25/12/2024
Episode #13: What I Wish I Had Learned Earlier in Life
F.E.A.R. = FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL AND LESSONS FOR LIFE
โDonโt let fear dictate your path; let it guide you toward courage, growth, and transformationโ
Fear is a universal experience. It is an emotion that touches every life, regardless of age, background, or circumstance. No one is immune to fear, and thatโs okay because fear is a natural part of being human. In the world of psychology, fear is described as an intense emotional response to a perceived threat or danger, a signal from our minds and bodies that something requires our attention. Fear has the power to be a great barrier that keeps us from reaching our full potential, paralyzing us in the face of opportunity.
When it comes to achieving our goals in academics, career and relationship, fear can be regarded as a master of disguise, presenting itself as big obstacles and whispering doubt, painting vivid scenarios of failure to us and tricking us into believing that our dreams or goals are impossible to reach. But when we look closer and strip fear of its disguise by first taking the action to face it, we often see it for what it truly is โFalse Evidence Appearing Real (FEAR)โ, a situation describing the creation of our minds rather than a reflection of reality. Believe me, most of our fears donโt actually exist outside our thoughts. They are stories we tell ourselves, born from uncertainty and magnified by inaction or failure to take the needed action. But here is the good news: just as our minds create fear, they can also dismantle it. My dear reader, fear is nothing more than the courage you havenโt claimed yet.
For years, fear controlled my life like an unseen force, pulling the strings of my decision, more often, my indecisions. Fear of criticism silenced my voice in critical meetings and discussions, even when I had ideas worth sharing. Fear of public speaking kept me in the shadows even when it became so necessary to lead seminars and workshops as facilitator or main speaker or trainer, watching opportunities pass me by. Fear of rejection and fear of trying something new wrapped me in a false sense of safety and a comfort zone that became my prison. I remember one specific opportunity that could have changed my life. It was a chance to lead a community project that aligned perfectly with my dreams and values. But the voice of fear whispered all the reasons I might fail or be judged harshly. So, I declined, telling myself it wasnโt the right time and someday, better one will come which never came. I watched as someone else took that chance, blossomed, and grew, while I stayed stuck in the same place, my heart heavy with regret.
Looking back, I see how fear robbed me of countless moments of growth, joy, and purpose. It wasnโt the world that held me back; it was me, clinging to fears that only existed in my mind. I wish someone had told me then that fear stands for โFalse Evidence Appearing Real.โ If I had understood that fear is often a mirage, my story would be different. I would have embraced challenges, taken risks, and learned from failures instead of avoiding them. I have learned this lesson in a hard way but it is never too late. Regret is only a chapter, not the whole story. Today, I am choosing to rewrite my narrative. I am stepping into the light, confronting my fears, and reclaiming my life one.
To anyone reading this, donโt let fear overstay its welcome when it shows up in your life, because trust me, it will come knocking whether you invite it or not. Fear is like that uninvited guest who eats all our food and leaves us completely drained, showing no mercy whatsoever. The longer we dwell in fear, the stronger it becomes. Like a shadow at sunset, it grows larger, taller, darker, and more intimidating with inaction. Psychologically, fear thrives in the space between our hesitation and our action, feeding on our doubts and magnifying itself until it feels intimidating. Fear is borrowed from our own uncertainty and the more we avoid confronting it, the more it seeps into our thoughts, paralyzing our decisions and placing a barrier between us and our dreams.
What then is the way forward. From my experience ranging from how I overcame fear of rejection, fear of public speaking, fear of criticisms and many more, I have come to one profound realization and that is the antidote to fear is action. Yes, action is the bridge between where we are and where we want to be and only requires a willingness to try. Courage begins when fear ends, and fear ends the moment you take that first step.
My dear reader, as you sit down to reflect on 2024 and set your goals for 2025, I want to encourage you to take note of the following.
1) Take that first step, however small. Understand practically that, you can never reach your destination if you donโt take the first step. Each small action builds momentum and confidence.
2) Have that conversation youโve been avoiding. Whether itโs asking for the promotion you deserve, seeking the assistance you need, or sharing your ideas boldly with others, these often-overlooked conversations can lead to breakthroughs in your life.
3) Start that project youโve been postponing. Whether itโs learning a new skill or launching your business idea, beginning brings clarity and fuels progress.
4) Reach out for help. Call that mentor or friend youโve been meaning to connect with for years but hesitated due to fear. Often, seeking advice or encouragement provides the perspective and guidance you need to move closer to your dreams.
5) Say yes to new opportunities. Accept invitations to step outside your comfort zone and do the things youโve been afraid to tackle but know are vital for your growth. Opportunities often lead to unexpected and transformative growth.
Action shrinks fear. It shines a light into the dark corners where doubt resides, revealing that many fears are illusions, conjured by overthinking and uncertainty. Each action you take weakens fearโs grip, and confidence grows with every step, no matter how imperfect that step may be. As Ralph Waldo Emerson wisely said, โDo the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain.โ
Are you ready to confront your fears today? Now is the right timeโnot โsomeday,โ because someday may never come. Youโre stronger than you think, and the world is waiting for you to step into your greatness. Remember, the first and most important requirement for achieving greatness is taking action now.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE!
Seiba Issifu
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