02/06/2020
I've been feeling overwhelmed recently. Trying to find my place in the chaos that has embroiled the US and the world.
After sitting with it for awhile I realized what's overwhelming are emotions I've resisted connecting with.
To be honest, the discussion around and triggers old feelings of guilt and shame in me.
After taking some time to lean into these feelings a few things have come up.
1. I'm white and I am privileged.
2. My privilege is not my fault. This is analgous to how being a man is not my fault, or that it's not my fault that I did not feel seen or heard as a child.
3. I have a responsibility to attempt to understand and question the impact the privileges I've been given have on my life and, perhaps more importantly, how the way I respond to this privilege impacts others.
4. Racisim is no different than any other beliefs we hold or, more importantly in this case, think we do not hold. Unless we shine a light on them, question them and seek to understand them they will remain in the darkness, a part of our shadow, and influence our thoughts and behaviors in ways that are not in alignment with who we want to be.
5. The discussion we have the opportunity to have right now is not about me or you. It's about something much greater. It's about what those of us who are privileged can do to help those who are not.
6. There is very little in my life I can control, including riots in the US. All I can do is influence the direction I'm heading by taking responsibility for what I feel around my privilege and choosing how I respond to what I've been given.
7. I've been given male, white privilege. This does not make me who I am. What I choose to do with this makes me who I am.
8. Today, I choose to acknowledge my privilege by asking what I can give, not what I can get.
I'm privileged because of what I've been given. I'm responsible for what I create with what I've been given.