03/09/2025
My Brother, Ask Yourself These Five Questions Before You Marry That Lady!
First, allow me to inform you that this is a long read, but you will surely thank us at the end, especially if you read with an open heart...
My brother, marriage is not a game. It is not something you rush into because of pressure, emotions, or attraction. Many young men like you, are young and inexperienced, you think they know what you want, but most times you are carried away by feelings, beauty, or desire. You confuse strong sexual attraction with true love, and end up making promises or decisions that later bring you pain... If you look around, you will see many of your friends in this circle of pain, regret and "had I known".
That your babe may be beautiful, fun to be with and or charming like today's fresh fruits, but that alone doesn’t guarantee a happy, healthy relationship or marriage. You must ask yourself some honest questions before you commit, because marrying the wrong person can drain you emotionally, financially, and spiritually. And this can also affect both your mental and physical health.
The truth is: "Marriage can build every aspect of your life to the highest possible level and can also take you the deepest part of hell! Yes, marriage is that powerful!" Qoute me! That is why you, as my brother, must pause, think, and ask yourself some honest questions before you commit to anyone. The answers to these questions will help you avoid marrying the wrong woman, someone who will only drain you emotionally, financially, and spiritually.
A happy marriage is not built on looks, money, or pressure from friends and family. It is built on genuine love, respect, friendship, and interdependence. These are the things that last when beauty fades and when life gets tough. Here are five powerful questions every man should ask before marriage:
1. Does She Like Me?
Liking is the foundation of friendship. Marriage without friendship is dry and boring. If she doesn’t genuinely like your personality — your jokes, your company, your ways — then the marriage will feel like a duty, not a joy.
Think about it: if you marry someone who doesn’t like you, what will you talk about on a Saturday morning? How will you enjoy sitting together at home, sharing ideas, or just being yourselves? Liking is what keeps friendship alive.
👉 Ask yourself: Do we enjoy each other’s company even without romance? Can we laugh, gist, and share life together as friends, even gossiping 🙈?
2. Does She Want Me?
It’s one thing for her to like you, but it’s another for her to actually want you. A woman may like you as a person but may not desire you as her life partner.
When a woman truly wants a man, it shows. She looks forward to being with him, she is excited about the relationship, and she does not play endless delay games. But if she is giving conditions, dragging her feet for years, or acting like she is waiting for another man, then she doesn’t really want you.
👉 Ask yourself: Is she eager to be with me, or am I the only one forcing the relationship forward? Does she return your call as soon as possible? Simple questions like have you eaten, how was your day?
3. Does She Need Me?
Marriage is about interdependence. Both partners should need each other in some way — emotionally, spiritually, mentally, or otherwise. If she doesn’t need you, you may soon feel useless or unwanted.
But be careful here: needing you should not mean using you. If she only “needs” you for money, lifestyle, or status, then you are nothing but an ATM to her. Such a relationship will not last because once you stop providing what she wants, the love will dry up.
👉 Ask yourself: Does she truly need me as a partner, or does she only need what I can give her? Does she ask your opinion on decisions she wants to make? Does she seek your counsel on matters she can't solve?
4. Does She Love Me?
Love is deeper than attraction or likeness. Real love shows in actions — in care, sacrifice, and commitment. If she loves you, she will want to build with you, not manipulate you.
But if she keeps delaying, making endless demands, or treating your relationship like a business negotiation, that’s not love. If she gossips about you, insults you, or constantly disrespects you, that is hatred, not love.
👉 Ask yourself: Does her love for me show in her actions, or only in words and emojis? Am I the first she calls in joys and danger? Do I feel loved, appreciated and truly involved?
5. Does She Value and Respect Me?
Love without respect will never last. A woman can say “I love you” every day, but if she looks down on you, insults you in private or public, or treats you like a bank account, then you are heading for pain.
Respect means she honors your efforts, appreciates you as a man, and treats you as a partner — not as a tool or a resource. When someone truly values you, they do not exploit you, manipulate you, or compare you with others.
👉 Ask yourself: Does she honor me, speak well of me, even behind me, and treat me as a partner… or does she only see me as a provider... A mumu, ATM or Mugun?
My dear brother, why will you even want to ignore these life saving questions? Ignoring them is a direct walk into unpleasant marital journey... A woman who does not like, want, need, love, or respect you will only drain you and make you regret your choice.
Don’t let pheromones, attraction, or pressure push you into a marriage that will suffocate you. Don’t let anyone — family, mentors, or even pastors — pressure you into a marriage you don’t want. Even well-meaning people can recommend the wrong person.
Marriage is for life. Go for someone who truly loves, values, and respects you. Go for genuine affection, not manipulation. Don’t settle for less, because the price of a wrong marriage is far more than you can ever imagine. In short: Before you say “I do”, make sure you can honestly answer:
Does she like me?
Does she want me?
Does she need me?
Does she love me?
Does she value and respect me?
If any of these answers is a shaky “no,” my brother, remember our proverb, "Egungun
Bicareful, Na Express You Dey Go". Honestly speaking, we can not answer so many other questions right now. You should be able to find some answers yourself. Remember, we have taught you some basic, quality and powerful principles. Just apply them. You don’t need our validation again to get it right!
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