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Do you have any friends that look like him tag him her here
30/07/2025

Do you have any friends that look like him tag him her here

26/07/2025
Keir Starmer Hands Deepdale to Pakistan in “Cultural Exchange” Preston locals were left stunned today as Keir Starmer an...
25/07/2025

Keir Starmer Hands Deepdale to Pakistan in “Cultural Exchange”

Preston locals were left stunned today as Keir Starmer announced that Deepdale would be handed over to Pakistan as part of a new “global unity” initiative.

Thousands of immigrants are expected to be housed around Deepdale Stadium, offered free rent, food, and matchday pies, all courtesy of the taxpayer.

The Sir Tom Finney statue was mysteriously spotted wearing a “Team Lahore” scarf, prompting fury from fans. Starmer called it “a symbol of modern Britain — inclusive, diverse, and slightly confused.”

PRESTON CHIP WARS: CHIPPY BOSSES TO FIGHT FOR TITLE OF “HARDEST FRYER”By Battered Correspondent, Crisp E. CodpieceTuesda...
08/07/2025

PRESTON CHIP WARS: CHIPPY BOSSES TO FIGHT FOR TITLE OF “HARDEST FRYER”

By Battered Correspondent, Crisp E. Codpiece
Tuesday, July 8th, 2025

PRESTON — Tensions are boiling over in the fryer trays of Preston this week as the town’s most iconic chip shop owners prepare to batter each other in a no-holds-barred showdown to determine, once and for all, who is the Hardest Chippy Boss in Preston.

The event, dubbed “Chip Wars: Fryday Night Smackdown”, will take place in Avenham Park this weekend, with buckets of salt, vinegar, and unlicensed curry sauce expected to be spilled.

The Contenders:
Umberto Fredianni, the self-styled “Godfather of Grease,” is entering the ring armed with nothing but a potato peeler and 60 years of generational fish-frying rage. “My haddock’s harder than their faces,” he growled, flexing a tattoo of a battered sausage.

King Kod, real name Kodi Patel, has been training by bench-pressing boxes of frozen scampi. “They call me royalty for a reason,” he said. “I deep-fry dreams... and occasionally my own hand.”

Bill & Ben, Preston’s most feared twin chippy duo, are fighting as a tag team. Local legend has it they once knocked a microwave out cold for “looking at them funny.” Their slogan? “Two lads, one fryer, no mercy.”

Savick Chippy’s mysterious owner, known only as “Daz the Fillet,” hasn’t spoken publicly in 14 years but reportedly communicates via aggressive seagull noises and cryptic grease stains.

Nobbletts, run by ex-boxer “Knuckles” Nobblett, claims to have invented the deep-fried Mars bar during a bar fight. He says: “I don’t use batter. I use vengeance.”

West End Chippy, known for its steel counter and steelier attitude, is entering with local enforcer “Steve The Greek,” who once threw a customer through a window for asking for “just chips, no salt.”

And finally, Queen Vic, the reigning queen of Friargate, known for her glamorous beehive and brutal headlocks. “I’ll dip ‘em in mushy peas and mash ‘em,” she promised, while sharpening a fish slice with menace.

The Rules:
The fight will be refereed by a confused bloke from Preston Markets who thought he was signing up for a pub quiz.

Local Reaction:
Locals are divided. Some are backing Fredianni, citing his granite knuckles and cod-based insults. Others say Queen Vic is a “dead cert” after she flattened a Deliveroo driver with a pickled egg last month.

Council officials have attempted to ban the event, but were quickly silenced with a family-sized portion of chips and threats of “extreme vinegaring.”

Odds (from Paddy Fryers):
Umberto Fredianni – 5/1

King Kod – 3/1

Bill & Ben – 2/1

Savick Chippy – ??? (Too mysterious to price)

Nobbletts – 4/1

West End Chippy – 6/1

Queen Vic – 7/2 and rising

Grand Prize:
The winner will receive the Golden Chip Fork, a year’s supply of crispy scraps, and the right to rename Preston Bus Station “The Battered Terminal.”

UPDATE: Rumours suggest a rogue contender from Leyland might enter last minute. Fears of regional chip-based warfare are growing.

Stay tuned. It’s going to be a frying pan fight for the ages.

Looks like Toxic Terry pulled last night
16/06/2025

Looks like Toxic Terry pulled last night

"I asked for olive oil and some grilled Mediterranean vegetables instead of fish n chips...they gave me tomato ketchup a...
05/06/2025

"I asked for olive oil and some grilled Mediterranean vegetables instead of fish n chips...they gave me tomato ketchup and some bright green mashed up peas. We were there for 7 days and it was a nightmare"

Confusion in Preston as 100s of people queue outside the local STD clinic for VE Day
05/05/2025

Confusion in Preston as 100s of people queue outside the local STD clinic for VE Day

Pensioner Posse Sneaks into UK for Free Blackpool HolidayIn a bizarre turn of events on the Fylde coast, a group of 24 e...
30/04/2025

Pensioner Posse Sneaks into UK for Free Blackpool Holiday
In a bizarre turn of events on the Fylde coast, a group of 24 elderly women from Preston made headlines today after allegedly entering the UK illegally by boat — all in pursuit of a free bank holiday weekend at a Blackpool seafront hotel.
Dubbed the “Nanna Gang” by amused locals, the sprightly pensioners, aged between 72 and 90, were spotted disembarking from a large inflatable dinghy near Blackpool early Wednesday morning. dragging wheeled suitcases, the women reportedly marched straight to the Metropole Hotel, demanding to seek asylum there for the weekend.
“We thought it’d be a bit of an adventure,” said Margaret Boeing, 90, who acted as the group’s self-proclaimed navigator. “we found a boat on Facebook Marketplace and off we went!”
Hotel staff only realized something was amiss and alerted the police
Immigration officials say the women are being treated with “tea, biscuits, and firm questions.” A Home Office spokesperson added, “While their determination is admirable, this is not how the visa waiver program works.”
Locals have already started a petition to let the ladies stay — at least until Tuesday.

50p Claire action figure only available from The City Of Preston Evening Post
28/04/2025

50p Claire action figure only available from The City Of Preston Evening Post

A prolific shoplifter targeting multiple Co-op stores has been jailed after pleading guilty in Preston Crown Court.
20/04/2025

A prolific shoplifter targeting multiple Co-op stores has been jailed after pleading guilty in Preston Crown Court.

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