22/07/2025
🌀 Autistic women & stimming: the power of being seen
(A post for those who want to understand, and those who want to feel understood.)
As autistic women, many of us learned young to suppress our natural ways of being—especially the way our bodies wanted to move.
Whether it was rocking, tapping, humming, or fidgeting—if it didn’t fit the mould, we were told to stop.
Sometimes gently.
Often not.
And so, we masked.
We hid the very movements that helped us soothe, regulate, think, and release.
Why?
Because we rarely saw anyone else doing them.
We didn’t see adult women stimming safely and unapologetically.
We didn’t have a feedback loop that said:
👉 This is okay.
👉 You are safe.
👉 You are not odd.
That’s why visibility matters.
Stimming isn’t always about distress.
It can be grounding, comforting, joyful—even empowering.
And it starts, not with a performance, but with permission.
Permission to unmask to ourselves.
To get curious about the movements our body naturally wants to make.
And to let them do their thing.
💬 So, as an autistic woman, I want to gently share some of my current stims—because maybe this helps someone else feel a little less alone.
🔹 I tap the tips of my fingers against my thumb in turn, quite quickly. It helps me process, soothe, and think.
🔹 I hum when I’m overstimulated, especially at night to help me sleep.
🔹 I rock when I need to regulate or calm my nervous system.
🔷 I always carry a hairband in my pocket to fidget with to help in many different scenarios.
These are not oddities.
They are forms of care.
They are responses to needs that might otherwise go unmet.
Let’s normalise them. Let’s share them. Let’s see each other.
If you stim, and you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear how it shows up for you.
And if you don’t stim but want to understand—thank you for reading this far. Your curiosity matters.
