Kenia News, Moi (2025)

05/07/2025

I got over 40 reactions on one of my posts last week! Thanks everyone for your support! 🎉

04/07/2025

1. Never shake a hand sitting down.

2. Protect who is behind you, and respect who is beside you.

3. If you are not invited, don't ask to go.

4. Remember the Russian proverb "Trust but verify"

5. Dress well no matter what the occasion.

6. Don't take credit for work you didn't do.

7. Always carry cash.

8. Never insult the cooking when you are the guest.

9. Listen, nod, and most of all make eye contact.

10. Take the blame, and give credit when due.

11. Show restraint in expressing anger, no matter what. Being angry is a waste of energy.

12. Whether is dinner, drinks, or both, avoid placing your phone on the dinner table.

13. Alcohol is bad for you.

14. Proper grammar will get you far in life. Leave the foul language for the less educated.

15. Ask more than you answer.

16. You can tell a great deal about a person by their handshake, so make your strong and firm.

04/07/2025

Nimepiga round CBD leo, nikashindwa k**a nimeingia welding workshop. Kazi kubwa ni ya kuchomelea milango ya chuma juu shutter siku hizi ni k**a tissue paper – mtu anakata na wembe anaingia na mzigo anaenda. Nairobi sio mahali pa kucheza tena weuh! 🫢🔥

04/07/2025

A rare photo of a Royal Guard standing watch outside the majestic palace… somewhere deep in Wakanda. 🛡️👑

The king is inside watching Inooro TV and sipping porridge from a calabash. The princess just entered with chapatis and avocado. Security has been beefed up. No one is allowed to touch the sacred Safari Boots or the royal Bata slippers 😤

This is not a drill. This is Wakanda Shaggz Outpost – Kakamega Branch. Only the chosen ones can decode this level of security. 😂😂

If you know, you know… 😅🤪🤪😅

04/07/2025

😂 BREAKING NEWS FROM KENYA! 😂
A landlord in Githurai has taken the war on “bed creaking” to a whole new level – and Kenyans can’t stop talking!

Tired of sleepless nights filled with mysterious “kriiii kriiii kriiii” sounds coming from his tenants’ rooms, Mzee Kamotho, a no-nonsense landlord, has shocked the entire estate by constructing permanent concrete beds in all his rental units!

Yes – PERMANENT BEDS! No more bed frames. No more mattress-on-metal noises. Just a 4x6 slab of reinforced cement, rising proudly from the floor like a monument of silence.

“I was tired of those midnight Olympics. Every day I’d hear vuta, sukuma, pigia kona sounds,” the frustrated landlord told journalists. “You’d think people were moving furniture or rehearsing for a wrestling match!”

Tenants were given two options:
1. Accept the concrete beds, or
2. Relocate to another estate full of squeaky sins.

And it gets juicier — the slab even comes with an inbuilt USB charging port and a painted headboard written “Peace Be Still” 😂

One tenant confessed anonymously, “Hii ni mtego wa mzee. Hakuna vituko tena. You try anything and your knees will remember.” 😂

The move has gone viral, with some praising him for “promoting morals and sleep hygiene,” while others say he’s singlehandedly ending Nairobi’s bedroom industry.

Meanwhile, Kamotho has applied for a patent on his Silent Concrete Bed™. If approved, he plans to franchise the idea to all noisy flats across East Africa.

Welcome to Kenya, where even landlords are tired of fake moaning and bed concerts!

🛏️🇰🇪💪😂

04/07/2025

Drama in Kisumu as Motivational Speaker Faces Wrath After Claiming He Started Fish Export Biz with a Cup of Omena 😳🐟

It all started like a normal Tuesday at the Kisumu social hall. The sun was out, chairs arranged, and unemployed youths had gathered in droves to attend what was advertised as a “Youth Economic Empowerment Bootcamp.”

Enter the speaker — dressed in a three-piece suit, polished shoes that looked like they’ve never touched red soil, and sunglasses that refused to come off even inside the hall. He introduced himself as “an international fish tycoon with humble beginnings.”

But what triggered pure chaos was his next statement:

“Young people, I began my empire with just one cup of omena. Today, I export over 7 tonnes of fish weekly to China and Dubai!”

There was a moment of awkward silence. Then a young man at the back shouted,

“Bro, even sugar needs capital! Tunaumwa hapa!”

Another asked,

“So you boiled one cup of omena until it turned into dollars?”

Within minutes, the hall turned into a drama theatre. Youths stood up, clapped sarcastically, some demanding “proof of the cup.” One lady shouted,

“Even my grandmother had two basins of omena — she’s still broke!”

Tensions rose. Chairs flew. A plastic jug meant for water was thrown like a discus. The motivational speaker tried to calm the crowd by shouting,

“It’s the mindset! You must believe!”

But it was too late. Security had to whisk him out as an angry crowd sang protest tunes, some even chasing him down Obote Road demanding he “return that one cup of omena and motivate himself back to Nairobi.”

One witness summarized the scene:

“Hii si motivational talk, hii ni mental harassment!”

Sources say he was later spotted at a local hotel quietly ordering chips na kuku — no omena in sight.

Moral of the story: When in Kisumu, be humble with your fish tales. These youths have seen real struggle. 🐟🔥😅

04/07/2025

📍 Kenyan YouTuber Diana Daisy Currently Exploring Papua New Guinea 🇰🇪❤️🇵🇬

Fam! If you’ve been wondering where Diana Daisy disappeared to, she didn’t just switch off her phone – she switched continents! Our very own content queen is currently in Papua New Guinea, and what she’s doing there is nothing short of magic.

From the bustling streets of Nairobi to the thick jungles and misty mountains of PNG, Diana is out there capturing pure gold. She’s already been to the Highlands, where she came face to face with the legendary bird of paradise. And no, not in a zoo – in the wild, dancing freely like it owns the forest.

She’s living with locals in a remote village, eating fresh coconuts, learning to weave mats, and even picking up the local language. Imagine Diana trying to speak Tok Pisin with her Kenyan accent – priceless content loading!

Last night she attended a traditional sing-sing around a bonfire under the stars, with warriors in full costume performing dances that have been passed down for generations. She said, “I came to document the birds, but now I’m part of something much deeper – stories, traditions, and connections that go beyond borders.”

And guess what – she’s not done yet. More adventures are coming as she continues exploring the untouched beauty of Papua New Guinea. She’s reminding us that there’s a whole world out there, full of stories that deserve to be seen, heard, and felt.

Let’s keep cheering her on. We’re proud of her for putting Kenya on the global storytelling map – and doing it with heart, humor, and hustle.

🌍📸 Diana, tuko na wewe hadi mwisho. More power to your lens.

03/07/2025

IF YOU ARE SINGLE OR DATNG ALWAYS REMEMBER:

1. The right person will hear you differently. You deserve someone who thinks you're too important to lose.

2. You can't replace a woman that gives you both wifey and bestfriend vibes, that s**t is rare.

3. Her mindset will raise your children; not her body and good looks. Choose wisely.

4. Men, you can't build a kingdom with someone who still craves attention from the village. Be wise.

5. Some people keep changing partners to avoid changing themselves. Don't rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself, feel yourself.

6. Never marry your age, son. Find someone who has experienced much more about life than you do.

7. If you're in your 20s, move out of your parents care. You'll learn how to be independent and comfortable alone.

8. The worst thing in life is ending up with the wrong partner not being alone. So choose who will complement your life.

9. Clear communication is so attractive. With the right person, you don't have to work hard to be happy. It just happens.

10. Invest in good wardrobe and always mind your appearance because you'll always attract someone of your level.

11. Clear communication. Respect. A lot of laughter. And a lot of or***ms. That's what makes a marriage work.

Follow this space if you want appreciate me.

03/07/2025

High Value men habits!!

1. Don't tolerate disrespect from anyone.

2. Talk to cute girls instead of jeerking off.

3. Are not afraid to be rejected.

4. Do not watch p**rno*graphy.

5. Lift heavy weights at least 4x a week.

6. Talk slowly and walk slowly.

7. Control their tongue, stomach, and dicksony.

8. Don't faight or argue with women.

9. Never become too comfortable.

10. Never double-text women.

11. Know when to speak and when to listen.

12. Walk in nature and get sunlight.

13. Stay laser-focused on their purpose.

14. Never stop improving themselves.

15. Always wake up better than yesterday.

03/07/2025

14 short Rules to Increase your personality:

1. Avoid getting a haircut on the day of a significant event.

2. When someone confides in you, keep their secret.

3. Stick to a routine: sleep early and rise early.

4. Always compliment the meal when you're a guest at someone's place.

5. If you're thinking about asking her out, do it now before regret sets in.

6. Make it a habit to watch a TED Talk daily. Ideas will become your greatest asset.

7. Disconnect from your phone when you're with family.

8. Learn the power of saying "No."

9. Prioritize exercise and maintain your health while you can.

10. No one’s going to care about your problems; work hard and take responsibility for your future.

11. Be selective about who you trust. Guard your secrets.

12. Focus on investing before spending.

13. Your kids only get one childhood—make it unforgettable. And remember, the same goes for you.

14. Lift weights and get in shape.

Follow this Page please.

03/07/2025

MY FATHER'S ADVICE...

1. Not everything will go as you expect in your life. This is why you need to drop expectations and go with the flow.

2.Reduce bitterness from your life, that s**t delays blessings!

3. Dating a supportive woman is everything.

4. If you want to be successful, you must respect one rule - Never lie to yourself.

5. If your parents always count on you, don't play the same game with those who count on their parents.

6. Chase goals, not people.

7. Your 20's are your selfish years, build yourself, choose yourself first at all cost.

8. Detachment is power. Release anything that doesn't bring you peace.

9. Only speak when your words are more beautiful than your silence.

10. Invest in your looks. Do it for no one else but yourself. When you look good, you feel good. Normalize dressing well, you're broke not mad.

11. Some people want to see everything go wrong for you because nothing is going right for them.

12. Being a good person doesn't get you loved. It gets you used.

13. Don't be afraid of losing people, be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you.

14. Keep your move private. Don't announce it until it's SEALED! Premature announcements attract bad spirits. Best thing you can do is stop telling people what's going on in your life.

15. For the sake of your mental health don't love too hard, therapy sessions are expensive. Also, marry when you're ready, not when you're lonely.

16. Your thoughts are very powerful, make them positive.

17. Social media will make you envy someone you should actually pity.

18. Nobody owes you anything on your birthday, learn to save money and spoil yourself.

19. That move you're scared to make might just be the one that changes everything. Do it. Move.

20. Dont mess up your progress trying to rush the process.

21. No matter how thirsty you are, there are some people you should never ask for water.

22. Add value to your life, learn a skill, develop yourself.

23. Never love someone to the point where you no longer mind them hurting you.

24. You are your own best friend. Never ever, put yourself down.

25. Sometimes people come back in your life just to check if you're still stupid.

26. The sooner you figure out which chairs don't belong at your table, the more peaceful your meals become.

27. If you want to run, first you must learn to walk. Yes, the dreams are big, but you have to start somewhere, and doing something is better than nothing at all. Start small, stay consistent and watch it get bigger.

28. Before spending money on someone else, make sure your family is good.

29. What comes easy, won't last. What lasts, won't come easy.

30. Normalize lying to people who ask you lots of questions about your personal life.

31. One day you'll test HIV positive because of forgiving cheating partners.

32. Some Ex's need to understand that even if we hear they now drive a plane or own the world, we will never regret leaving them.

33. Avoid peer pressure.

34. Do not abuse and kill women. Respect yourself.

35. Not everyone at your work place is your friend.

~ Do your job.

~ Get paid.

~ Go home.

03/07/2025

Addiction is not always the problem. Losing control is.

John F. Kennedy was no saint. He loved to party, enjoyed his drink, smoked a little w**d now and then, and had what many believe was a serious addiction to s*x. It’s said he had a different woman almost every day — secretaries, call girls, celebrities, even random admirers on the campaign trail. People close to him, including Secret Service agents, confirmed the pattern. But despite all this, he never failed to carry the weight of the presidency.

He showed up for his job. He handled the Cuban Missile Crisis, built NASA’s momentum toward the moon, faced civil rights pressures, and stood toe to toe with the Soviets. Just like Winston Churchill, who was a lifelong alcoholic but led Britain through World War II with unmatched grit and resolve. These were not clean men, but they were disciplined men. Their addictions existed, but they didn’t rule their lives.

That is the real issue with addiction. It is not the habit itself, but when the habit becomes the master and you become the slave. When it begins to eat into your work, your responsibilities, your family, your self-worth — that is when society turns its back on you. Because in truth, people are not repelled by addiction. They are repelled by weakness.

We live in a world that respects those who fall and get back up. Those who indulge but still deliver. As my grandfather used to say,
“If you feel like a big man drinking and partying all night, prove it by waking up and still being a big man the next morning, even with a hangover from hell.”

You can have habits, vices, even demons — but they should never take the driver’s seat in your life. Self-control is what separates a cautionary tale from a legend.

Kenia News

05/07/2025

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