JK NGUGI

JK NGUGI news updates

07/06/2025

Hi cousins 😊,Mimi ni cousin wa muranga je wewe?

02/06/2025

Murang'a beans made molima forget about the Luo festival that was happening yesterday in Homabay 😁
For that reason, Mr yes sir na makofi hawaachani😊

man started a zoo and made the entrance fee $300 but no one went there. He reduced it to $200 but still no one came.He ...
07/04/2025

man started a zoo and made the entrance fee $300 but no one went there. He reduced it to $200 but still no one came.

He then reduced the fee to $100 but still people didn't come.

Finally, he made it FREE entrance and soon, the zoo was filled with people. Then he quietly locked the gate of the zoo😊, set the lions free and made the exit fee $500 and everyone paid!

As you go about in life, beware of cheap or free offers, they can be terrible.

No business is free, my friends!
Blessed week ahead
John N Kimani

Happy International Women's Day🌸 Today, we celebrate the strength, resilience, and boundless contributions of women all...
08/03/2025

Happy International Women's Day🌸

Today, we celebrate the strength, resilience, and boundless contributions of women all over the world.

To the trailblazers who break barriers, the nurturers who uplift communities, the thinkers who inspire progress, and the dreamers who envision a brighter future—you are the heart and soul of change.


John N Kimani

Since yesterday midnight there is a Mercedes GLE parked outside our gate.My estate has cars lakini hatujafika level ya M...
04/02/2025

Since yesterday midnight there is a Mercedes GLE parked outside our gate.
My estate has cars lakini hatujafika level ya Mercedes GLE 😂😂😂...tumejaza fielder na tududu na vanguard sasa Ile ya tajiri mkubwa 😅.
So if your husband drives a Mercedes GLE and he is not yet home please call me I tell you where I live...

Ama wacha tu😅...don't call me...🚶‍♀️😒
Let my neighbour also have a share in the money.
She deserves happiness.
Asante,ni hayo tu kwa sasa.
John N Kimani

"Hakuna Kuingia Jikoni". That statement found in many eateries has now been understood well from Gwa Kûng'û butchery🙆Jo...
20/01/2025

"Hakuna Kuingia Jikoni". That statement found in many eateries has now been understood well from Gwa Kûng'û butchery🙆
John N Kimani

18/01/2025

kaa rada streets ni chafu.....

✅ Nilipmwa Wednesday Na ilikuwa negative😅

✅ Stop taking your busaa from mrija 😅

✅ Si unaona Ni yeye amenitext Kwanza

✅ Mimi Niko Na 3 years bila. Hata nilisahau

✅ Huku kwangu siletangi wanaume . Ni wewe tu Na hata sijui imekuwaje🤭😊

✅ Tuko Na wife juu Ya watoto🤭. She lives in my house but you occupy my heart.

✅Wacha hii January iishe nikufungulie Biashara😂

✅Nizalie 2025. Mimi nakupelekea wazazi hii Easter 😅.

✅Stima huku zilipotea Thursday. Hata ndio zimerudishwa😅.

✅Nilienda kuona shush yangu. Alikuwa amemeza wembe hiyo Thursday. Si unajua Na huko hakuna network 🤣😂

✅Haki wewe Ni insecure sana . He is just a friend . Hata niliambiwa Ni cousin yangu Wa Pande Ya akina mzaíí😊

✅ Kevo Ulisema nishukie wapi? Kevo Yuko semi finals already

✅Haki wewe Bryo Ni mfunny? Bryo Yuko quarter finals.

✅ Na Steve ujue sikai. Man Stevo Yuko finals

✅Mbona siku hizi hunipigiangi simu? Nakuchat unanipea blue ticks. Ushawahi Ona mwanasiasa akicampaign baada Ya uchaguzi ?

✅ Take care of yourselves good people. The market remains dirty, polluted,filthy , rigged and dangerous.
✅For the wages of sin is death.
John N Kimani

Do your children know how their parents feared these things? Passing under such a tree could cause cardiac arrest.😅😅John...
11/01/2025

Do your children know how their parents feared these things? Passing under such a tree could cause cardiac arrest.😅😅
John N Kimani

11/01/2025

Disclaimer:....
1. Drive carefully in the streets. Gari Ni KDS lakini mileage Ni KAA.

2. When buying land be very careful. Search , verify , draft an agreement then pay. It could be a ¼ plot but the beacons are for a hectare

3. If it's a new car , take it to a car wash first. See the original paint devoid of 43kgs of buffing.

4. When driving along outering road , stop asking stupid questions. Concentrate on the steering wheel especially around Kariobangi roundabout and on vehicles Cumming😊 from Donholm

5. Always buckle your belt and arrive safely
John N Kimani

A masaai hawker stared at me for some time, scanned my tummy using his sharp eye, and I think he saw tapeworms fighting ...
11/01/2025

A masaai hawker stared at me for some time, scanned my tummy using his sharp eye, and I think he saw tapeworms fighting over the many chicken I ate around Christmas.

He walked to me and convinced me that if I chewed this seed, it would wash all the "dirt" from my body, including the soil I ate when I was a baby, the mucus I licked when I was a toddler, the part of my brain where I store anger, and everything from my intestines which my sitting allowances 😊has refused to let out, for many years.

For the past week, I've been holding this seed in my hand, staring at it for minutes, but when I want to throw it in my mouth, one of my ancestors whom I suspect swallowed this seed and did not have enough tissue paper in his house, whispers to me, "acha."
John N Kimani

Nó kugeria John N Kimani
10/01/2025

Nó kugeria
John N Kimani

10/01/2025

1. It's Friday. We all know the healthy ritual.... Sunning them and earthing

2. Always walk like a maasai. Aim for at least 10k steps daily.

3. The Mido crass is allowed to use the treadmill 😊

4. Always lift weight with consistency . You don’t have to go to the gym to get in shape. A bench and a few pairs of dumbbells is all you need.

5. Weekends shouldn't control you. Be in charge .No uji power. No juices. No alcohol. No soda. No junk. Eat right.

6. Then pale Saa mbili Na nusu usiku masaa ya Odegaard... More soup,more collagen.

7. Have a blessed weekend
John N Kimani

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