04/12/2025
🇹🇷 Kurdish wedding traditions in Türkiye, 👰♀🤵
Picture credit: permission to share by Memduh & Aslı, our lovely friends. The stunning Bride & Groom with family / Friends and me and Cen ❤️🇹🇷
Weddings among Kurdish communities in Türkiye (predominantly in the south-east, such as the provinces around Diyarbakır, Hakkâri, etc) are more than just a marriage of two individuals: they are a celebration of family ties, tribal/communal identity, cultural expression and joyous performance. For many, it is an opportunity to display communal pride, heritage and collective festivity.
The wedding often lasts for more than one day, involves large gatherings, extensive food, music and dancing.
2. Engagement & Preparation
Before the main wedding event, there’s the engagement / betrothal stage: the groom’s family asks for the bride’s hand, the families meet, a symbolic gift or dowry (mahr) may be discussed.
In many Kurdish weddings in Türkiye, the night before the wedding sees a “henna night” (similar to broader Turkish/Kurdish practices) in which the bride’s hands (and sometimes feet) are decorated with henna, symbolic of the transition, and a gathering of female relatives and friends occurs. In Diyarbakır for example, this is described in the “ancient story of the bride and the groom” piece.
3. Traditional Attire & Symbolism
Attire plays a major part:
Brides often wear vivid, richly embroidered dresses, with ornate jewellery, gold accessories. According to one source: the headpiece (“Shashik” coins) and the belt (often red or gold) are symbolic of wealth, fertility and protection.
Grooms might wear traditional Kurdish garments (“Shal u Shepik” loose trousers + tunic) or modern suits depending on region, but the traditional look is still highly valued.
The outfit is not just aesthetic: it expresses ethnic and cultural identity (Kurdish) alongside the wedding celebration.
4. Music, Dance & Celebration
One of the most distinctive and vibrant aspects of Kurdish weddings in Türkiye is the dance and music:
The folk dance Halay is very common — a circular/line dance where participants link hands or pinkies and follow rhythm, often to the accompaniment of traditional instruments (such as the davul drum and zurna wind instrument).
“everybody dances together … men, women, children … people you’ve never even met all hold hands while dancing for two hours straight.”
The music and celebrations are very upbeat, sometimes festival-level, with modern touches (LED screens, extended hours) alongside the folk core.
According to one article, gatherings can last all night with non-stop music & dancing.
5. Rituals and Symbolic Acts
Some key rituals:
Takı Töreni (Gift ceremony): In many Turkish- and Kurdish-style weddings, there is a ritual where guests pin gold coins or jewellery onto the bride (and sometimes groom) to offer good fortune / financial support.
Henna night (Kına gecesi / similar): The bride gets henna applied, symbolizing transition, blessing, protection. In Diyarbakır this is recorded in detail: tray of sweets, gold-coin pressed into her hand, prayers, music.
Bride procession (Gelin alma / gelin götürme): The groom’s side fetches the bride; there is music and sometimes festive vehicle.
Exchange or “Berdel” marriages: A more controversial tradition among some Kurdish communities is the “berdel” or “exchange” marriage: families swap daughters/sons to avoid paying bride price or for other traditional reasons. It still exists in some rural areas.
6. Regional Variations & Contemporary Shifts
The exact customs vary a lot depending on region, urban vs rural, and family background (tribal, modern, religious).
For example, a wedding in Hakkâri (August 2023) was reported with adherence to Kurdish traditions and involved two days of celebration.
Some older practices (e.g., house-based weddings, strict gender segregation) are shifting towards more modern formats (wedding halls, mixed-gender dancing, more western dress) especially in urban areas.
At the same time, the cultural dimension — use of Kurdish songs, identity, traditional dress — remains strong among many.
There is also critique: some traditions (like berdel) are under pressure and some young people oppose them.
7. Why It Matters: Cultural & Social Significance
A Kurdish wedding is a collective affair: beyond the couple, whole networks of family, community, clan often play active roles.
It’s a moment of expressing Kurdish cultural identity within Türkiye — through language, dress, music, dance, ceremony.
The festive aspect strengthens communal bonds, connects generations, preserves tradition while adapting.
It also intersects with socio-economic aspects: gifts, dowry, family contributions, status etc.
For outsiders or guests, attending a Kurdish wedding offers a vibrant cultural experience: the music, dance, warmth, scale typically stand out.
8. Things to Remember / Guest Tips
If you’re invited to a Kurdish wedding in Türkiye (or by a Kurdish family), it’s helpful to keep a few things in mind:
Expect lots of dancing, strong music, circular line dances (halay) — you’re likely to be pulled in.
Dress festively — bright colours/embroidery or traditional dress may be welcomed, though many guests wear modern elegant attire.
Gifts: sometimes gold, jewellery or cash is customary; ask or check with the hosts. Some accounts say gifts are not strictly required; the important thing is your attendance and participation.
Be prepared for the event to be long and lively. Food, drink, music, dancing can go on past what you might expect in a typical western wedding.
Respect local norms: especially if the event is in a more conservative area — there might be different rules around gender or modesty.
Embrace the experience: even if you don’t know every custom, joining the dance, enjoying the food, engaging with the celebration will go a long way.
9. Conclusion
In sum: Kurdish weddings in Türkiye are vibrant, culturally rich celebrations that blend ancient tradition and modern festivity. They bring together music, dance, dress, family, community and identity in one large joyful event. While some traditions evolve or fade, the core of communal celebration remains strong
