01/09/2025
I’m a 31-year-old mother to a wonderful 1-year-and-8-month-old boy. I’m sharing my story today in the hope that someone might learn from my mistakes.
I was once engaged to a truly good man. We started dating when I was a frustrated high school leaver with an uncertain future. He was my rock: my source of strength and peace for four years. He supported me emotionally while I earned my teaching diploma and even sacrificed his own phone for my research. We had our ups and downs, but we always found our way back to each other.
Things changed when I got a job in a different province. He was supportive through the entire application process and even stayed with me for my first two days at the new place.
Then came the first holiday. Loneliness hit me harder than I expected. A colleague introduced me to her male friend, a teacher. Feeling vulnerable, I eventually gave in to his advances, something I immediately regretted. When my fiancé visited, I ended it. But after he left, the other man returned, encouraged by my colleague.
I was weak again. We became intimate, and I got pregnant.
I confessed everything to my fiancé. And his response shattered me with its kindness. He suggested that we keep the baby and pretend it was his.
But I couldn't. I knew the child would always be a living reminder of my betrayal to him, to me, and to the child itself. Abortion wasn’t an option for me due to a past traumatic experience. So, with a broken heart, I ended our engagement. I told the other man, who sounded happy, or so I thought.
His family took back everything they had paid for the wedding. The other man moved in, and the reality began. The lies, the gaslighting, the utter lack of care. I cried throughout my pregnancy, fully realizing the magnitude of what I had lost.
I gave birth via C-section. Two weeks postpartum, he made me wash his clothes. He barely helped with our son and insisted I pay 80% of our bills. There is no love between us. Now, he even doubts his paternity though our boy is his exact replica.
He was recently transferred to my workplace. I wish he had been sent far away so we could go our separate ways. I am tired. I want out. Not to reunite with my ex—I know I left him devastated, and I don't deserve his forgiveness. I just wish for a transfer to raise my boy far from this toxicity.
My advice to everyone reading this is this: If you find someone whose love is so profound that they would embrace your deepest mistake to keep you, guard them with your entire life. That is a rare and precious peace. I had it and I failed to protect it. The result is a regret I will carry forever.
So help me God. I just needed to vent.
