading self-development books has helped me hugely. I had never read books before late last year, and now I'm obsessed with reading. I just love to learn more about myself, my behaviour patterns, what my triggers are, how to self-regulate, learning healthy coping mechanisms - and so on and so forth

Podcasts have also been so insightful, and I've learnt so much from various people on various podcasts. I've really listened to what these successful people have said to start implementing into your life, and remained consistent

I've done so many mindset exercises, breathwork techniques, I've challenged myself more intellectually - etc

And once I'd done all of that, and now it's a part of my routine? Then I started working on some physical goals I wanted to achieve

I won't lie, when I first started running, it was to get a bit fitter - but also subconsciously I just wanted to lose some weight. I was doing it for all the wrong reasons, and that's probably why I couldn't stay consistent with it for the first 6 months

Once I started to work on myself internally, and started to love myself and my body and became grateful for everything it can do for me - that's when the real changes started happening. That's where people (and myself) started seeing differences...

I'm no longer working out to lose weight - I'm working out because I LOVE myself. I want to treat my mind and my body with the love and care it deserves. And that's the mindset shift that changed everything ✨

21/07/2025

Regulating your nervous system is not an easy thing to be able to do, it takes a lot of self-awareness to be able to recognise where you may need to adjust yourself in certain areas

For me - I knew that I was heavily reliant on alcohol to 'give me a personality' and make me 'fun'. I always felt so anxious in social situations unless I was drinking. I had told my brain and my body that the only way to relieve that social anxiety was to get drunk. And eventually (a decade of binge-drinking later), I decided I needed to change the narrative and re-wire my brain and find other ways to regulate my nervous system and the way it reacts in certain scenarios

I am now 200 days alcohol-free ✨ and I've never felt more liberated in my life

I did need to put myself in some uncomfortable positions to be able to push through that stage, and into the place I'm at now. Don't get me wrong, I still get social anxiety at times around large groups of people - but I am a hell of a lot better at dealing with it now

For example:

• I take myself physically away from the situation if I begin to feel overwhelmed. Removing myself from the crowd for 10 minutes to have some quiet time to myself to re-centre and anchor myself works really well for me
• I focus on my breathing. I'll sit or stand somewhere I feel comfortable, and just breathe in through my nose, and out through my mouth. I'll usually count 4 deep breaths in, and 8 long breaths out. I don't make this obvious, and I doubt people even notice when I do it 9/10 times, but again - it just brings me back into the present moment and calms my heart rate down
• If I'm feeling jittery/restless or I'm overthinking - I'll do physical movement. I'll either go for a walk, run, swim or the gym. But this can be absolutely any physical activity that you enjoy
• Cold exposure therapy and wild swimming for me also helps massively. Exposing yourself to cold water, and overcoming that mental battle brings me a kind of focus I can't explain to you unless you've experienced it yourself. The clarity you feel afterwards is honestly unmatched to anything else

You can decide to change your nervous system whenever you choose to put in the work ✨

12/07/2025

"People don't change" is a saying I have really come to dislike

I dislike it because although in some aspects I understand why people say it, I've been guilty of saying it myself, it's quite simply not true. Not in all cases

We all come from different backgrounds and walks of life, have all had varying upbringings and been surrounded by different environments

But thinking that you have to remain the same person you've always been for the sake of comfort, familiarity or because it's what you've been told - is utter nonsense

I say this has someone who has changed quite drastically over the last 6 months

I am still me - but I am a better version
• I'm a more patient friend
• I'm a more understanding sister
• I'm a more empathetic daughter
• I choose my words more wisely
• I manage my thoughts better
• I can recognise and respond more appropriately when what I'm saying isn't correct
• I try to put myself in other people's shoes before assuming
• I try not to jump to conclusions
• I now look for the best in people, and not dwell on their flaws (because who tf am I to judge others?!)

My lifestyle habits have also changed (improved) quite dramatically

I've gone from drinking alcohol 3 or 4 times a week for no apparent reason - to cutting out alcohol completely

I've gone from being someone who didn't get out of bed until 10/11am - to someone who gets up at 7am to go for a run

I've gone from someone who ate whatever she wanted whenever she wanted - to someone who thinks more consciously about the meals she eats

I could honestly go on forever, but I won't

I just wanted to say that if you're not happy with who you are or how your life looks... Then YOU have the power and the ability to change that!

YOU are in control of YOUR own life - and you get to decide what kind of person you want to be 🫶🏻

02/07/2025

03/07/25 - I am officially ✨ 6 MONTHS SOBER ✨

I haven't touched a drop of alcohol for six consecutive months... And that is something I am incredibly proud of myself for. I have seen and felt so many changes in myself, not just physically but mentally too. The energy and mindset shift I've had is craaazy

Now, obviously these are progress pictures of my body and how I have physically changed; so I'll touch on that first

I haven't had drastic changes (aside from both my hair colour and skin colour getting far more orange😅😂), I've gotten more toned, less bloated and slightly thinner. I have also been running semi-regularly alongside going T-total, however my diet has changed all that much. But what has changed the most? The way I now FEEL about myself

I now feel sooo much more confidence in my own skin than ever before. I quite like how I look, and I also quite like who I am as a person - which is something I never thought I'd say. I've always been so critical of myself and have often mistreated myself because I didn't like "me". But today? Now? I can confidently say that I like myself... That I love myself. I love the woman I am turning into, because that person is taking better care of herself, of the people around her, and is always actively working on creating the best life possible for herself

Sobriety has taught me so very much. It's taught me a lot about myself. It's taught me a lot about control. It's taught me a lot about temptations. It's taught me a lot about family history. It's taught me a lot about addiction. It's taught me a lot about habits. It's taught me a lot about what I do and what I don't want in my life

I am now half way into my promise to myself. My promise to go one full year, 12 whole months of not drinking alcohol. I wanted to prove to myself that I could, and I also wanted to learn who I was outside of the fake confidence and inhibitions that alcohol gave me

I'm not sure if I'll be fully sober forever, or if I'll maybe one day resort to a "sober-ish" lifestyle, but I know for damn sure that I never want to be drunk again. I never want to feel the effects of a hangover. I never want to be out of control of my own actions. I want to live happily and healthier for as long as I can; and taking alcohol out of my life so far has brought in so much more good than I ever thought possible

Here's to the next 6 months - getting me to the big 365 days milestone 🫶🏻✨

Orange Juice - Noah Kahan
"You said my heart has changed and my soul has changed - and my heart, and my heart
That my face has changed, and I haven't drank in six months... on the dot"

01/07/2025

We're officially in month 7 of the year today (where has all that time gone?!) - so here's what the last 6 months have consisted of for me, and what I've focused my energy into:

My mental health - I have well and truly taken care of myself and my mind from the beginning of this year. I've done so much inner work on myself it's actually insane. I've read, a lot. I've listened to countless podcasters that talk about various areas I wanted to improve on. I've done lots of mind work and meditation practices. I've listened to my body when it's telling me I need to take better care of myself. I've made sure I am taking care of ME first, because only then are you able to take care of others in the deepest, purest form without draining yourself in the process

Sobriety - from midnight on 02/07/25 (so, 03/07/25)... I'll be SIX MONTHS SOBER 🥹 now that, is something I'd never, ever of thought I could do. It hasn't been a smooth ride in the slightest. The first 2 months? Bliss. Pure and utter euphoria. Month 3? Hell. Month 4? Also hell. It gradually got better, then I faced more challenges, and now I feel I've got a much better understanding of my brain, how to overcome the temptations and keep to my promise to myself. I'm very fortunate that I have the best support system around me too, and I'll always be thankful for you all

Running - did you guys know that I run?? I don't think I talk about it much... 🙈😅 But in all honestly, this is also something I never thought I would develop such a passion for. I've never had a hobby that I wanted to stick to other than dancing, and that turned into my career, and then I found my love for running. It's an ongoing journey that I just fall more and more in love with. Again, like with sobriety, it hasn't always been easy, and I haven't always loved it. But I now love myself enough to remain consistent and dedicated to the process

I've also focused a lot of my time and energy into practicing gratitude, building my future, and prioritising my closest friends and family.

All of these things have allowed me to live such a beautiful life over the last 6 months, and for anyone wanting more out of their own life... Drop me a message✨

01/07/2025

Send me a message if you're interested in learning more ✨

24/06/2025

Today's ted talk is an uncomfortable subject

Taking accountability for your actions - means putting your ego to the side, and being able to admit when you're in the wrong/have done wrong

This is something I've had to work really hard on over the past year, because admitting that you're wrong instead and apologising is a lot harder than just making excuses for your behaviour and trying to justify yourself

It really is something that I believe takes a lot of courage, strength and skill to be able to recognise when actually; you did wrong. It is super uncomfortable to admit, and even more uncomfortable to try and reconcile - because sometimes you're not able to

Absolutely no human is perfect. No one's actions or words are correct 100% of the time. And that's okay - the important thing is being able to reflect and recognise when you've been the person in the wrong, and to try and make amends. Again, this doesn't mean the other person or people will forgive you - but you need to be able to be able to forgive yourself in order to move forward. The only thing you're able to control, are your own words, actions and responses; not other people's. So, if you've done wrong and you realise it - own your sh*t. Say sorry. And move past it

The ego is a terrible thing which will always fight to make you believe you're always in the right; but sometimes that just isn't the truth. Do the inner work. Learn how to be better. How to do better. Educate yourself, and you'll live a more authentic and peaceful life

A message to anyone in my past that I've ever hurt, intentionally or not - I am truly sorry. I've learnt a lot about myself this year; my triggers, my toxic behaviour patterns that I'm working incredibly hard to break, my childhood trauma that's followed me into adulthood - all of it has come out in different ways and to different people throughout the years, and I'm so sorry if you were someone I took it out on. 2025 has been astronomically life changing and eye opening for me, and I've done a lot of self-reflection and am working my absolute best to not affect other people with my own baggage anymore. I am learning, I am growing and again - I am sorry ❤️‍🩹

21/06/2025

Down time is so vital in maintaining good mental stability, which also keeps your physical health in good condition too

I was always a heavy "on the go" person, for most of my life. I didn't know how to slow down, or when to recognise that I needed a break

My body would constantly be in pain, I'd always have some kind of illness/cold, and I'd feel fatigued 24/7

In the past 6 months, I've begun learning balance. Actual balance between all of the things I want in my life. I've found a flexible job that allows me to adjust my schedule according to my needs and commitments elsewhere. I'm also building up an online business which will enable me to live even more freely in the future (although I'm already doing that somewhat now, I know it'll be like this tenfold in a few years time). I make time for my family and closest friends. I don't let work consume me. I make sure I'm taking care of my mental and physical health FIRST

Everyone's schedule is different. Everyone has different commitments. Everyone has different priorities - so it's important that you acknowledge what's most important to you, and find a way to make your work/life balance ✨better✨
There is always room for improvement, and there is always a way to make it happen if you're willing to put in the effort that's required

Take time to rest, re-charge and re-centre yourself whenever you feel you need it. Don't put it off, you are important and deserve to treat yourself like you are 🫶🏼

16/06/2025

Stepping into your authentic self - what do I mean by this? And how can you do it?

For me, I never *truly* knew who I was - up until this year. The last 6 months have been undeniably the most transformational months of my entire life

I didn't feel like I knew what my purpose in life was. I didn't feel as though I fully knew what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't feel confident within myself - despite my exterior appearing fiercely confident (I'm a trained actor, and I've been masking my entire life and have gotten pretty good at pretending). I didn't particularly like who I was either, as I knew I wasn't the best version of myself and I knew I had more potential, but I didn't know how to bring that side out of me

So, what did I do to begin stepping into my authentic self?

First - I recognised there needed to be changes. Changes to myself, my actions and my lifestyle

Second - I took the first step into my self-development journey by joining an online community that encourages you to be the healthiest and happiest version of yourself. The mentorship and guidance I've received has been life changing for me

Third - I started making moves. I began doing the work to becoming a better person. I've now read countless self-help books, listened to an obscene amount of podcasts that are all to do with growth, development, business, mindset and re-wiring your brain to stop your bad habits and replace them with healthy ones. And I've remained CONSISTENT with this! This isn't something you can do a couple times and expect change, it's an ongoing journey, and once you get started with it and begin to see the changes to your life - you won't want to stop!

Fourth - I've been focusing much more on my mental and physical health as one. I truly believe that in order to look after yourself physically, you need to also be looking after yourself mentally. For example, I'm now a runner, and I don't think I'd have gotten this far with it if I hadn't of also been taking care of my mind as well. I now have various practices I do on a regular basis to keep my nervous system calmer and more well-balanced

These are all things that ANYONE can do - if you really want it enough ✨

05/05/2025

Worthing Half Marathon 2025 🏃🏼‍♀️

Strava clocked it at 2:02:09, chip clocked it at 2:05:03 - and either way, I'm bloody proud of that time for my first ever race 🥹

I ran with the 2h pacers for the first 15k - but it got progressively more difficult to maintain that pace as the distance increased. Nonetheless, it was a PR/PB for me, and I'm extremely proud 💪🏼

And if you think I'm lying about how much I LOVE running - well these pictures will prove to you just how much I enjoy it😅 I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. Runners high is real, and I think I prove it here! 🫶🏼

30/04/2025

Solitude - something I'd never really experienced before, at least not fully, until this year

Going into a little storytime now so hold tight:

I had never really been alone much growing up. I was in 3 back to back long term relationships from the age of 13 to 23 - so I spent a decade of my adolescence and early adulthood with another person closely by my side. Which had both positive and negative affects on me and how I perceived myself and the world around me.

I would describe my attachment style back then as anxious attachment - in short, I needed to be around my partner quite a lot, have heaps of reassurance, and just generally relied on that person to make me happy - rather than trying to create that for myself first. I am actively working on creating a more secure attachment style, so that I don't drag my past insecurities surrounding relationships into my next one.

Now don't get me wrong, I still very much enjoy doing activities with others. All of the hobbies I have - running, walking, hiking, wild swimming and just general exploring; I would love to experience with another person. And when I do, I do find more comfort in it. However, my friends and family also have lives of their own, and aren't always available or up for doing the things I want to do and when I want and am able to do them. So, the solution? I do it alone. I go anyway. I experience everything I know I LOVE doing, by myself.

This concept can be quite scary at first. It feels really daunting and overwhelming for people when they first even think about venturing off solo. But actually, you can find so much tranquility in it. Truly - speaking from experience!

I love my life and how I live it now. I love the freedom I'm so fortunate to have where I can go out to wherever I want, experience something new, make new connections and just generally live life fully. You don't HAVE to do everything with someone else. It's totally okay to be alone sometimes. And for me - it actually recharges me now. I feel such a sense of relief when I've maybe been overstimulated recently, and I'm able to drive somewhere pretty by myself, go outside in nature and just... Exist😌

Don't let fear hold you back✨

21/04/2025

Life goes by far too quickly for you to not be enjoying yourself

And you can find so many micro-moments of happiness if you're actively looking for them

Life can be tough sometimes, real tough. So that's why it's important to find happiness in what some people might describe as the 'mundane' things

The small moments that are huge for me and make me smile?

Watching sunrises and sunsets
Going for a walk or run somewhere pretty
Having a good cup of coffee in the sunshine
Reading a book out in nature
Going for a cold water dip outdoors
Smiling at strangers and them smiling back
Small sociable gatherings
Dogs running up to me when I'm out on a walk or adventure
Catching up with family or friends - regardless of if we do something or do nothing at all

I really do think there are sooo many micro-moments that you can find little pockets of happiness in. You just have to be looking out for them. And that's why practising gratitude is super important - it teaches you to look out for these moments and to truly embrace them and be thankful 🫶🏼

Raven Starr Rains

02/08/2025

21/07/2025

12/07/2025

02/07/2025

01/07/2025

01/07/2025

24/06/2025

21/06/2025

16/06/2025

05/05/2025

30/04/2025

21/04/2025

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