27/11/2024
I sit alone in our dimly lit apartment as l do always, surrounded by the echoes of memories. The scent of jollof rice and fried plantains wafts from the kitchen, a reminder of the life we've built together. My eyes fixed on an old photograph in my hands, a picture of us taken on our first anniversary. We're smiling, arms wrapped around each other, and our eyes shine with a love that seemed invincible. I still remember the day like it was taken yesterday. We were so in love, so full of hope and dreams for our future together. Five years have passed since then, and everything has changed. As I glance around the room, I'm taken aback by how familiar everything looks. But something is different now. The love that once burned so brightly between us has flickered out, leaving only embers of what used to be.
I think back to the countless nights I've spent lying awake from my husband, feeling his arm draped over me but unable to muster the same affection. I've tried to convince myself that it's just a phase and that the spark will return. But deep down, I know it won't. My husband is a great man and a kind person. Very responsible. He does not deserve any of these. He deserves someone better than me. The problem is, I'm terrified to let go. I'm afraid of the judgment that will come from our families and friends and society. In our Ghanaian culture, divorce is often seen as a failure, a shame that brings dishonour to the family. I'm afraid of being ostracized, of being labelled as a "failed woman."
The thought of starting over, of building a new life from scratch, and how hurt my husband would be is daunting. As I sit here, surrounded by the shadows of our past, I feel the weight of my emotions bearing down on me. I know I'm not alone in this struggle. Many women face similar challenges, trapped in loveless marriages due to societal pressure and fear of judgment. But I'm ready to face it, to fight for my own happiness, no matter the cost, am l that selfish?. What do I ? I need help.
