23/11/2025
🤣🤣 My Unexpected Career as a Professional Chicken Whisperer 😂 🤦♂️
This morning, I woke up with one goal: go for a peaceful jog and pretend I have my life together. Simple, right? No. The universe saw my plan and said, “Watch this.”
Halfway through my jog, I stopped at the park to catch my breath (which left my body after three minutes). Out of nowhere, I heard aggressive clucking behind me. I turned around and saw a chicken. An actual chicken. In a public park. Staring at me like it had unpaid debts to collect.
Naturally, I did the mature thing—I froze and made direct eye contact like we were about to duel at sunrise.
The chicken started walking toward me with the confidence of someone who pays rent on time. I tried being friendly and whispered,
“Hey little buddy…”
Apparently that was chicken for Square up, because the thing SPRINTED at me like I stole its eggs.
So now I’m running—forget the jog, I’m full-on Olympic sprinting—while being chased by a feathered demon with wings.
A family on a picnic watched the entire thing. Instead of helping, they pulled out their phones because apparently I’m now viral content.
After three laps around a bench, the chicken finally stopped chasing me and just pecked the ground like nothing happened. I took that moment to regain my dignity (which is still missing).
On my way home, I passed a guy with AirPods who looked at me and nodded like he understood.
Bro, unless you’ve been hunted by poultry, you don’t understand.
Long story short:
I went outside to get healthy and ended up being recruited into poultry Fight Club.
Moral of the story... 👇comments
