ParentingSuccess

16/07/2025

It's in our willingness to repair and not let our pride, hurt feelings or ego get the better of us - that trust is built in our relationships. Especially to our children and our partner.
We don't need to agree with the other
Feel sorry that we set and held a boundary
Or feel that we are the only ones at fault
Repair happens when we assume responsibility for what is ours;
"I shouldn't have said no in such a harsh way"
"I shouted at you when I got angry - I'm sorry about that"

Because we are human and not perfect, repair is a skill that we get to practice over and over again.
It's not THAT we made a mistake that matters - but how we handled it after
🧡 if you needed this today

14/07/2025

Siblings occupy different roles in the family. Think about your own family and perhaps you can see that you have the 'difficult' and the 'easy' child. The child who challenges your idea of yourself as a parent and how things are supposed to be.
And the child who makes you feel better about your parenting. The one who often cooperates when the other doesn't. The one who's sensitive to your feelings and what the situation needs.
While this can feel like a blessing for the family system, it's wise to not assume about this child that their needs are met.
This child might need an invitation on your part to also, on occasion
🌱 be difficult instead of easy going
🌱 say no to you - so they can say yes to themselves
🌱 not be kind and a good boy/girl and eternally understanding
🌱 go first, get the most, be selfish

The absence of conflict from one of our children can lead us to praise them a lot for embodying all the qualities that we wish to see.
But when we show our 'easy' child that we can shoulder their big emotions and that our leadership and emotional health doesn't depend on them cooperating - we allow them to become whole. And sibling dynamics become less polarised
🧡 if this resonates

10/07/2025

In our rush to get to the finish line so we can get a much needed holiday - live at a slower pace, do the things we normally say we don't have time to do - we easily end up cramming as much into each day as we normally do.
💬💬Why?

Because there's a certain comfort in the familiar.

🌅Slower mornings maybe feel unproductive

🍾Not wanting to miss out you might say yes to every invite

☹️In a bid to make the time off feel special and enough for the kids - you might notice that the kids seem ungrateful and you get stressed and resentful.
Our habits are sneaky that way. And run away with us unless we dare challenge ourselves to feel a little discomfort.
Time off means more of everything - more love- more connection - more play - more conflict - more mess
It's all normal and all part of gearing down
💬What might you need to prioritise this summer in order not to burn out?

07/07/2025

Finish the sentence:
Being a parent is .......

My guess is some will say 'hard' and some will say 'amazing and a privilege' and that's because it's ... well both !!

Often, when we don't allow ourselves to find some things a struggle - we end up cutting ourselves off from connection, support and resources that could really benefit us.
💬We might imagine that no one will be able to relate
💬That nothing can be done about your situation as you've tried everything
💬that your family/friends would judge you if you were supported to be the best parent you can be for your unique child

In all the years I've worked as a parent coach supporting parents to live a family life that's aligned with their vision, values and who they want to be - I've found one thing to be true; .
"Only what we bring to the altar can be altered"
A wise therapist colleague of mine once said that - and how true this is.
We don't always need to know HOW things can change - but start by doing the first thing - which is admitting that something does need to change. Then reaching out for support.
Your family life, your attitude and family dynamics can change in the most magical ways when you free yourself from the pressure of thinking that you need to work it all out on your own ... and in your head.
☎️ book your free discovery call today by sending me a dm and a link will be sent to you with available times for a 30 min chat that can change your family life

05/06/2025

We can have ideas in our head of how things have to be for us to be doing it right. For us to be good enough mothers.
💬Balanced, wholesome meals every night
💬kids sleeping in their own bed
💬getting involved in all school related activities
💬strict screen policies
We so badly want to do well. And end up often missing out on what we ultimately want - in the pursuit of doing the 'right thing'
- when our culinary ambitions make us too stretched to be able to enjoy the meal with our family - or we end up fighting over what and how much is eaten - the meal- no matter how correct - is not nourishing
What we ultimately want is connection
When we just need to allow ourselves to land after a long and demanding day - the strict screen policy we follow - might sometimes prevent us from meeting the need we are trying to take care of. A little break from it all.
Lowering the bar is not a cop out. Nor is it a moral failing.
Lowering the bar sometimes is an act of self compassion that benefits everyone. When we allow ourselves to not always lift the heaviest weights we know we CAN lift in the gym - and see it as valuable to just go to the gym - even if just for a stretch - we can better cope long term
:
💙if you agree

08/05/2025

Child: "I'm coooold"
Parent: "I told you to put on a coat didn't i"

Child: "😭😭😭I fell"
Parent: "I told you not to run here"
Tempting as it is to point out the fact that we were right and our child should've listened.. it's wise not to if we wish for our child to learn and if we want to model empathy
When met with "I told you so" we awaken a counter will in most children, because we close the door on empathy.

If instead we come alongside and say;
"I know.. it's so cold isn't it"
Or
"I brought your coat in case you'd change your mind"

We reduce the likelihood that our children see these situations as moments of power struggle
When they fall, despite our warnings, the moment itself is the best teacher. We can therefore safely tend to the hurt without further lecturing.
Naturally consequences are everywhere and they teach our kids important lessons about cause and effect. This frees us up to meet them with empathy instead - which allows the lesson to be absorbed.
❤️ if you can relate to this

24/04/2025

I'm thrilled to be hosting this event in May.

It's a wonderful opportunity for you to take that much-needed - time out to allow yourself to reflect and get inspired.

Parenting is not easy - but when we come together to explore the difficult stuff - it all feels a lot more manageable.

💟How would you like to learn what supports your child's inner compass to live from inner navigation and less from external approval.

💟Get clear on what boosts your child's self-esteem and competently support your child to navigate tricky friendship dynamics or sibling relationships.

💟Know the essential building blocks of good self-esteem and resilience and how you as a parent can nurture these no matter where your child is.

Thursday 22nd of May
10-12.30pm

This event is hosted in my own home. Spaces are limited so I suggest you book your space now.

⬇️
Tickets via link

Learn how to raise strong, resilient kids who know their own inner compass - at our May 22nd workshop at 10-12.30pm in Chobham, Surrey

21/04/2025

Thought on siblings
Often, when we experience a lot of sibling rivalry - we don't have a sibling problem . We have a parent -child problem.
When we view their unwanted behaviours in this light, we are more inclined to move closer to the child who's feeling jealous or constantly keeping score with empathy rather than constant judgement and telling off and ask ourselves what might be missing;
Maybe
- your child has had a hectic time and has not had adequate 'you time'

- you have been busy

- your child yearns to be seen for who they are -how they are - as opposed to what they do.

- or maybe your usual ways of connecting with your child could do with a rethink because your child has matured
When we approach sibling rivalry with curiosity we get much further than we do when we tell off and dismiss.
Connection is fuel for children and in so many ways our busy lives distract us from this attunement.
Ironically it is often the child who behaves the most unlovingly who needs the most love.

❤️

15/03/2025

Parenting teens requires a gear change on our part.

▪️You excitedly buy tickets to the film they've wanted to watch
and in return, you get an 'okay'

▪️You reach out for their hand like you used to - and they take a step back

▪️Your attempts to be helpful are met with 'I've got this'

How can you stay close AND allow more distance?

Check out my latest article below

https://louise-brooks.com/2025/02/11/parenting-teens-requires-a-gear-change-heres-how/

11/02/2025

I used to always say; "I'm so scared of public speaking"
I felt the butterflies before going on stage, the clammy hands, the raised pulse and the jittery sensation.
And it wasn't till I learned that it's possible to feel more than one emotion at once - that I could see that these very sensations are similar to feeing excited.
I was Scited! (Scared and excited)

This is a term that we use often in our house and it offers comfort when one of us is about to do something that feels out of our comfort zone.
You might use the the word

"Hangry" ( hungry and angry)

What else can we add ?
Kids are good at this - so maybe ponder this on your next walk or car ride

15/01/2025

Do you think; love and respect need to be earned?

This might be true when it comes to adult relationships - but when it comes to parent child dynamics - it's so important that we examine our beliefs around love based on what we've learned growing up.

I believe kids should rest in our love - not work for it. And you might think - well of course.

But maybe this is familiar;
Your child has a meltdown and behaves poorly
Your child violates a house /family rule
Your child is mean to their sibling

And you find yourself punishing by withholding your love. Keen not to sanction these types of because you might think;
If I scold, ignore and make my child work to be accepted by me again- they'll have learnt the lesson.

Not so.

Discipline and repair and accountability can take place in the context of unconditional love.

If you'd like to hear how -then catch the latest episode of the Curious not furious podcast where I speak with the brilliant coach, Oscar van Rooij about the ways that we unintentionally make our children choose between authenticity and attachment

You can catch the episode here;

Podcast Episode · Curious not Furious · 09/01/2025 · 51m

03/12/2024

I would love to walk with you this Sunday.
It feels good to make a difference to a young person's life this Christmas. And - it feels great to walk and connect.
Join us when we set off from Windsor Castle gates on Sunday 8th at 9am.
We finish at Chobham's White hart pub
Are you going to join us? It would be amazing if you'd like to donate to this worthy cause