14/03/2026
Nevermind.
I tried condensing my whole artistic and creative experience into a tagline of passivity, but doing so is dishonest. A lot has happened lately, and I think it's only right that I explain things.
The start of this year has been... difficult. I started the year with a brainstem infection which left me with nearly a month long case of vertigo. My eyes were twisting in their own sockets and I could barely stand. I fought hard to regain my balance, but midway through healing, I was knocked down again with the passing of my grandfather. I was lucky to have been with him in his final moments, to not only care for him, but to have the time required for me to find acceptance in that loss. With everything, I had to take time away from school, from work, but the financial stresses only piled on. Then of course, not long after, my hard drive died. Something that carried over a decade of my creative life, my life. Years of music, ideas, projects, moments... all gone. I felt like everything I had done up to this point had just been a waste of time.
Through the daily stresses of life, I've carried these things. Carried on top of the weary shoulders of my accumulated experiences. I'm autistic OCD with additional disabilities, so these experiences simply don't disappear. They only grow in their burden. Everything has been coming to a head, until it all started crashing down yesterday. I'm thankful for the messages a kind words though. They are what's kept some of this structure together. However, with that I think it's time to acknowledge the necessity of stepping back for awhile. I’m taking a short break to restructure things and reconnect with myself. Not the creative me, but the inner me. When I return in a few weeks, the music will come back with me, but some things will change.
There's something that's bothered me for a long while now about modern algorithms, and music in the modern era. The passive consumption of art, the lose of intention and meaning. This affects not only the creator, but the viewer, the listener, the person experiencing as well. Moving forward I want to bring back that intention. I will be disabling comments and likes, and opting for different forms of engagement. I know that means platforms like YouTube won’t push the content as much, but I want this to be a space where discovery and intention means something. Where connection goes hand in hand with the act of seeking. If you discover my music, that will be your experience. You can seek it out or remain passive, but seeking is seeing. And seeing goes both ways.
I want to create things that are meaningful, not just to me, but to others. I want to bring back the intention of how things used to be. Not by making things harder to find, but by leaving them in place to be found. To be picked up, understood, and shared with the people who mean something to us. That’s how we carry intention forward. That’s how we hold on to meaning in a world that moves much too fast and cares far too little. I'll make more announcements on this when I return.
Before I step away for a bit, I want to give a quick shoutout to someone who sent me a private message that meant so much to me. It not only inspired me to keep going, but it also reminded me why I started creating in the first place. Thank you, Sophia.
The reason I started creating things in the first place, was because I wanted to give others the experiences I always longed for. At times it also meant resynthesizing the experiences that defined me, but this time through me. So, I want to be more honest going forward in that intention.
Music, art, stories… they mean everything to me. My creative life has been my life for almost as long as I’ve been alive. It’s how I process the world, my past, and my future. I also think it’s healthy to go forward remembering that I’m still me underneath all of it. I'm a father. A peace loving person. A creative, meaning-making soul. Someone who laughs at his own jokes. Someone who finds joy in connection. I’ve been translating nearly all of my experiences through music and art without realizing how isolated I’ve become in that. That's not why I started creating. Not to build walls, but to break them.
So this time away will be about reconnection. Reconnecting with myself, with others, and with the dreams that first gave birth to this desire to create in the first place.
I’ll be back with more announcements and music in the future. For now, I'll be taking a little break. Until then.
