19/09/2025
🚨 FEAR. MEN. 🚨
If you haven’t drawn up a timetable to allocate hours of your day to actively fear men, then my darling, you’re already behind schedule.
Do you remember — with his FULL chest — when Gerald Anderson declared Julia Barretto was the one? Soulmate talk, wedding prep, the whole fairy-tale package. He sold us dreams like a cheap vendor in Divisoria.
Let’s not forget how he left Bea Alonzo to date herself, only to parade Julia like a trophy. Then when we came for his neck, he had the audacity — the gall, the nerve — to paint us as the villains.
And for SIX years, SIX whole years, this man forced that relationship like an assignment he didn’t want to do. He stayed long enough just to gaslight us into thinking we were the problem. Sir, the real problem was your true nature — and it came out like rot under fresh paint.
But perhaps the biggest tragedy here? Julia Barretto. The poor girl was ready to hang up her career, become a forest housewife, and disappear from our timelines — all for Gerald Anderson. Sis battled Bea Alonzo AND the entire nation online just to prove she deserved this man. For WHAT? To be served betrayal on a silver platter?
Ladies, let me say this loud: after the countless, publicly documented scandals this man has dragged women through, how are y’all still enrolling in Gerald Anderson University of Heartbreak? What self-respecting woman jumps aboard a sinking ship before it even leaves the harbor?
And finally, the question of the century: how many missing ribs does Gerald Anderson have? Because clearly, he’s been out here on a relentless scavenger hunt for “the one” since time immemorial.
Fear men. Fear the cycle of doom!