TSFU the Podcast

TSFU the Podcast That’s So F**ked Up is a podcast about cults, murder and other generally f**ked up stuff!

I just realized something about my comfort shows… apparently all of the ones that I rewatch fall into one of two categor...
20/02/2026

I just realized something about my comfort shows… apparently all of the ones that I rewatch fall into one of two categories:

• chaotic sitcoms where everyone’s life is worse than mine orrrr…
• dystopian/trapped-in-a-system stories where people have to band together and figure out the rules to survive

I made a list of my Top 30 comfort shows (and why they help me feel regulated when the world feels like it’s on fire)… but the ones pictured in this post are my current top 7. Yes, I watch a lot of TV 😅

That list is free on Patreon, linked in the show notes of today’s new episode and in our Discord 🥳

But I wanna know, what’s YOUR emotional-support show? Your girl needs some new ish to binge 🤣❤️‍🩹

17/02/2026

I did it!! I learned the dance and found a location and filmed it andddd put a filter on it and am posting it.

Who’s got two thumbs and is healing through fun, self-compassion, humor and validating herself! This gal 💁‍♀️👍💗

17/02/2026

People always ask me “are you on YouTube?” and “why don’t you do video?”… here is my answer 😅

Social media is generally pretty performative and takes a lot of time and effort to make look awesome…

AuDHD queen here with limited spoons

Going 50’s housewife… aka learning how to cook and feed myself at 38 😅Homemade salsa and guac, penne arrabbiata, tuna po...
13/02/2026

Going 50’s housewife… aka learning how to cook and feed myself at 38 😅

Homemade salsa and guac, penne arrabbiata, tuna poké/sunomono salad bowl, watermelon/mint/mozzarella salad… feeling pretty proud of my little home menu 🥹

And how fun (and often overwhelming lol) that I get to do my grocery shopping in a local warung (local store)!?

06/02/2026

I hesitate to post pics from my move to Bali because they make it look like all sunshine and rainbows. And it has been many of those…

It’s also been one of the loneliest, most challenging times of my life, but that’s not what we show on social media.

Being a 38 year old AuDHD woman moving across the world alone, losing a lot of support and security, and figuring it all out on my own has been really hard. I’ve often wondered if what I’m doing is crazy. I lost a lot of friends and family and safety nets and for months didn’t have access to my medication and had far too much anxiety and depression to continue the podcast.

I’ve been in a consistent state of fight, flight, freeze and/or grief for almost two years. I don’t want to sound ungrateful…. I just want to let my other AuDHD people out there know that they’re not alone. And that it’s ok to say that you’re suffering even when everyone else tells you how thankful you should be.

I am. I am grateful for a chance at a fresh start. I’m also pretty lost and frozen and feel alone on most days. But I have hope that it will get better and I’m glad that people are talking about neurodivergence more 🫶

17/01/2026

First post in TEN months! I know it’s late for a 2025 rewind but I’ve always been one to hop on trends far after their heyday 😅

I knew we covered the trafficking and abuse of a ton last year but I definitely didn’t realize how much I said his name!

Did you like the stories we did on Bam, Amanda Rabb, Lima Jevremović and ?

2009: I was lead in an indie student film at my community college, so much fun, I miss acting 🩵2020: At my personal assi...
30/10/2024

2009: I was lead in an indie student film at my community college, so much fun, I miss acting 🩵

2020: At my personal assistant job that I had while at San Francisco State University studying broadcasting with the intention of being a podcaster (yes it took me over 10 years to get my BA, but I did it and I did it by myself). The sticker on my phone says “Sex on Air”, my first radio show 🩵

2024: I’ve been a podcaster for almost 5 years and am starting to dig into more investigative work. There have been a lot of ups and downs, and a lot of downs recently, but it’s good to look back at the progress. I’ve always wanted to entertain people and as I grew, informing and helping became an even more aspect of my work. Despite feeling like a failure most of the time, apparently I’ve been doing this damn thang for at least 15 years 🩵

Thanks for this reminder Janice Adams 💗

I’m shaking as I write this as it’s only something that’s been shared with close people in my life, and then our Patrons...
07/10/2024

I’m shaking as I write this as it’s only something that’s been shared with close people in my life, and then our Patrons (aka my life’s biggest frickin supporters, I love you all so much), so far.

As many of you might have noticed and have been pretty quiet lately and the podcast release schedule has been pretty all over the place with a lot of release dates missed recently. Life has been So Fcked Up.

I have an episode coming out soon with .files about accessible health care and resources, as well as an update on the most insane year of my life since I was SA’d and had a year long relapse in 2018. This is the lowest point in my life since starting the podcast 🥺

We actually recorded that episode right after a very intense breakup and right before I lost my housing. Throughout August and September of this year I have experienced housing insecurity which was intensely traumatic and led to a full on relapse. As a lot of you know I’ve been sober for 9.5 years and since I’m not in the cult of AA I don’t take my time away from myself for falling. I try to give myself grace as I pick myself back up again.

Both of my biological parents are mentally ill, and/or have substance abuse issues. Both of them constantly face incarceration or the possibility of being unhoused. And they’re fu***ng terrifying steps to try to not follow. And generational trauma is a very real thing.

I’m entering an outpatient program for substance abuse and mental health issues soon and hope to get back to my passion soon- you guys and the fcked up stuff we all really care about 🩵 Be kind, everyone is fighting an unseen battle. And if you’re also struggling (I know this has been a tough year for a lot of people), know you’re not alone.

FLASH SALE! Sign up for an annual subscription of Patreon at any level, in the next two weeks, and get ONE YEAR FREE!! A...
05/08/2024

FLASH SALE! Sign up for an annual subscription of Patreon at any level, in the next two weeks, and get ONE YEAR FREE!! Annual subscriptions also get a 15% discount!

That’s $51 for two years at the RIDE or DIE level, $102 for two years of the Devotee $10 level, etc!

At the Devotee level you get:
TSFU tote bag
TSFU pocket-knife/multi-tool
“That’s So Fcked Up” keychain
Thank you card and TSFU stickers
Access to our secret Discord channels
Patreon exclusive monthly “Ash Learns the Bible” episodes
Patreon exclusive monthly “TSFU Presents” episodes
Access to 200+ episodes available ONLY on Patreon
All episodes ad-free
Early release on regular episodes
Shoutout on an episode
15% off merch

Check out Patreon.com/tsfu for more info!! Flash sale ends Monday 8/19!

It’s happening! Come join me for my first class THIS Sunday 7/21 at Collyer Park in Longmont at 8 am! Can’t wait to see ...
17/07/2024

It’s happening! Come join me for my first class THIS Sunday 7/21 at Collyer Park in Longmont at 8 am! Can’t wait to see you there 🩵🥳🧘

It’s my birthday!! Bonus year of 37 because I legit thought that I was 37 all of last year even though I was 36 🤣Please ...
17/07/2024

It’s my birthday!! Bonus year of 37 because I legit thought that I was 37 all of last year even though I was 36 🤣

Please don’t tie me up (in the song post lol) but I’d loooove if you’d leave a rating or review on my pod, best present I can ask for! Xoxo 😚 I’m also going to start a for legal protection as I get ready to take on some litigious people, so look out for that if you’ve got a few extra shekels to throw at free speech and investigative journalism!

37 is going to be my best year yet. I can feel it. I won’t say easiest because those things irritatingly seem to go hand in hand. But here’s to more therapy, emotional and mental growth, professional growth and taking on more serious cases, manifesting more prosperity and better health, and to finally being diagnosed and medicated for ADHD 🥳

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