The Rainford Times

24/12/2025

Happy Christmas one and all

This took me bloody ages, hope you like it.

Wishing you all the best and thank you for your love and support this year.

On the first day of Christmas
Rainford gave to me
A well lit village Christmas tree

On the second day of Christmas
Rainford gave to me
Two grams of Ket
And a well lit village Christmas tree

On the third day of Christmas
Rainford gave to me
Three damaged fence panels,
Two grams of ket
And a well lit village Christmas tree

On the fourth day of Christmas
Rainford gave to me
Four lads looking suspicious
Three damaged fence panels
Two grams of ket
And a well lit village Christmas Tree

On the fifth day of Christmas
Rainford gave to me
Five Pints and Drive
Four lads looking suspicious
Three damaged fence panels
Two grams of ket
And a well lit village Christmas Tree

On the Sixth day of Christmas Rainford gave to me
Six lost Evri parcels
Five Pints and Drive
Four lads looking suspicious
Three damaged fence panels
Two grams of ket
And a well lit village Christmas Tree

On the Seventh day of Christmas
Rainford gave to me
Seven tonnes of fly tip
Six lost Evri parcels
Five Pints and Drive
Four lads looking suspicious
Three damaged fence panels
Two grams of ket
And a well lit village Christmas Tree

On the Eighth day of Christmas Rainford gave to me
Eight temporary traffic lights
Seven tonnes of fly tip
Six lost Evri parcels
Five Pints and Drive
Four lads looking suspicious
Three damaged fence panels
Two grams of ket
And a well lit village Christmas Tree

On the Ninth day of Christmas Rainford gave to me
Nine deep at the Co op
Eight temporary traffic lights
Seven tonnes of fly tip
Six lost Evri parcels
Five Pints and Drive
Four lads looking suspicious
Three damaged fence panels
Two grams of ket
And a well lit village Christmas Tree

On the tenth day of Christmas Rainford gave to me
Ten mounds of horse s**t
Nine deep at the Co op
Eight temporary traffic lights
Seven tonnes of fly tip
Six lost Evri parcels
Five Pints and Drive
Four lads looking suspicious
Three damaged fence panels
Two grams of ket
And a well lit village Christmas Tree

On the eleventh day of Christmas
Rainford gave to me
Eleven bird scarers per minute
Ten mounds of horse s**t
Nine deep at the Co op
Eight temporary traffic lights
Seven tonnes of fly tip
Six lost Evri parcels
Five Pints and Drive
Four lads looking suspicious
Three damaged fence panels
Two grams of ket
And a well lit village Christmas Tree

On the twelfth day of Christmas Rainford gave to me
Twelve tractors a trundling
Eleven bird scarers per minute
Ten mounds of horse s**t
Nine deep at the Co op
Eight temporary traffic lights
Seven tonnes of fly tip
Six lost Evri parcels
Five Pints and Drive
Four lads looking suspicious
Three damaged fence panels
Two grams of ket
And a well lit village Christmas Tree

20/12/2025

Good morning Rainford!

As I dont finish work until Tuesday, Christmas has not yet started. I am mulling over a few festive ideas for my Christmas special. It should "drop" as the kids say on Christmas Eve.

In the mean time, I have a skip to fill whilst no one is looking. Its a dangerous task crossing the road avoiding the drunk drivers, and without my usual supply of Ketamine, its a painful job too.

Stay predictable Rainford

Wherever you are

22/11/2025

👏👏👏👏👏👏

16/11/2025

Georgia deserves all the love and support in the world. Rainford, do your thing and make Burning desires your go to place for snazzy smelly candles

Feel inspired by what Georgia has achieved💖

13/11/2025

12/11/2025

What an achievement! Richly deserved Georgia. You are an inspiration

This business was born when life forced me to slow down. What started during illness became my fight to rise again — stronger, braver, and more determined than ever.
Today, being shortlisted for Best Small Business isn’t just recognition — it’s a reminder that even in our weakest moments, we can build something powerful.

To everyone who’s believed in this journey: thank you for being

12/11/2025

Can we give you all a nickname please The Men's Room Barber Shop

Meet THE FIXER 🥷

Tom just wants it made clear it wasn’t one of his haircuts that needed fixing 🙃

09/11/2025

🎄✨ **Toy Donation Appeal for Poppy Rose Cupboard** ✨🎄

With the holiday season just around the corner, we’re gearing up for an exciting toy event! If you’re clearing out any toys this year, please don’t throw them away, consider donating them to the Poppy Rose Cupboard instead!

Your donations will help us raise money for local causes, with our current focus being the Rainford Community First Responders. Plus, any unsold toys will be donated to local schools for their Christmas fair raffle prizes!

📍 Drop Off Location
13 Heyes Avenue, Rainford, St Helens, WA11 8AW

Let’s spread some joy this Christmas and support a great cause together! Thank you for your generosity! ❤️🎁

09/11/2025

08/11/2025

This is a local page for LOCAL PEOPLE!

Happy Weekend Rainford

We finally made it though what is now known as Bonfire Week!

Firework nonces have been celebrating pretty much non stop since daybreak on Nov 1st and unfortunately there are probably still a few whoppers who will be letting off this weekend.

They will no doubt raise their simple heads on NYE and announce their premature detonation condition at 11.45pm.

We move on.

Local keyboard warriors have had a field day over the content of a certain page.
Admins have assembled like a s**tty Bollywood version of The Avengers.
Let's get one thing straight, opinion polls are complete bo****ks.
I mean, look at Reform. Apparently they lead every opinion poll going. What they dont tell you though, is that these opinion polls are gathered in a Wetherspoons in Chigwell at 8.30 am on a Monday morning.
Who has the right to say what is local and what isn't?
For example, a business based 10 miles away, that employs local people from the village and surrounding areas, and also supports local causes and works with other local businesses should not be allowed to post because they arent based in Rainford?? What utter Bo****ks.
And why should they be barred from advertising?
Because someone with nothing better to do than moan about a Facebook post whilst waiting for their Amazon Fresh delivery, sipping on their Starbucks, scrolling on their iphone.
If they truly wanted to support local they would surely be in the in the field picking their own spuds, sipping some brook water from an earthenware jar and writing about their day by candlelight on some parchment whilst smoking a clay pipe.

The 5 and drive rule, casual racism and Xenophobia are what makes Rainford who it is.
The people.
Their opinions.
Whether valid or not. Your opinion is exactly that. Its yours.
Let us all know about it , fine. But when someone tells you they dont like it. Tough cookies.
Keep your opinion to yourself. Fine.
Its your choice. Yours.

Also, if there are any businesses local or otherwise, or good causes that would like me to promote them, please get in touch.

Can't promise it will make much of a difference. But what I can guarantee you is I won't be asking for your utility bills and family tree before I share your post.

Stay insular Rainford

WHEREVER YOU ARE!

05/11/2025

What Kate said.

01/11/2025

Starting from this evening

I will be launching a campaign to make Rainford the UKs first firework free village.

Have your bonfire, but please put your fireworks up your arse.

If you want to look up into the night sky, pointing and gasping in awe please move to Billinge.