The Grumpy Journalist

11/07/2025

Let’s be fair Kemi Badenoch’s story is remarkable. From Nigeria to McDonald’s to leading a major political party. That’s inspiring. But the truth is, it’s not her we’re angry at it’s the 14 years of destruction her party caused. Big difference. Let’s hold the Tories accountable, not erase her journey.

still employed… for now

10/07/2025

🧹 Rachel Reeves cried. One tear. That’s all it took for the right-wing media to implode like she’d announced the nationalisation of Waitrose and compulsory pronoun usage at bus stops.

Apparently, the Chancellor showing a shred of human emotion is far more scandalous than, say, letting Liz Truss cosplay as PM and detonate the economy in under 49 days.

Labour’s inherited a bin fire, and Reeves is the poor soul with a mop, a spreadsheet, and a nervous twitch. While Tories and Reform shout from the sidelines about “woke bins” and cry into their foie gras about a wealth tax, Labour is at least trying to make Britain vaguely liveable again.

If you missed Part One of the Autumn Budget breakdown, don't worry, we’re still waist-deep in economic rubble. From brick-flavoured housing misery to the cruel comedy of the welfare bill, Part Two is out now and it’s got more truth than a PPE inquiry and far less shouting.

📰 Read it now and remind yourself that empathy isn't a weakness. It’s the first step to cleaning up a mess left by people who thought a monocle was a policy.
👉

https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/rachel-reeves-cried-after-14-years?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

09/07/2025

On this day, 7th July 2005, the heart of London was shattered.
Commuters boarded trains and buses, thinking it was just another Thursday. Mothers. Fathers. Friends. Strangers.
They never came home.

Nineteen years later, we remember them—not just as names or numbers, but as lives cruelly cut short in an attack that changed the fabric of our city.

But here’s the question that haunts me: Have we truly kept our promise to remember? Or have we let time bury the grief beneath hashtags and headlines?

This isn’t just a moment of history. It’s a mirror held up to humanity.
Take a minute. Don’t scroll past. Read it. Share it. Let them be remembered properly.

🕯️ Read the full reflection here:
https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/7th-july?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

One of Those Days

06/07/2025

I was at the gym last night, legs screaming like I owed them rent, thinking about youth work, broken promises, and the Chancellor’s latest budget twaddle. Reeves says raising taxes is "responsible" now. Really? That’s the best she’s got?

Before she bleeds businesses dry, maybe take a look at the billions we’re sitting on like a paranoid landlord. Assets, visa fees, dodgy tax dodgers there are smarter ways to fix the books.

This isn’t just another rant. This is a proper Grumpy Journalist piece:
No More Tax Hikes, Reeves, Without Bleeding Businesses Dry
📖 Read here: https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/no-more-tax-hikes-reeves-without?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

The Autumn Budget is coming. Brace yourself. Or better yet, fix the bloody thing.

05/07/2025

Ever been stuck on a sweaty, packed bus and had a cheeky teenager offer you a Tesco Meal Deal ice cream? No? Well, that’s basically how this mess feels sticky, a bit confusing, but somehow oddly generous in small moments. Meanwhile, our politicians juggle flaming chainsaws with immigration rules that look like they were written during a chaotic night shift.

The Tories promised “control” and handed out work visas like sweets at a kids’ party except the party was a disaster. Labour’s now picked up the mop but the mess is still wet and stinky.

If you think this is just another boring policy rant, think again. This is about real people, dodgy sponsor licences, and why the ‘hostile environment’ might just be the government’s new favourite game.

Read the full madness here and prepare to laugh, rage, and maybe shed a metaphorical tear (ice cream not included). 👉 https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/the-big-british-immigration-swindle?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

NOW WITH EXTRA CLARITY (AND ICE CREAM)

03/07/2025

The Conservatives left Britain’s welfare system dangling by a thread shredded budgets, demoralised staff, and a benefits system designed with the compassion of a parking fine. Now Labour’s walked into the wreckage, armed with duct tape, a half decent plan, and a glimmer of actual human decency.

This isn’t a revolution, it’s triage but after 14 years of ideological vandalism disguised as governance, even that feels like a minor miracle.

So, what exactly is this new bill? Is it real reform, or just more clever PR with a red rosette?

👀 Read the full breakdown and bite through the satire here:
👉

https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/broken-britain-needs-a-welfare-system?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

LBC

Plan to Fix the Welfare State They Torched While Smiling

01/07/2025

🚨 BREADLINE BEATDOWN: Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill” or How to Mug the Poor in Broad Daylight 🚨

Alright America, grab your third job, clutch your Aldi bag for life, and brace yourself. Trump’s dropped a new bill H.R.1, aka the “One Big Beautiful Bill Act” a title so fake it should come with Botox and a nondisclosure agreement.

This monstrosity isn’t for you, your kids, or anyone who's ever set foot in a Walmart. It’s a £975 billion love letter to billionaires, a chainsaw through healthcare, and a slap in the face to the working class so loud it echoed through Bernie Sanders’ soul.

Food stamps? Slashed. Clean energy? Torched. Medicaid? Gutted like a fish on Wall Street. But sure, your tips might be tax-free now, so you can buy half a tin of beans without feeling guilty.

We’re not talking “America First.” We’re talking “America F****d” unless you’re rich enough to use a private jet as a dog kennel.

If you’ve ever wondered what it looks like when a billionaire joyrides through Congress with a gr***de made of tax cuts and ego powder, read the full rant below. It's brutal, honest, and funny enough to make you laugh between panic attacks.

👉 Read it. Share it. Then shout into the void with us.

📰 https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/breadline-beatdown?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

LBC Keir Starmer

Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill” or How to Mug the Poor in Broad Daylight

29/06/2025

BREAKING: Britain confirms it doesn’t want a messiah, it just wants a man with a mop.

While Keir’s doing U-turns like he’s on Mario Kart, the rest of us are sipping tea, watching him clean 14 years of Tory curry stains off the carpet and you know what? We’re here for it.

Read this blog if you’re ready to laugh, cry, spill your tea, and possibly nominate a mop for a knighthood.

👉 https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/unite-or-flop?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Keir Starmer The Labour Party LBC

Why Labour MPs Need to Grow Up, Back Starmer’s Welfare Reforms, and Stop Pretending the System Isn’t Already Broken

27/06/2025

🚨 NEW BLOG DROP 🚨

“When Sergeant Chad Fled to Dubai, DCI Cassandra Featherstone Grubb Was Left Chasing Teenagers with Rizlas”

The MET’s finest women officers are being wasted on petty cannabis patrols while real criminals run wild and I’ve had enough.

🕵️‍♀️ Cassandra is fictional, but the madness is very, very real.

💥 Guns, gangs, dark web drug empires… but sure, let’s stake out teenagers for smelling like pot noodles and Bob Marley.

💡 Want policing to work? Then stop benching the best and start trusting them.

💣 Read it, laugh, cry, share and then maybe send it to someone in uniform.

📖 Read the full roast here: https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/dubai-got-chad-misogyny-got-cassandra?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

LBC

Official supplier of social rage, and slightly over steeped PG Tea

22/06/2025

📣 BREAKING: The UK has officially assumed its new global role ‘Highly Enthusiastic Intern in NATO’s Basement.”
No decisions, no strategy, just excellent tea-making skills and a willingness to nod through anything with a Union Jack in the background.

This week’s foreign policy strategy?
🛫 Nod politely.
📠 Copy whatever’s in the White House Dropbox.
💥 Back another US-led “pre-emptive” strike, because nothing screams “defending democracy” like launching missiles at a country that never attacked you.

Meanwhile, Sir Keir Starmer stands behind a podium looking like someone just asked him to explain what ethics are.
He mutters, “We stand with our allies,” with all the enthusiasm of a man reading shampoo instructions in a hostage video.
No legal review. No UN input. No actual policy. Just vibes, explosions, and recycled statements that sound like they were written in Tel Aviv and faxed through AIPAC HQ.

And yes, I’ve inserted myself into the cartoon, stunned silent, hands over mouth, watching Britain trip over its own principles while trying to keep up with the Pentagon’s playlist.
Because sometimes, all you can do is laugh at the madness.

👀 Spot me in the cartoon. That’s the face of “Wait… we’re bombing Iran why, exactly?”

https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/iran-israel-and-the-never-ending?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Or How We Learned to Love Hypocrisy and Keep Our Tongue Firmly Lodged in Uncle Sam’s Rear

18/06/2025

📢💥 PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT 💥📢

Kemi Badenoch has just turned up to the crime scene of a 14-year Tory neglect bonanza with a bucket of Elon Musk tweets and a torch shouting “LABOUR DID IT!”

That’s right folks, after over a decade of Conservative governments ignoring Rotherham, Rochdale, Telford, and Oldham, Queen Kemi suddenly remembered victims exist but only after Labour launched an actual national inquiry, re-opened hundreds of cases, and passed new r**e laws.

✨ Convenient timing, innit?✨

Meanwhile, under the Tory regime:

Reports were buried,

Councils were complicit,

And victims were told to “go away and stop causing trouble”…

But now that Labour’s mopping up the carnage, Kemi’s here with a PR firework display like she just discovered safeguarding on Google.

🚨 You had 14 YEARS, Kemi.

And you were in the bloody Cabinet.

Why didn’t you care then?

Instead of helping, your lot:

❌ Rejected statutory inquiries,

❌ Ignored IICSA recommendations,

❌ Gaslit whistleblowers,

❌ And only set up the Grooming Taskforce… in YEAR 13.

Now you want applause because you can spell “grooming gang”?

Well done. Here’s a biscuit. 🍪

Read the full roast of this political pantomime complete with facts, sarcasm, and a giant reminder that Labour is doing what you never did:

🔗 https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/kemi-you-had-14-bloody-years-now?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Trust us it’s juicier than a Tory WhatsApp group during lockdown.

Labour's Decisive Action On Grooming Gangs

14/06/2025

🧨 TOMORROW MORNING: The Grumpy Journalist Drops a Truth Bomb. 🧨

📢 If you thought politics was just posh men shouting in a fancy room, think again.

Tomorrow, I publish one of the most blisteringly honest pieces I’ve ever written. It’s angry. It’s raw. And it says exactly what millions are thinking but too afraid to say in polite company or on the BBC.

💥 This isn’t a blog post. It’s a political punch to the gut.
💥 It’s about Gaza. About war crimes. About Britain’s role.
💥 It asks the question every decent person should be shouting right now Why are our leaders so terrified of calling a war crime a war crime?

One MP Paul Kohler dared to speak the truth. Just one. So tomorrow, I do what our media won’t I back him up, with both barrels.

Why should YOU care?

This isn’t just about Gaza. It’s about our values, our silence, and the cartel of cowards that runs Westminster like a PR firm with a defence budget. It’s about being British and Muslim, working class and awake and watching a government gaslight its own people while playing moral referee in a burning world.

Tomorrow, I name names. I call out the hypocrisy and I remind everyone watching that history never forgets no matter how many newsrooms do.

https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/so-i-read-paul-kohlers-article?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Filed under: Moral Outrage, Blunt Truths, and War Crimes in HD