Totally Carp Baits

Totally Carp Baits 🎣 Carp fishing, a few laughs, and plenty of fishing fun. No pressure, just banter. 🎣

21/11/2025

The ultimate lesson 🐟💡

Who said technology in carp fishing is cheating? My mate’s just delivered me a sarnie from the far bank via drone whilst...
21/11/2025

Who said technology in carp fishing is cheating? My mate’s just delivered me a sarnie from the far bank via drone whilst I sit on my throne… bosh 🎣🤖🥪

A few lakes backing onto the main lake… might chuck a sneaky rod or two out in the other lakes when no one’s watching. I...
21/11/2025

A few lakes backing onto the main lake… might chuck a sneaky rod or two out in the other lakes when no one’s watching. It’s always a big advantage to bring a chest freezer in the van on long sessions to keep your bait fresh during those three-week stints 🎣❄️

Just when you thought the carp fishing world couldn't get any more ridiculous, absolute chaos has erupted across the Cha...
21/11/2025

Just when you thought the carp fishing world couldn't get any more ridiculous, absolute chaos has erupted across the Channel this week. Put down your brew, because you are not going to believe the audacity of this one.

Controversy has struck the European scene like a lead weight to the face after a French angler emerged from the bushes claiming to have not just broken, but absolutely SHATTERED the World Record.

The claim? A mind-blowing, earth-shaking 150lb (68kg).

Naturally, the media went into a frenzy... until the photos dropped.

Instead of a bloated, majestic leviathan that could swallow a bait boat whole, the angling community was staring at a gnarly, battle-scarred Mirror Carp that looked like it had gone twelve rounds with a boat propeller. It was lean, it was beat-up, and to the naked eye of anyone who has ever held a rod, it looked like it would struggle to tip the scales at 40lbs, never mind 150.

The discrepancy was so comical that forums instantly lit up. "Did he weigh the fish, the sling, the cradle, and his van?" asked one commenter.

Sanity briefly prevailed when officials on-site checked the angler's scales. They were immediately deemed "faulty" (to put it politely) and the record claim was instantly overruled and thrown out.

But here is where the story goes from funny to insane.

Instead of accepting defeat and admitting he might have "misread" the dial by about 110lbs, the angler has launched an OFFICIAL APPEAL. He is doubling down. He is insisting the fish was "extremely dense" and that the photos are "deceiving."

The French carp scene is currently in total meltdown. Sponsors are hiding, the memes are flying, and the debate is raging. Is this the most delusionally optimistic angler in history, or the greatest chancer the sport has ever seen?

One thing is for sure: That fish wasn't 150lbs unless it had swallowed a breeze block. 🧱🐟

Forget the Ebro. Get yourself to Stockport 🎣🏙️People pay thousands to fish in France, but the real action is happening r...
21/11/2025

Forget the Ebro. Get yourself to Stockport 🎣🏙️

People pay thousands to fish in France, but the real action is happening round the back of the council estate in Stockport. We call it "The Drain."

To the naked eye, it’s a stagnant ditch full of shopping trolleys and empty cans of Stella. But beneath the surface? It is absolutely heaving with urban monsters. These aren't pellet-fed fish; these are street-wise carp that feed on discarded doner meat and pure grit.

Once a year, the whole estate comes to a standstill for the Great Stockport Fish-Off.



It is a beautiful sight. Rod pods balanced on wheelie bins. Unhooking mats laid out on the pavement. But the best part is the crowd. You haven’t lived until you’ve hooked a double-figure Mirror and had Mrs. Higgins screaming "GO ON SON!" from her third-floor bathroom window while smoking a fag.

When a fish gets landed, the roar from the balconies is louder than Old Trafford. People banging pots and pans, kids throwing sweetcorn from the roofs.

For one day a year, the community is united for the greater good. United by slime, scales, and the smell of the drain. This is Stockport heritage at its finest.

The Stockport Drain: Where legends are made. 🏆🇬🇧

21/11/2025

Be careful around the ice at this time of year, folks ❄️

Steve has acquired plenty of sweetcorn folks. Do not tell the boilie makers. He is meant to be a field tester 😂🌽🎣
21/11/2025

Steve has acquired plenty of sweetcorn folks. Do not tell the boilie makers. He is meant to be a field tester 😂🌽🎣

Neil Warnock with one from his Cornwall syndicate this week… a fish known as The Peach, and you can see why! What a crac...
21/11/2025

Neil Warnock with one from his Cornwall syndicate this week… a fish known as The Peach, and you can see why! What a cracking carp at 24.12—an incredible result at any time of year, but especially this week with the conditions we’ve had. A footballing and angling legend. Well done, Neil—top angling, mate! 🎣👏

21/11/2025

This is surströmming with the top noddy’s 🤢🎣

No fishing this weekend—far too cold for my liking… so I’m practising in the front room instead. Got three rods in the g...
21/11/2025

No fishing this weekend—far too cold for my liking… so I’m practising in the front room instead. Got three rods in the goldfish bowl at half a wrap. It’s not been out for a while, so I’m hoping it slips up at first light 🎣🫨

Carp fishing is a lesson in faith. You stare at a flat sheet of water for days, trusting that beneath the surface, magic...
20/11/2025

Carp fishing is a lesson in faith. You stare at a flat sheet of water for days, trusting that beneath the surface, magic is waiting to happen.🎣

20/11/2025

Beating the drum to summon the big ones 🥁🎣🐟

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