03/08/2025
Amma came and whispered in my ear, "Why is my son-in-law screaming? He is calling me on the phone. He is saying, "Amma, you have justice!" What happened? What are you doing?"
I was eating the plum pickle brought by Amma with my right foot on my left foot and reading a complicated thriller novel. In the meantime, I got annoyed by such questions and said, Amma, five minutes! The murderer will be caught right away!
Amma said with wide eyes, "Whose murderer is it?"
Without further ado, I showed him the book in my hand. Amma shook her head and sat in a worried manner.
The incident was very minor. I am very lazy. I do not like to move around at all. Before marriage, my son-in-law did not know that. After new marriages, girls are very eager to tidy up the house, do household chores. They show off everything and claim it as their own. For example, "This is my house, that is my kitchen, I need to water my flower pots, my roof is very beautiful, my dining table is wobbly" etc. But I don't do anything like that. I don't have that much interest. My only goal in life is to get through life without any effort or hassle.
I sit in bed or on the sofa all day. The door to the house from outside is through the drawing room. The bell rings repeatedly, so I have to get up and open the door, so I came up with a good idea. I tied the doorknob to a long bamboo in such a way that the door opens when I shake the rope.
My son-in-law Shahed doesn't like such annoying activities of mine. The day before yesterday he said in an annoyed voice, "Why did you marry me?"
I yawned and said, "There is a valid reason. But you won't like hearing it."
Shahed said with a tight expression, "I want to hear it even if I don't like it."
I said, I married you so that I wouldn't have to get up to turn off the light after lying comfortably under the blanket. Or hold the headphones a few feet away from me, you can pass them. Then hold the book on the table while I'm lying on the bed, you can bring it to me.
Hearing these words, I'm sure from the look Shahed looked at me that if he took initiation from a saintly monk, he could burn me to ashes with that look if he wanted.
However, today Shahed called my mother in anger because he thought I had ended the unrest. But I don't think I created any unrest. I would never do the amount of energy it takes to create unrest!
What I did today was call Shahed. He was busy in an urgent meeting in the office. He said on the phone, what should I say, tell me quickly!
I said in a panicked voice, please come home, please, I really need it!
There is no one at home except me. The maid is at school at this time. She comes home after school and cooks. Shahed must have thought I had a problem. Suddenly feeling unwell or something like that. He ran out of the office. On the way, he called an ambulance. He called a hospital he knew and said, there might be an emergency, keep the cabin ready. He did the whole thing in ten minutes. He reached home by twelve minutes.
Shahed has the key. As soon as I got out of the taxi and ran into the house, I yawned and said, "I can't find the AC remote, it's too cold. Can you turn it up a little, please?"
Shahed was looking at me. But I had my eyes closed so I couldn't see his hard gaze. At that moment, I heard the siren of the ambulance and looked at him and said, "It's good that you called the ambulance. I need to go to the tailor's for a while and get my clothes made. Can't I go lying down in the ambulance?"
Shahed left the house without answering. My mother appeared in the evening. This is what happened.
Shahed came home. He was sitting in an urgent meeting with my mother. I was also called there. I took two cushions from the bed and sat comfortably on the sofa, leaning back and seeing both of them looking at me sternly.
My mother was the first to speak, don't you want to start a family? If you don't want to, tell me!
I was surprised and said, I don't understand why you don't want to start a family! Shahed's house is quite comfortable. The bed mattress is soft, the sofas are comfortable. The bathroom is also beautiful, there is good WiFi! You can sit and talk on the phone for a long time.
Even when my mother tried to scold me, she didn't give in. She never scolds me. Looking at Shahed with helpless eyes, she said, "Dad, tell me what I should do now! Do you want to divorce this girl? Even if you want to, I can't blame you! It's not your fault, it's my fault." When she was in the womb, I used to lie down and relax, even when I got up to go to the bathroom, this girl would kick me in the stomach! She didn't cry after birth. When the doctor turned her over and patted her on the back, she got annoyed and stopped making a little noise. Where am I going with such a lazy girl!....
Amma started crying. Shahed held Amma's hand and said, "Amma, don't cry. Your girl may be lazy, but I love her very much. I will never leave her. If necessary, I will leave ten servants behind. What else can I do? Your girl will not move!"
Five years later. I have a daughter. Needless to say, she is also lazy like me. As the saying goes, a lazy mind is the devil's playground. Now I have discovered a new game. I never speak Bengali to my daughter. In fact, I don't speak any language. I only utter one word in front of her, which is 'Hamba'. Yes! I am talking about the cow's lowing humba. I recently read in a book that children speak the language they hear and learn. So I'm experimenting with pen and paper to see if it's true.Shahed doesn't know this. He has been promoted now. He is busy with office work almost all day. He goes on tours here and there every few days. So when he first returned from Switzerland, he handed his daughter a toy elephant and said, "Mom, tell me, what is this?"
The girl said, "Hamba."
Shahed laughed and said, "No, mom! It's not a hamba. It's an elephant..ha...te.. elephant!"
The girl said again in a serious voice, "Hamba."
Shahed shook his head in frustration and said, "Okay, okay. Call your mom. Where is mom?"
The girl said again, "Hamba!"
Shahed, now a little doubtful, held his daughter's hand and said, "Mom, tell me, what is your name?"
-Hamba!
Shahed showed a glass of water and said, "What is this?"
-Hamba!
Shahed screamed in a panic, "Oh God!"
The girl said again in a serious voice, Hamba!
My mother has come again. The matter of my Hamba experiment has become known. The book from which I learned that 'children learn what they listen to' is the book that Shahed is burning inside the stove.
My mother looked at me and said in a crying voice, what will I do with you! You got your own daughter in this world to do this experiment!
I sat with my head down. Shahed sat with his hand on his head.
But who else can change what has happened. Nowadays, Shahed comes from the office in the evening. My daughter and I sit comfortably under the blanket. I read the book, the girl makes a happy noise when she sees Shahed while eating chocolate, Hamba!
She says this and keeps quiet. She does not run towards her father. After all, my daughter, it's not right to think that she will lose energy by running around unnecessarily.
★Finished★
: Lazy_Girl
'x'Mシ
