23/04/2025
haven't really shared my culture shock as a Nigeria living in the UK, so here you go!!!!!!
As someone who lived most of her life in the East and Kaduna, nobody told me that coming to the UK is not just relocation, but a full blown cultural reboot.
The first time I ate Jollof rice here, I almost cried 🤣🤣🤣🤣.
I went with my husband to get our BRP from the post office, and saw one Jamaican restaurant that also prepares Nigerian cuisines, we decided to go and eat Jollof rice.
Imagine rice that looks like Jollof, smells like tomato, but tastes like boiled confusion.
And pepper? Don’t even mention it. They say mild chili and serve you something that tastes like flavoured air.
I now carry my Cameroon pepper like ID card anywhere I go, it goes.
For Bongo, work starts by 8:30 am but normally we go greet everybody until 9:15.
Here, 9AM means 9AM.
I logged in at 9:02 one day and my manager sent me a calendar invite for a quick chat🤣🤣🤣.
Quick chat almost turned into P45🤣🤣.
And everybody minds their business.
No unnecessary questions like how was your night, Just work, work, and one suspiciously cheerful happy Friday! at the end of the week🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Nigerians: Good morning sir, good morning ma!
UK people: Hiya!
The first time someone asked me You alright, I mumushily answered No o I have a little cold and I’ve been coughing, only to find out that it’s not a real question.
You alright? is a code for don’t talk too much 🤣🤣🤣.
Buses here arrive on time. ON TIME!
Back home, bus go first full tank, then wait for conductor’s cousin to join, then collect change from passengers before it moves.
In the UK? If the bus says 07:46, and you show up at 07:47,you will trek with dignity 🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Here, nobody visits unannounced.
In Nigeria, someone will just show up and be like "I was just passing by and said let me branch.”
If you try that here , you’ll meet locked doors and side eye from door cameras 📷.
Neighbours don’t gist.
I have lived here for 2 years and I don't know who my neighbours are or their names.
Meanwhile in Naija, if your neighbour sneezes, 3 aunties will knock to ask if you’ve tried Robb 🤣🤣🤣.( Which is good by the way).
Life in the UK is sweet, but you must update your software. It’s giving Version 2.0 🤣🤣🤣.
Adapt, blend, learn, but don’t forget your pepper and your sense of humour 🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Tag a fellow japa warrior. Let’s laugh through the culture shock!
