Nonykingz import

Nonykingz import I post funny stories because life is already hard enough 😭😂

Little touches of beauty here too 👗
(12)

Omo, this lady don really suffer because of garri. 😂😂Somebody offered this lady garri yesterday.She looked at the bowl a...
19/08/2026

Omo, this lady don really suffer because of garri. 😂😂

Somebody offered this lady garri yesterday.
She looked at the bowl and asked:

“Na you dey buy this garri?”

The person said yes.

She quickly said:

“Abeg, hide am. I no wan see garri again.” 😭🤣

I asked, “Wetin garri do you?”

She said:

“During my NYSC days, na garri feed me almost every day.”

Then she laughed and said:

“I dey soak garri so often, my landlord thought I was running a small factory in my room.” 😭🤣🤣

I asked, “So why you no wan see am again?”

She said:

“Because after one month, even the groundnut started looking like luxury.” 😂😂😂

Omo...

If garri could talk, this lady would have to relocate. 😭🤣🤣

The lesson of the banana : 🍌😂😂I watched one man buy a banana yesterday.He picked one...Dropped it.Picked another...Then ...
18/08/2026

The lesson of the banana : 🍌😂😂

I watched one man buy a banana yesterday.

He picked one...

Dropped it.

Picked another...

Then squeezed it like he's checking somebody's forehead. 😭🤣

I asked, “Oga, wetin you dey look for?”

He said:

“I dey check if this banana has good character.” 😂😂

I laughed.

He peeled the banana...

Then suddenly frowned.

I asked, “Wetin happen?”

He said:

“See am. Outside fine, inside dey behave somehow.” 😭🤣

He threw it away.

I said, “Oga, na banana.”

He said:

“Na so people dey talk before relationship start.” 😂😂😂

Omo...

I went home and started looking at my own banana differently. 🍌😭🤣

At this point, the most stressful part of my day isn't work... it's checking how much MTN data I have left. 😂You buy 10G...
17/08/2026

At this point, the most stressful part of my day isn't work... it's checking how much MTN data I have left. 😂

You buy 10GB today.

By tomorrow, MTN is showing you 6GB.

You just stare at your phone like:

"So what exactly did we achieve yesterday?" 😭🤣

You check your balance again after watching just one video.

5.7GB.

MTN, abeg...
Was the video in 4K or did I accidentally download Netflix? 😂😂

The funniest part?
You start conserving the remaining data like it's your last inheritance. 😭🤣

At this point, buying MTN data isn't subscription.

Na survival strategy. 😂

Boy, if you see wetin man dey go through for this life, you go like make dem dey call you "Baby Boy." 😂😂I was talking to...
15/08/2026

Boy, if you see wetin man dey go through for this life, you go like make dem dey call you "Baby Boy." 😂😂

I was talking to one guy recently and he said:

"Bro, I miss when people used to call me baby boy."

I asked, "Why?"

He said:

"Before, if I say I'm hungry, somebody go ask me wetin I wan eat."

He paused...

"Now if I say I'm hungry, dem go ask me where my money dey." 😭🤣

Omo! 😂😂

As a boy, you dey receive pocket money.

As a man, your pocket dey receive responsibilities. 😭🤣

Honestly, if anybody calls me Baby Boy today...

I will not correct them.

I have suffered enough to deserve the title. 😂😂

When you see a bricklayer drinking beer in the afternoon, just know a bag of cement is missing already. 😂😂I passed a bui...
14/08/2026

When you see a bricklayer drinking beer in the afternoon, just know a bag of cement is missing already. 😂😂

I passed a building site around 2 PM and saw the bricklayer drinking cold beer under an umbrella.

I asked, "Oga, una don finish work?"

He said, "No, we still dey work."

I said, "So you dey celebrate wetin?" 😭🤣

He laughed:

"I just dey rest."

Rest?

Oga, the building never even reach your waist and you don reach happy hour. 😂😂

I asked, "At least the owner dey here?"

He said, "No, he travel."

Ahhh...

So the man who is supposed to check the work has travelled, and the man doing the work is now drinking beer. 😭🤣

I didn't ask another question.

I just walked away thinking:

Some people dey build houses... some people dey build according to their own time zone. 😂😂😂

As you don finally hold them for neck so... dey press am o! 😂I entered a barber shop and saw one man holding his friend ...
13/08/2026

As you don finally hold them for neck so... dey press am o! 😂

I entered a barber shop and saw one man holding his friend tightly from behind.

The guy in front was shouting:

"Omo, leave my neck!" 😭🤣

The barber was shouting:

"Hold am well! Hold am well!"

I thought fight don start.

Until I saw the clipper in the barber's hand. 😂

Apparently, the man was holding his friend's neck so he wouldn't move while the barber fixed the back of his head.

I just stood there.

Omo, this is the first haircut I've seen where the customer needs a bodyguard. 😭🤣🤣

Yesterday, I sent my younger brother:"Abeg, buy Panadol."He wore slippers and left.Five minutes later:"Which Panadol?"I ...
12/08/2026

Yesterday, I sent my younger brother:

"Abeg, buy Panadol."

He wore slippers and left.

Five minutes later:

"Which Panadol?"

I said, "Any one, sha."

He said:

"Okay, sha." 😂

Omo...

That "sha" was not an answer.
That was a man preparing to ask another question. 😭🤣

Two minutes later:

"How many?"

I said, "Just one!"

He said:

"One strip?"

I nearly entered the headache I was trying to treat. 😭😭🤣

I finally shouted:

"JUST BUY THE PANADOL!"

He said:

"Okay, sha."

At that point, I knew the Panadol wasn't for me anymore.

It was for the person coming back with him. 😂😂😂

🤣🤣 I was passing one street yesterday when I heard one loud voice..."Where are you hiding, Mama Amandaaaaaa?"Omo... I no...
11/08/2026

🤣🤣 I was passing one street yesterday when I heard one loud voice...

"Where are you hiding, Mama Amandaaaaaa?"

Omo... I no even know the woman, but the way the man shout am, I almost join the search. 😂😂

Within one minute, everybody for the street don pause wetin dem dey do.

One woman stop washing clothes.

One vulcanizer remove head from under motor.

Even one old man wey dey chop puff-puff ask:

"She never come out?" 🤣🤣
The funniest part?
The man no even look tired.
He just take another deep breath...
"MAMAAAAA AMANDAAAAAAA!" 😂😂

At that point, e no matter whether your name na Amanda or not...
Your body go still tell you to answer:

"Yes... wetin happen?" 🤣🤣🤣

Abeg confess...
Who else has ever heard somebody shout another person's name with so much commitment that the whole neighbourhood became emotionally involved? 😂👇

The moment palm wine changes taste... respect yourself. 🤣🤣That is no longer a drink...It has officially become an oral e...
10/08/2026

The moment palm wine changes taste... respect yourself. 🤣🤣

That is no longer a drink...
It has officially become an oral examination. 😂😂

One minute you were drinking like a billionaire...

The next minute you're sniffing the cup like a police dog on duty. 🤣🤣
Even your throat will pause first and ask:

"Oga... are we really doing this?" 😂

The funniest people are the ones who suddenly become part-time food inspectors.

"Abeg... where the meat dey first?" 🤣🤣

Because everybody knows...
Once the palm wine starts arguing with your tongue... your confidence must resign immediately. 😂🍶

One bag of rice dey reach one whole month for that house?? 🤣🤣Abeg, somebody should explain this thing before I start acc...
10/08/2026

One bag of rice dey reach one whole month for that house?? 🤣🤣

Abeg, somebody should explain this thing before I start accusing the rice of witchcraft. 😂

Because for some houses, rice enters on the 1st...
By the 30th, the same bag is still standing inside the kitchen like:

"Abeg, wetin I do these people? Why dem no dey finish me?" 😭🤣

In my own house, rice no even get opportunity to understand the environment.

They open the bag...

Scoop.

They cook.

Scoop.

They cook again.

Before you know it, the empty bag is hanging there like:

"So this is how my career ends?" 😂😂

But your own house?
Monday: rice.
Tuesday: rice.
Wednesday: rice.
Thursday, somebody suddenly says:

"Abeg, make we eat beans today."
The rice inside the kitchen will just be looking at everybody like:

"Wait... so una dey deliberately avoid me now?" 😭🤣🤣

Then somebody will open the cupboard and say:

"We still have plenty rice."

PLENTY?!

Omo, that rice has been inside that cupboard so long, even the rice itself is beginning to wonder:

"When exactly una wan remember say I dey here?" 😂😂

At this point, I don't think they are eating rice.

They are maintaining a relationship with it. 🤣🤣

Be honest...
If one bag of rice enters your house today, how many days before the rice starts regretting the decision to enter your family? 😂👇

Address

East Legon

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Nonykingz import posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Share

Category