The Grumpy Journalist

The Grumpy Journalist Welcome to The Grumpy Journalist where we call out the world’s nonsense with a side of snark. Grab a seat and let’s dive into the chaos Who are we? Or don’t.

If you’re tired of boring, bland news and want a dose of reality with a punch, you’re in the right place. Welcome to The Grumpy Journalist, where we take the world's nonsense and serve it with a side of sarcasm. Tired of fluff pieces, fake news, and journalists pretending to have it all together? Congratulations, you've found your new home. Buckle up, because this is not your grandma's newspaper.

Here, we roast the ridiculous, laugh at the absurd, and occasionally remind you that everything is, in fact, totally fine (spoiler alert: it’s not). Honestly, we're just a bunch of people who gave up pretending to be "professional." If you’re looking for hard-hitting, unbiased reporting… keep looking. That's not our vibe. We’re here to mock, roast, and laugh at the chaos the world throws at us. It's like your favorite gossip column, but with a better vocabulary and a lot less filter. What’s our goal? We’re just here to give you something that makes you laugh, cringe, and question your life choices. We cover the real, the fake, and the so ridiculous it has to be real. The world’s a dumpster fire, and we’re roasting marshmallows over it. Why stick around? Because life’s too short for boring news. The world needs more sarcasm and less of everything else. If you’ve made it this far, you might as well see what else we’ve got in store. We’re not your therapist, but we’re definitely better than a self-help book (and way less condescending). A quick word about our profile pic:
Yes, we know it’s Sir Trevor McDonald. No, it’s not actually us (if it were, we'd be living much better lives). But honestly, who wouldn’t want to channel the legend of British journalism himself? Sir Trevor, if you’re reading this, we’re sure even you are sitting there wondering, "WTF is going on in this world?" And we’d be right there with you. Disclaimer:
If you’re easily offended, you’ve made a mistake just by being here. But if you like sarcastic headlines, biting commentary, and the occasional existential crisis, welcome aboard. We won’t make you feel better about yourself, but we’ll definitely make you laugh at the chaos of life. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the dumpster fire we call news. We’re not your babysitter. Follow us for more chaos:
Because sarcasm is our second language and making the news funny again (or at least mildly entertaining) is our mission.

Today I was doing my medical deliveries you know, the honest-working, road-warrior, “gangster but with a DBS check” life...
07/12/2025

Today I was doing my medical deliveries you know, the honest-working, road-warrior, “gangster but with a DBS check” lifestyle when LBC and TikTok both tried to convince me Rachel Reeves lied about a black hole big enough to swallow Dover.

Meanwhile I’m out here meeting a Nana whose house almost got broken into, hearing about how the police turned up in two minutes flat, and thinking:

“This is exactly why we need a government that actually works for real people, not Twitter bots and PPE millionaires.”

So I broke it all down.
The OBR leak.
The “black hole lie.”
The Budget.
The Tory tantrums.

Reeves keeping her cool like she’s babysitting a nation raised by irresponsible uncles.

It’s funny, chaotic, slightly unhinged, but honest.
Just like Britain.

Kemi Badenoch Conservatives Keir Starmer Ed Davey LBC Rachel Reeves

Read the full thing here:

How Rachel Reeves Cleaned Up 14 Years of Tory Mayhem While Britain Googled “What Even Is The OBR?" A Grumpy Journalist Special

🚨 Yo Gen Z fam, the UK budget just dropped and boomers are losing it harder than your uncle discovering TikTok. Rachel R...
03/12/2025

🚨 Yo Gen Z fam, the UK budget just dropped and boomers are losing it harder than your uncle discovering TikTok. Rachel Reeves is out here adulting harder than anyone on leg day—NHS glow-ups, schools fixed-ish, green energy making bills chill.

But wait… even a grumpy journalist had to admit: “I’ve lived long enough I’m with you lot. I want the best for your future…”

What did they say next? 👀 Only one way to find out 👉 https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/boomers-be-losing-it?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Boomers panic, Gen Z thrives. Click to see how the UK finally starts glow-upping 💥🔥

Rachel Reeves’ Budget is Peak Glow-Up, No Cap

Britain wasn’t broken by Covid  it was just finally caught on camera. I wasn’t planning to write another word about West...
21/11/2025

Britain wasn’t broken by Covid it was just finally caught on camera. I wasn’t planning to write another word about Westminster’s circus, but after one accidental encounter with Andrew Marr and a government behaving like it was sitting an exam it forgot existed, here we are. If you’ve ever wondered what happens when political theatre collides with real-world crisis management, or why the public keeps getting blamed for everything except the weather, you’ll want to read this. Believe me it’s grumpy, it’s honest, and it’s probably more sensible than anything coming out of the Commons this week.

Read on before another minister deletes their messages.

Conservatives Kemi Badenoch

By The Grumpy Journalist the only one left willing to say it plainly

The BBC tried to dissect Trump and ended up editing itself into a lawsuit. One clumsy cut, two resignations, and a billi...
12/11/2025

The BBC tried to dissect Trump and ended up editing itself into a lawsuit. One clumsy cut, two resignations, and a billion-dollar tantrum later, we’ve got peak 2024 journalism: technically right, catastrophically edited.

Read the full breakdown of how Auntie Beeb accidentally went full Avengers here:
👉 https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/when-the-bbc-accidentally-set-itself?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Ed Davey Liberal Democratss

An uncomfortably honest guide to British journalism, American outrage, and one poorly timed edit.

🚨 Welcome to the Opposition’s Meltdown Parade 🚨Reform UK are still yelling “stop the boats” like it’s a government plan,...
07/11/2025

🚨 Welcome to the Opposition’s Meltdown Parade 🚨

Reform UK are still yelling “stop the boats” like it’s a government plan, the Tories are handing billions to property speculators while trembling at accountability, and Liz Truss? She’s still haunting the markets like a polyester poltergeist. Meanwhile, Rachel Reeves is quietly doing maths and making sense. 📊💪

Read why the real adults are still in charge (and the rest are auditioning for punditry) 👉

https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/rachel-reeves-vs-the-budget-of-doom?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

LBC The Labour Party Rachel Reeves Keir Starmer The Grumpy Journalist

Why don't you put up taxes then resign?' Rachel Reeves grilled by Andrew Marr

Been one of those weeks where I’ve been busier than a Tory with a WhatsApp delete button and a guilty conscienceI’ve del...
04/11/2025

Been one of those weeks where I’ve been busier than a Tory with a WhatsApp delete button and a guilty conscience

I’ve delivered meds, nearly electrocuted myself trying to turn a mini PC into a demigod, screeched Rhythm Is A Dancer in a van that rattles like an empty tin of Quality Street, then I see Kemi online doing her usual culture war karaoke

so I wrote about it

Rachel Reeves forgets a licence, Tories lose their minds, Kemi plays saviour while doing the square root of nothing

it is pure Grumpy Journalist energy, raw truth straight from the van

grab a brew, read it, laugh before you cry
link in the comments unless Facebook decides to bury it for being too real

https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/rachels-licence-kemis-lecture?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Keir Starmer LBC Rachel Reeves Kemi Badenoch

and Why I’m the Most Respectable Gangster in Britain

This week: Lucy Powell’s got bite, the prison service’s got holes, and somewhere between LBC rants and care home deliver...
26/10/2025

This week: Lucy Powell’s got bite, the prison service’s got holes, and somewhere between LBC rants and care home deliveries, I found myself writing about Shamima Begum. In a country this daft, even tragedy comes with a punchline.

LBC Keir Starmer The Labour Party Liberal Democratss

When compassion leaves the country before common sense does, you know the system’s beyond repair.

Blimey, this week’s been off its trolley. One minute I’m delivering meds to nanas, the next I’m watching Mehdi Hassan ro...
20/10/2025

Blimey, this week’s been off its trolley. One minute I’m delivering meds to nanas, the next I’m watching Mehdi Hassan roast Trump and half of Washington like it’s Sunday dinner. From care home chaos to political carnage, it’s all here. A respectable gangster’s week on the frontlines of truth, laughter, and sheer madness. Grab a cuppa and dive in, you’ll need it.

https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/from-delivering-meds-to-watching?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

All Before Tea Time

📢 Ever met Britain’s most respectable gangster? Me neither, until I became one… delivering pills, not politics, and acci...
15/10/2025

📢 Ever met Britain’s most respectable gangster? Me neither, until I became one… delivering pills, not politics, and accidentally writing about Gaza. From care homes to holy land, it’s a journey you didn’t know you needed.

Read the full, unflinching story here:

👉 https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/the-gangster-who-delivered-to-care?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

LBC Gaza City Charlie Kirk The Labour Party Keir Starmer

and Accidentally Wrote About Gaza

Ever feel like AI scams are moving faster than the last bus home? As your friendly local medical delivery driver (and pa...
30/09/2025

Ever feel like AI scams are moving faster than the last bus home? As your friendly local medical delivery driver (and part-time digital priest), I’ve seen how scammers are now cloning voices, faking videos, and trying to empty pensioners’ accounts. The good news? A cuppa, a chat, and a secret phrase can outsmart them every time. Read my latest blog to see how we can turn our grandparents into scam-busting legends.

https://open.substack.com/pub/grumpyjournalist/p/granddad-just-got-catfished-by-a?r=52psb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

LBC The Labour Party Keir Starmer Liberal Democratss

Why AI Misinformation is Everyone’s Problem

Life in Britain is a mess: trains late, potholes trying to swallow cars, Westminster juggling lies like it’s Cirque du S...
28/09/2025

Life in Britain is a mess: trains late, potholes trying to swallow cars, Westminster juggling lies like it’s Cirque du Soleil. I just hauled nan’s meds up three flights of stairs while LBC screamed nonsense at me and I still laughed. If I can survive THAT, anyone can. Keep singing your hymns in private, dodge the chaos, and remember: if you don’t laugh, Britain will eat you alive. 🤯😂

Labour PartytLiberal Democratst’s

Britain, Sharia, and How Schools Lost Their Damn Minds

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