18/05/2026
๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐๐๐ฟ๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ป ๐ก๐ฎ๐ถ๐ฟ๐ผ๐ฏ๐ถ โ.
๐ฅ๐๐น๐ฒ ๐ก๐ผ.1
Ukikatiwa Mtura, mwambie aonje moja. Akisema ameshiba ama ako sawa, jua ni paka๐๐.
๐ฅ๐๐น๐ฒ ๐ป๐ผ.2
Usiwahi salimia mtu kwa mkono๐
โโ๏ธ. Hallo! Hallo! Na mdomo. In fact, hio ndio kazi ya earphones. Kufanya usiskie salamu ukiwa town๐.
๐ฅ๐๐น๐ฒ ๐ป๐ผ. 3
Usiwahi kubali kuombewa town. Wewe utageuka wa kuomba watu fare bila kujua. Utapoteza time na kila kitu uko nacho๐ค.
๐ฅ๐๐น๐ฒ ๐ป๐ผ. 4
Mtu akisema amepotea town๐ณ, mwambie atumie google maps ama aongee na Soja. Ukimwonyesha njia, wewe utapotea njia. Hapa sitaeleza sana๐.
๐ฅ๐๐น๐ฒ ๐ป๐ผ. 6
Ukiwa Globe ama OTC, usitumie simu dirisha ikiwa wazi. Utauziwa hio simu ukifika town/CBD๐.
๐ฅ๐๐น๐ฒ ๐ป๐ผ. 7
Ukiitwa brathe town ama siste, jua it's about to go down. Unataka kuuziwa kitu wameiba ama unataka kuibiwa kitu utauziwa. Run!๐๐โโ๏ธ
๐ฅ๐๐น๐ฒ . 8
Hapa sasa ndio kila mtu anafaa kuwa attentive. Ukiskia wanasema kiatu mia... Skiza vizuri hio mia wanasema mara ngapi? Ukiskia 'kiatu mia' jua hio ni 100. Ukiskia "kiatu mia, mia pekee" hio ni 200. Ukiskia " kiatu mia,mia,mia" hio ni 300. Akili mtu wangu๐๐.
๐ฅ๐๐น๐ฒ ๐ป๐ผ. 9
Ukitaka kucross njia Nairobi, hata ikiwa one way, angalia both ways. Wasee wa nduthi huwa ni k**a wako na shule yao ya driving special. Utadhani njia iko clear kumbe Njoro wa Nduthi amekuja na speed. Usishangae ukiona watu wanaangalia both sides kwa one way road. ๐
๐ฅ๐๐น๐ฒ ๐ป๐ผ. 10
The best is saved for last. Hii ndio Mama yao๐. It's a whole topic on Introduction to How to survive in Nairobi. TREAT EVERYONE AS A SUSPECT. Ndio maana inaitwa NAIROBBERY๐๐. Nikiexplain nitaharibu. Hapa inahitaji tu Character Development ndio uelewe. ๐
๐ฅ๐๐น๐ฒ ๐ป๐ผ. 11
๐ก๐ฎ ๐๐ฒ๐๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฐ๐ต๐ผ๐๐ผ, ๐บ๐ฏ๐ผ๐ป๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐ฎ๐๐ฎ๐ฒ ๐ธ๐๐ป๐ถ๐ณ๐ผ๐น๐น๐ผ๐? ๐๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐น๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐ฟ๐ผ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ถ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ ๐ฅฐ?
๐จ๐๐ถ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ ๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐ผ, ๐ป๐ถ๐ณ๐ผ๐น๐น๐ผ๐
