Stephen ke ochieng

Stephen ke ochieng Follow � me��

09/04/2024

💯___MAMA YAKO ANAJUA MNANYONYANA VITU ZA KUSUSU😂😂😂

27/01/2024

💯 Nimefika Nigeria nikasikia tu OGA! OGA! ni k**a wamesikia sijaoga😹😹😹

21/01/2024

akitaka kitu tight angekukatia ukiwa 2years.....shine with your borehole siz😂😂😂😂

30/12/2023

Wakale si condinue ni continue fanya hivi mdomo con 😦 nti 😬 nue 😯 sitawafunza Kila kitu 😆💔

10/11/2023

Me as a stepfather after mtoi amerudi home late.🙄"Umetoka kutafuta babako, sindio"?🙄🤣💔🤌🏃

07/09/2023

Mwenye matako hana sura🙄Mwenye sura hana matako🙄Mwenye vyote ni malaya🙄Lazima tu kikurambe🙄🤣💔🤌🏃

02/08/2023

Umetulia tu Kwa mat kidogo kidogo unaona mpoa wako Kwa wallpaper ya mtu🤦💔😂

22/07/2023

Today marks 103years, since the titanic ship ⛵ sank...
let respect the victims by putting our phone in water for 3 mins😢😢😢😂

14/07/2023

Welcome to kenya..!
where people leave as they return
"acha niende ivi nakam"..😂😅
where the husband huitwa baby and the son huitwa baba..😂😅😅
where you dont need to go to masai mara to see a hyena. They are seated right next to you.!...😅😂😅😂
This is kenya;
where a young man is called Babu owino and old man is called Kijana wamalwa,nkt.!😅😂🤣
Only in kenya where Wafula hangs on a chopper in broad daylight but denies it in court and the cops asks for time to investigate...😂😂😂
Where after four hour conversation someone, as he says goodbye...tells you "wee tutaongea.!"🤣😂😂
Only in kenya where you board a matatu with five people only to realise you were actually the first one, hao wengine walikua wa "kujaza..!"🤣😂😂
Only in kenya where you pray with your eyes open🙄😳🥺 coz your pocket can be a blessing to somebody you don't expect.🤣😂😅😂

05/07/2023

Her : hi😘.
Me : hi too 😊.
Her : unaitwa?
Me : na Nani? 🤔
Her I mean unaitwa Nani?
Me :ohh naitwa Steve
Her : Kutoka wapi?
Me : Kutoka kitambo🙂.
Her : I mean unakaa wapi?
Me : nakaa kwa nyumba☺.
Her : Gaii side gani?
Me : side ya corner😮.
Her : ni k**a hunielewi nini..
Me : maybe 🙄.
Her : unaishi wapi ?😫
Me : c naishi Kwa nyumba ama unafikiri naishingi nje?🤓
Her : Waah sawa😐, nlipewa izi number na beshte wako.
Me : Ukimaliza nayo, shughuli mrudishie🤗
Her : huh anyway naitwa Caro.
Me : Ukimaliza kuitwa rudi kwenu😎, SYEENZI SANA😁😁😁.

02/07/2023

Treat your wife well and God will give you another one.
🤗🤗

01/07/2023

Advice kwa madem😁🥳🧖🧖
Madem muache kulala ndeeeee time ya mechi🍊 ka panga baridi yenye imelala nje siku tatu 😀😀🥱 try to be romantic ,time jamaa ako juu🥰usikodoe macho ukimuangalia straitight ka gaidi ya kariadudu😂😬jifante uko shy uku ukifunga macho na na vidole mbili toa vidole then ukimkiss ukistop ndo umuongeze sike😘😘 sio kuangalia mabati ya nyumba k**a fundi wa saa ama mtoto wa shule anangoja time ya lunch😁😀😀 akiendelea kupump mshike haga aongeze speed alafu umspank..huwa hawapendi so this itafanya mhave fun in that mtacheka venye atareact😀😀😘😘 muite sweet names like beiby😘sweetheart 🥰darling🥰 usinyamaze tu ka maiti😆😆alafu ukimoan make it romantic si kumake unnecessary noise izo make makelele zinafanya boy afeel like anachezwa sa hatakuwa na moral ya kudinya adi🤪akitaka kumwaga mbele yako mpe moral by kuzungusha kiuno pole pole ndo a take time asimwage mbio ka kuku😘ikifika time yako ya kusquit ifanye in a romantic way🥰adi afeel amefanya kazi ndo arudi round two na moral🥰😘😘mkishatulia kiasi msikae sana ju dick italala completely😇so mkiss pole pole ukipanda ju mos mos bila haraka ukicheza na chuma🥱😆 😀😀muonyeshe vile pia wewe unaelewa izi vitu si style moja ka kifo cha mende🦦 kwani wewe ni mende😀we ni binadamu alaaa kuja juu🐕‍🦺 ride chuma polepole sio haraka ni ka unataka kuivunja😀😀make sure unazungusha kiuno ukiride pole pole😆😆ukiendelea kuride pia unamkiss😘😘😆😆 utaskia fala ina moan aaaaah aaaaah aaaah😀😀ujue ako kumwaga😀😀toka ju muekelee doggy🐈‍⬛make sure nunu yote iko nje😀😀🥱 apige vitu kupiga na unamoan ka mzungu si aaw aaw aaw apo baaaas kwani we ni ambulance😀😀 fanya ivi aaaah aaah oooaww oooaw🥰🥰😘 msee atamwaga yote from the factory😀😀 na mnalala kidogo sio kando kando k**a wajinga apana unamlalia kwa kifua🙈🤦🥰😘🥰😘🥰🥰..wapi makofi yangu 🙄wakuu jamani🥱

30/06/2023

Ticha wa Mao Anaandika Hesabu kwa Ubao zile za 10marks Machopi wanasimama Wanaenda kufanya Sisi Huku nyuma Mabackbenchers Hata hatujui Ni Lesson gani inaendelea😂 Mm nimelala😂 JOSHUA Na wenzake wako stori😂 Na hta E hawafikishangi time ya results😂 Nikaamuka JOSHUA Akashika Mkono wangu akauinua Ndio Ticha Akadai,, Yes Collins Come and Calculate this For us😂 Nikaimagine vile napatanga paper ya Mao 001😂Nikaanza kutetemeka Magoti😂 Nikasimama Students wakaanza kunipigia makofi🤒 Nikataka Karatasi ya kitabu Ticha akajua Kwa hyo karatasi ndio nimefanyia hyo hesabu Naenda kuwaonyesha😂 Nikielekea kwa Ubao Backbenchers Wakaanza kushout collo Chopi🗣️ collo Chopi🗣️ Mpka Principal akatoka kwa Ofisi Kuja Kuona nikifanya hyo mao😂 Kufika Kwa Ubao Nikaambia ticha " Nilikua nakuomba Ruhusa😂 Niende Choo nikakunie😂"
Nilipigwa Ndondi na Principal Na nikafukuzwa shule😂....

29/06/2023

👉Mschana 👸wa jirani 👌aliamua kuenda🚶 kuchuna maembe 🍋kwa Mzee flani👩‍🦼 ,,,🙄akapanda mti🌲 na kuanza kuangusha😋 maembe🍋 ,,Mzee 👩‍🦼kuskia akaja kuona👁️👁️ ni nani 🤷anachuna maembe 🍋yake , kuangalia juu ya mti 🌲Akaona 👁️👁️Dem bila suruali🤦 ya ndani akamwambia ashuke ,😂Mzee akaingiza mkono🖐️ kwa mfuko 🤷akatoa 500 bob akapea huyu 👸dem aende🚶 anunue panty 😂,,,Dem akaenda 🚶akaelezea🗣️ mamake kilicho fanyika ,,🤷,mamake.😂 Kuona ivo akaamua kuenda bila panty 😂🙆akapanda mti 🌲na kuanza kuangusha maembe🍋 Mzee kuskia akaja 👩‍🦼kuangalia 👁️👁️juu ya mti 🌲Akaona👁️👁️ mama 👰akaamua kumwambia 🗣️ashuke ,🤷,so mama akadhani atapewa pesa excess kuliko ya mschana wake 😂😂Mzee alitoa ten bob kwa mfuko🤦 akamwambia aende anunue wembe🎫 anyoe😂😂😂

29/06/2023

Teacher :nani aliua Goliath ??
Student 1 : sio sisi🙄
Student 2 : mimi sikuashule jana 😏
Student 3 :sisi hatujui 🙆
The teacher went to the headteacher and told him " can you imagine hiyo class haijui nani aliua Goliath??
The headmaster stormed to the class
Headmaster :nani aliua Goliath ?
Student 4: sisi hatujui 😏😏
Headmaster : shida ni mkose kuniambia !!
Student 5: walai mwalimu hatujui😭
The headmaster turned to the teacher and asked......
Headmaster : uko sure Goliath aliuliwa na mtu wa hii class kweli😊😆
The teacher fainted🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣still

29/06/2023

Jana😇 ndio nilijua hii kimbelembele yangu itaniharibia CV🤗. Sasa jana kuna wedding ingine hapo niliattend🙂. Si mnajua mimi nakuwanga yule mbaya😋 kwa madem.Time ya kukula ilipokaribia💪 nikaenda kuketi karibu na dem kengine kasupa🙍 wah!
Nikaji introduce naitwa brayo🤗 kutoka kanairo, akasema anaitwa Mueni🤓 kutoka Makueni.

M.C. aka announce time ya food🏋 imefika, so watu wapange line ya food😊. Mimi na ujinga wangu nikajifanya🤕 sijasikia na saizo niko na njaa kibao. Sikuwa nataka kujichomea kwa huyo dem💁, so nika relax tu🙂. Nikakaa nikimkatia😀 na pia nikiomba kiroho🤐aende apange line ya food ili nimfuate pia mimi lakini wapi? Mtoto wa wenyewe akabaki ameketi.

Sasa vile nimeendelea kujifanya sisikii njaa😐, boy mwingine hapo mtall🕴akacome from nowhere hadi place tulikuwa tumekaa, akapea huyo dem Sahani😬 iko na food. Nikasikia kulia😭 nikauliza huyo dem🤔eti huyo boy ni nani kwake. Akanishow ni chali yake😱.
Nikakasirika😖 nikaenda kupanga line ya food. Juu hiyo laini ilikuwa ndefu, nikapita hadi nikafika mbele😜. Kufika mbele WOI😲😲?! Nikapata sahani zimeisha na ninaumwa na njaa walahi😤. Ndio nikaona kwa kona fulani watu wakichukua sahani😦 zishatumiwa. But kuenda kuchukua nikapata zimeisha😢😢 uuuuui!
Kwa bahati nzuri nikaona kaboy kengine kakikam na plates mob zenye zishatumiwa🤑, nikajinyakulia moja waaaah, but Kufika karibu na food nikapata food yote imeisha😡.

Nikajisikilia huruma😕. Before niende kuketi, nikaona kisahani kamefunikwa hapo chini ya Meza za food😁. Nikapimia kwanza nikaona hakuna mzee ananiangalia😀. Nikainama na kuchukua🤓. Hiyo plate Ilikuwa na food imekuliwa nusu, halafu ilikuwa na nyama kaa zote😋.

Nikachapa survey😷😷 tena ndio niende kuketi but kuangalia place kiti yangu ilikuwa😝, nikaona Kale dem kamecheka yake yote hadi karibu aanguke😌. Kumbe alikuwa ananipimia tu😳. Nikakasirika😖😖 sana na nikaanza kukula😜 hizo nyama but kuangalia juu nikapata camera zote zinanimulika😫! Nikafaint😂😂😂😂.
🚶 🚶 🛀 .

28/06/2023

Siku hizi hamnitaki jamenii 😭😭
Mnanipea likes mbili k**a makende ya mbuzi buana🥴🙄🙄

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+254745245728

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